Is this a logical reason to change a baby’s name?

[MongerNoLonger]

My DH is from Spain, so we decided to give our child a name that is common in Spain. The problem is that I’ve noticed that people intentionally try to avoid saying her name. I believe it is because they’re worried that they’re going to mispronounce it or feeling self-conscious that they’re going to sound strange whilst saying it (because it doesn’t sound as natural when said with an English accent). Even friends and family will call her the baby or little one instead of saying her actual name (whereas my nephews have always been referred to as their actual names).

She’s a few months old, and I think that it would be wise to change it now (before she becomes aware of her name). I really don’t want my child to endure a lifetime of people going to great lengths to avoid saying her name. Our first names are such a core part of our identity. What are your thoughts?

Maybe offer to teach them how to say it? What's the name? I wouldn't change it. Once she's old enough she'll let people know how to say it I'm sure. If you love the name keep it.

Is it something you almost need to put on a Spanish accent to say? That will give her some interesting pronunciations over her life. I wouldn't officially change her name, and her spanish side of her family will be fine. Is there a shortening or second name you could call her day to day in England?

I wouldn’t change it at this point. What’s the name? Maybe work on an easy to pronounce nickname

Surely in a few years she’ll be able to say her name herself so it won’t be a problem then? What’s the name?

Is it a name that looks unpronounceable to a non-Spaniard?

Hard to comment without knowing the name OP! Does she have a middle name she might want to use when older- IF she finds it an issue?

I’d change it.

Teach people the name? Is it hard to pronounce in English?

Our children have Scandinavian names and they accept the British way of saying out and around.

I wouldn't change baby's name.

What's her name?

Can you tell us the name?

if it’s a really tough one to pronounce then just teaching your family isn’t going to help her long term. She may be happy to correct people of course but if people are actively avoiding it then it’s not great. Will it be a problem at school for example.

is there a shortening they could call her? I know someone with a dd with a hard to pronounce Portuguese name - it’s almost impossible for an English person to make the required sound or even recognise the letter makes that sound. They gave her a nickname for school but still use her full name themselves and with family etc

Is it something like Beatriz where you say it as Beh-ah-TREEZ and they think 'It's something like Beatrice but I'll get it all wrong so I'll just say little girl'?

Or is it something like Iratxe - if you'd never seen it before you might think 'bloody hell, how do you say that?' . Apologies to any Iratxe reading and it's a Basque name not Spanish.

First one, persevere with it and put up with the odd 'Beatrice'
Second, ask close friends/family why they're not actually using it.

I think change it. Or she'll spend her whole life giving every new acquaintance a lesson on how to pronounce her name. Either that, or start introducing her by a shortened, easier version, English sounding eg "bea". That's what she might have to start doing anyway when shes older.

Is it Alejandra or Luz, OP? I always struggle with those ones. I’m certain there’s more that I’m not thinking of.

Parents who choose names that are difficult to pronounce are usually confident in their choice and don’t mind correcting people. But if you’re finding it hard and already feeling unsure, that may be something your child picks up on too, and they may end up disliking the name. In my opinion, I’d just change it.

Could you save the time, effort, complication (and she will have to declare all names since birth on DBS and any foreign visa applications for the rest of her life and explain her birth certificate not matching her changed name on the deed poll forevermore) and just give her a pronounceable nickname like Bea or Allie instead?

I think if you're raising a child in the UK and want to give a name from another culture you have to consider pronunciation. British people are notoriously bad at accents and pronunciation in other languages so it's setting them up to fail. Would you tell us the name?

I think it depends on the name. Cruz for example, I wouldn’t be sure how to say (I think pronounced “Cruth” in Spain). Lucia (maybe more Italian) I’d say looch-ia. But surely you will let people know how to say eg nursery. Can you tell us the name or a similar one so we can work out which category it falls into?

You haven't mentioned what your husband says about your flipflopping on your child's given name.
When you stated "our first names are a core part of our identity"..you're corrent..hence names are deliberated over and discussed before being registered...not just given off the cuff.
Why are you now wanting to change?
It's the child's name, it doesn't belong to anyone else.

The child's identity and heritage are half Spanish...don't now try to erase that fact.. just because some people you know..(you don't actually know, you're just assuming..) are too lazy to pronounce it.

Have you asked your family why they don’t use the baby’s name? If they aren’t sure how to pronounce it it then help them. If it’s a difficult pronunciation for a non Spanish speaker then accept some reasonable variation in pronunciation so long as it’s still the name. Say her name a lot in the presence of everyone, make it really familiar. It’s her name and everyone will get used to it.

It really depends on the name, how hard it is to pronounce for non Spanish speakers and whether or not you like the varying versions of pronunciation.
For example- I’m thinking ‘Lucia’ in Spanish has a ‘th’ sound in the middle and personally I wouldn’t mind if people substituted with the ‘s’ sound.
I’m thinking the one you’ve chosen must be quite complicated if some people are choosing to not use her name at all rather than even trying to pronounce it! In that case she is likely to have a lifetime of difficulties. Not necessarily a problem if you (and later she) are happy to correct/ help people with prononuciation all the time!
It would help if you shared the name?

I was thinking Jimena or something harder

What’s her name ? @MongerNoLonger

There are plenty of names that work well in both Spanish and English, so I'd seriously consider changing to one of those. Life is too short to spend it correcting people who quite reasonably don't know how to pronounce words in another language.

I have a terrible name that no one can pronounce and I truly hate it and no middle name. I just use a short version of it and really wish my parents had thought it through!

I won’t comment on whether you should change it but I can comment that people WILL avoid it.

Before marrying my British-Viet DH, I had a common first and last name, think Jane Smith. Now I am Jane VietnameseSurname, and people avoid it like the plague: in a busy waiting room, they would always have called out my first and last name, now only my first (and sometimes three ladies look round!). It’s this kind of half-hesitant, odd way they do it.

DH’s parents both had to change their forenames after a couple of years here because it was affecting a lot of things for them.

Specifically for our DD we chose to do a simple first name and a Viet middle name so she could have the option of what to use.

Could you add a middle name and have that as her backup? Or move her current first name to legal middle, but continue using it at home?