Being told that as a size 18 I can’t wear certain clothes

[isaidmaybeyoure]

I do appreciate that when posting canvassing for opinions on outfits etc., you will get all sorts of responses.

But I have been told a few times now that as a size 18, I should cover up and not expose too much skin, basically purely because of my size.

AIBU to think this isn’t okay? I have as much a right to get my shoulders out as any other size!

Anyone with any understanding of clothes knows it’s body shape that relevant, not size!

Having read the other thread now, I can see that you received a very small amount of opinions that were along the lines of a halter neck wouldn't suit you because you're overweight.

It's not an opinion I share, but if you're going to involve internet strangers in your clothing choices, you won't like every opinion shared.

If you're happy with whichever dress you choose, that's all that matters.

You are asking for opinions and then moaning about getting opinions. 🙄

Either don’t ask for opinions or learn to ignore ones you don’t like.

Personally I think excess fat looks unattractive, no one looks good with it, but your purpose in life isn’t to look good for random people, so wear whatever you like. People will have thoughts and opinions, you can’t change that.

People will say that you shouldn’t wear a certain length of skirt if you have long legs.

People will say that you shouldn’t wear a certain type of top if you have a big boobs.

and the same goes for if you have a larger frame all round. Some items of clothing just won’t flatter your figure as much as others.

Yeah this is also true. I didn’t mention my size till someone made a horrid comment about the model.

Honestly I wouldn’t bother posting about something related to weight on mumsnet. People take absolute joy in telling you how much they hate fat people and how disgusting they look. Anonymous forums really bring out the worst in people

😱

I look very stylish in my Crocs!

This thread is ridiculous.

’ I asked for opinions and got some I didn’t want to hear! ‘

’ ignore them!’

for the record, I don’t want to see masses of flesh on display unless I’ve consented.

You've been told this on MN? I'm surprised tbh as by far the most commonly expressed view is wear what you like, that larger bodies are nothing to be ashamed of and that slim doesn't equal attractive. Sometimes on S&B people specifically ask for covering clothes, floaty, sleeves etc, and sometimes people say THEY as a larger woman prefer to cover up. But I've genuinely not seen anyone advising another woman they 'should' on here.
Not quite as Liberal when it comes to older woman unfortunately, but that's another matter.

With the heat we’ve been having, I say, just be grateful I’m wearing any clothes at all!
I’m a size 18 and I’m living in shorts and vest tops, I have fat arms but they’d still be fat if I put a cardigan on. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wear whatever you want.

Please ignore the fashion nazis.

If you can’t handle seeing someone shoulders that’s a you problem and you should just stay home in case someone has their arms out and it upsets you

The thing that always puts me off the idea of halternecks is how to manage a bra with them.

But if you’ve got yourself a solution for that, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t wear one.

“Which dress is suitable for a wedding?”

”you can’t wear a halterneck because you’re a size 18. Too much flesh”

I don't really understand why anyone would seek fashion advice on here really.

My huge revelation (which didn't happen until my 40s) was to completely reject the idea of flattering (when used to mean making you look smaller). I dress in a much more interesting and stylish way now I've finally trained myself out of the message I've received all my life about shrinking myself. I'm not overweight but I'm very short and basically always look quite stocky especially as I lift weights. I've stopped fighting my body on this.

I love how the young women in my office dress with little regard to trying to look slimmer.

I can handle it, it doesn’t upset me.

I think it’s tacky, gross, unstylish, vulgar.

I thought lipoedema only affected thighs and bum? That’s what posters were saying in a thread a few days ago raising awareness of the condition.

Can I just check, is this all shoulders? Or just some?

Are you Queen Victoria?

I am slightly uncomfortable with saying this, because I realise there's a lot of emotions around weight:

NO ONE should be made to feel ashamed about their body or weight.

However, there's a fascinating militant movement on Mumsnet of people who are above average BMI, who want to shout to everyone that they are fabulous and that any criticism of anything is pig ignorance, despite them starting a topic inviting people to critique a look, outfit, or even asking for advice about their weight.

I think the body positive movement is fantastic in terms of self esteem. I have of course however fallen foul many a time in my workplace, in so called 'friendship' groups, of people who believe that a tall woman in their mid-40s who runs every week shouldn't be a healthy size 10 , that I "need meat on my bones", that I "need to eat a burger", that "aren't you the lucky one" etc

Many people who self proclaim as size 12 to 20 on here do not countenance any feedback whatsoever, and are so very quick to verbally slap anyone down who wants to talk objectively.

Its why I completely steer clear of any discussions about weight any more. I realise of course that I am now in the "undesirable" camp, but it fascinates me how the sightlines have changes, we can't see anything the same way any more and it has to be a collective rejection of former aesthetics.

But that is their opinion. You do understand you can still actually wear the halterneck if you want to right despite username123 saying you can’t, right?

Why are you taking random peoples opinions so seriously and personally?

I’m a size 14 and short but with long legs and a short body. I carry weight pretty evenly all over. I wear jeggings, and strappy dresses.

People have opinions. People will look at you in that dress in real life and will have an opinion on the way you look. It can be positive; it can be negative. Some might think you look hot, some might think you look obese. Most of them will keep it to themselves, unless asked.

You can't police threads to fit your exact requirements unless you specify 'no negative comments whatsoever, just praise', and not even then. If you're that sensitive, don't even ask.

And if you decided you look good in that dress and want to wear it, then what's the problem? Wear it. Others will like it/won't like it/won't pay attention at all; that's normal.

YABU for paying a blind bit of attention to the opinions of others.

I’m aware I’m fat.

I’m also aware that I’m a lot less fat than I was and I’m a lot healthier than I was.

I wasn’t asking for opinions on my size. Just whether dress is suitable for a wedding or not