Is this a logical reason to change a baby’s name?

[MongerNoLonger]

My DH is from Spain, so we decided to give our child a name that is common in Spain. The problem is that I’ve noticed that people intentionally try to avoid saying her name. I believe it is because they’re worried that they’re going to mispronounce it or feeling self-conscious that they’re going to sound strange whilst saying it (because it doesn’t sound as natural when said with an English accent). Even friends and family will call her the baby or little one instead of saying her actual name (whereas my nephews have always been referred to as their actual names).

She’s a few months old, and I think that it would be wise to change it now (before she becomes aware of her name). I really don’t want my child to endure a lifetime of people going to great lengths to avoid saying her name. Our first names are such a core part of our identity. What are your thoughts?

I think as long as people don't diss the name - or start replacing it with another name of their choice - and give it a good go, you don't need to get too hung up on whether it's pronounced perfectly or not. I have a very common or garden English name, but many of my family are Brazilian and several friends are French and Spanish. None of them pronounce it properly, just because they find it hard not to revert to saying it the way it would sound in their language. They're not trying to be rude, I know they mean me, and it's a shame to be picky about accent when people are just being friendly/communicating normally.

Can you shorten the name/nickname to make it easier?
If you keep the full name you’re going to have to accept that non Spanish speakers are going to pronounce it differently.
You don’t know what the future will hold for her she might decide to live in Spain or Latin America.

Yes I agree. It’s happening more and more on here. It is very irritating when posters have taken the time to reply. However OP has a young baby so maybe she is dealing with some sort of baby related issue? I would implement a three day rule. No response from OP for three days the thread gets deleted by MN 😂.

Yes, that’s a fair point.
I agree re deleting the post after a certain amount of time because posters continue to post to the ether!

It's different with the names of Royalty and popes. Several languages use their version.
Pope John-Paul was le pape Jean-Paul in France and Papa Juan-Pablo in Spain.

Just keep using her name when you’re talking to her and talking about her. Anyone who calls the baby tell her the baby‘s name is Juanita or whatever. We live in a multicultural society anyone who says they can’t pronounce the name just can’t be bothered. These are in a minority a tiny minority. Maybe we’ve got a couple of your family that are making you think other people like that they’re not. Honestly, if you just keep using her name, people will hear you say it and be able to say it. What it looks written down is irrelevant atm

PS, when my mother came here from Greece my dad‘s family changed her name from a beautiful Greek name to Bland British name and made her use it but that was 70 years ago. It was cruel. when we were old enough to know we called her by her proper name . Even though your baby is tiny, don’t take her identity away from her.

@weaselyeyes , you don't need to get too hung up on whether it's pronounced perfectly or not.
It depends on the name. Most of the people you know will get yours right and the ones who don't are people you care about.
It would be different if everybody other than your family struggle with it.

@Onmytod24 , anyone who says they can’t pronounce the name just can’t be bothered. These are in a minority a tiny minority. I don't think that's true.
I can't say some names because I haven't got the vocal dexterity to get the sounds right.

I have a Spanish friend who called her daughter Raquel, she said people in the UK regularly called her Rachel 'because that's how you say it in English' 🤷🏼‍♀️. Some people are just ignorant and lazy. I also knew a Txema who was (rightly) very strict about how people pronounced his name who had fewer issues.

DD has a Scandinavian name, I was quite surprised how many people mispronounced it when she was little but I'd just correct them, it's an easy name to say in English. But when she was a tiny baby and someone did it for the first time I did have a panic about if I did the right thing. She's now a teenager and all her friends think her name is cool so I'm glad I didn't give in to my (probable baby blues induced) concerns about her name.

@MongerNoLonger don't change her name, it's a name you love and your family and friends will learn how to pronounce it.

I'm another one who has a name Spanish find difficult to pronounce. Mostly I just accepted being called a version of mine when I lived there for a few years as I couldn't be bothered correcting people all the time. IME the Spanish are just as bad as pronouncing unfamiliar names as the British.

But I did give my children names that are basically phonetic and pretty difficult to mispronounce. Although weirdly Americans seem to struggle with one of them .

It’s pretty difficult for a native English speaker to begin, as an adult, to make the full range of sounds in Arabic. This applies to other languages too in both directions.

As always, without the name its impossible to say.

people will learn

people will learn Only if they want to and if they can make the sounds in the name.

I've got Spanish parent. Girl with a Spanish name, boys with easy to pronounce in Spanish names, think Cris or Nick.
Girl experience harder as huge variation In how it's pronounced ( exists in uk) but my family, spouse get it right and then, whatever, i say it correctly when I meet someone and then go with it. I'd say go with the Spanish name, with Spanish phonetics, but not putting on a Spanish accent. Think Ee- sa-bel ( if Isabel) but if Mercedes say Mercedes in an English accent, but with the correct emphasis on the "e's, ifyswim.

My Dd has a not Spanish name, and it is pronounced by Spanish speakers phonetically using all the vowel sounds and I think it is lovely- she is a teen now and it just makes her smile. X

If it’s a name that people would have to put on an accent for that would be a bit much to expect from everyone. How do you anticipate future school teachers and classmates saying her name?

I’d probably keep the name but give her a more English alternative, or nickname as a plan B.

Also the reality is, if a school kid has to keep correcting their peers or teachers the friends are going to get fed up, and possibly perceive it as a personal criticism. Negotiating school friendships is hard enough as it is.

Tricky one... I think I can try and guess the sort of names you mean... I speak fluent Spanish and lived in Spain for a few years so I have no problems with the pronunciation, but I still feel like a bit of a tw4t saying certain names/words when I'm speaking English. (Do you say it with a Spanish accent, a fully English accent and pronunciation, or somewhere in the middle? They all sound awkward).

Legally changing her name feels a bit extreme though...

I would either give her a nickname/shortened version of her name, or give her an English middle name she can use in England.

(My husband is from another country, and his parents gave him a first name that is foreign to THAT country, so he uses his middle name most of the time, and only uses his foreign first name with close family and friends).

I think peopel should just learn to say the name and you (and the child) should accept that people will kielly say it slightly wrong of there is a sound that is hard to say.

Difficult to have an opinion without knowing the name.

My husband has a non English name, or you know, one not traditionally used in England by native English speakers, I really struggle to pronounce it, I have to really think about it and still get it wrong and it's obvious I am struggling and concentrating, mostly it's around not being able to roll my R's naturally, though I am getting better, after 20 years!

I call him by his proper name pronouncing it wrong when he annoys me, or 90% of the time he gets a nickname, which thankfully he loves and prefers me using.

So, if it really is a name her English relatives will always struggle with despite explanation and teaching, they almost certainly will end up giving her a nickname or her friends may well do. So it is up to you if you are happy with that. Depends how much you love the name and how much you are wiling to put up with. Is there an anglicised version of it?

Oh, come on. I speak two foreign languages fluently, and I have taught those languages to British people as well as teaching TEFL to foreign language speakers, and I can tell you that MANY people (I would go as far as to say most adults), all over the world, with any mother tongue, find it tricky to pronounce sounds in other languages that don't exist in their own mother tongue, unless they have had a lot of exposure to that language from a young age, have worked really hard as an adult, or have a naturally very good ear. People struggle to even hear certain sounds, if they do no exist as phonemes in their own language. As an example, most English people struggle to hear the difference between the vowel sounds in the French words "cul" and "cou" (we just hear them both as "coo"); or "quand" and "con". Meanwhile, native French and Spanish speakers often struggle with "deep" vs "dip", the vowel sound in the English "cup", and Spanish people struggle to differentiate between a j and y sound in English.

If you were blessed with a very good ear for sounds, it might do to be a bit more magnanimous about it, it is a genuine struggle for a lot of people and not just British people, and not necessarily just because they're not trying.

Does it have a rolled R in it? It’s the only Spanish sound that is hard for English speakers to pronounce. I had a friend called Reyes and the R is often lightly rolled, so Brits were scared to give it a go.

Names like Luz should be fine - there are no sounds in there that are difficult for an EFL to pronounce. You just need to know that Z = “th” and you’re good to go.

No hun that’s not how it works. Certain letters in other languages, are never going to be pronounced effectively or effortlessly as a native speaker especially those which letters are rolled or come from the back of the throat-none of which we have in the English language. I have a broad northern accent, not a delicate soft Arabic one. I was tired of them focusing on how I was pronouncing it when I was trying, not that I was showing up and helping how ever I could. So I just gave her a nickname instead so it wasn’t a source of contention. OP others have already said this and this is why.

@Greengage1983 , hear, hear. I suspect that @BoredZelda has no idea about the different sounds in Arabic.

MANY people ... with any mother tongue, find it tricky to pronounce sounds in other languages that don't exist in their own mother tongue, unless they have had a lot of exposure to that language from a young age, have worked really hard as an adult, or have a naturally very good ear.
Absolutely this.

To be fair, it's not just a British thing at all. Most people struggle to pronounce names they're not used to, all over the world. When I lived in Spain, half my British friends just got referred to by the Spanish versions of their English names, if one existed - people didn't even bother trying half the time! (Charlotte>Carlota, Hanna>Ana, Joanne > Juana).