Is this a logical reason to change a baby’s name?

[MongerNoLonger]

My DH is from Spain, so we decided to give our child a name that is common in Spain. The problem is that I’ve noticed that people intentionally try to avoid saying her name. I believe it is because they’re worried that they’re going to mispronounce it or feeling self-conscious that they’re going to sound strange whilst saying it (because it doesn’t sound as natural when said with an English accent). Even friends and family will call her the baby or little one instead of saying her actual name (whereas my nephews have always been referred to as their actual names).

She’s a few months old, and I think that it would be wise to change it now (before she becomes aware of her name). I really don’t want my child to endure a lifetime of people going to great lengths to avoid saying her name. Our first names are such a core part of our identity. What are your thoughts?

Most people can at least approximate the sound, which is usually enough. Most British people manage to have a stab at saying eg ‘Jose’ by saying it with an H instead of a J. It’s not the perfect pronunciation but most Spanish speakers would expect an English person to say it like that.

I work with a Javier and he doesn’t expect everyone to master the Spanish J sound properly. He would correct them if they pronounced it with an English J, but he’s fine with being called ‘Havier’.

@BauhausOfEliott , but Javier doesn't really sound much like Havier.
Jose gets said as Hose A.

Our baby has a name which is not uncommon in the UK, however it still tends to get pronounced two separate ways by friends and family, even though they have all heard the way we pronounce it. When she is older she can either correct people when they mispronounce her name, let it slide or, if she prefers, adopt the other pronunciation. What we would certainly not consider doing is changing a beautiful name we chose with care and love for our precious girl simply because some people can't say it correctly.
The UK is a wonderfully diverse place and the names of our children should reflect that. It would be extremely depressing if every child had to be called John or Jane in order to not give people the 'trouble' of taking a couple of seconds to actually listen and learn how to say your daughter's name correctly.
I am sure your daughter's name is lovely, please don't change it to avoid culturally insular relatives from experiencing a moment's confusion or embarrassment!

My daughter’s name is Phoebe. I was surprised when she started school that some people really struggled with it. I told her it would be fine to go by her middle name, Elizabeth. But she loves Phoebe. So, do I, of course.

Then people local to you are mispronouncing it. Róis does not make the sound ‘Roysh’ is any dialect of Irish.

It is Ro-sheen as pp said where I am in Ireland (ro pronounced like row a boat), though I believe it’s more like Rosh-een in the north.

OP, I think it depends on whether the name can be said properly in the local accent. It’s one thing for the letter combinations to be unfamiliar…eg with Róisín above the name is still easy to say once you can decode the spelling. There are other names where the sounds aren’t present in English and people just won’t be able to say them right. I think I’d change the name in the latter case.

Yes it’s such a pain having to correct my name endlessly. I got to the point that I am happy if they call me with a mispronounced name cause I cannot be bothered. For my kids, I didn’t give them english names but i chose names that Anglicised or very easy to pronounce.

Please teach these people how to pronounce her name. The literal dumbing down for the sake of English is their own language is ridiculous

Both mine have Italian names as my DP is from Italy. People always mispronounce DS2 name so we just correct them and teach them how to say it properly, it’s no big deal

Your family should learn her name or attempt to call her by it even if not quite the correct pronunciation.
I wouldn't change her name. It's as if you're admitting you've done something wrong.
It's not you it's them.

I wouldn't change it, people will get to know it. It could also just be that people often don't call young children by their name, it's usually 'little one', sweety', 'darling', 'the tiny one' etc etc.

We are a multicultural society, you just need
to teach people how to pronounce it and they’ll get there eventually.

by the way, my family all use nicknames so no one gets called their proper name at home or by the cousins/grandparents etc. but they know their name as nursery and school is the proper one.

relax, it will all work out - don’t change her name!

Give her 2 names...

It is what everyone in the non-uk country that I raise my son in does..

They have one name in the non-uk language, and then an English name.

Very normal here, kids have no problem understanding the concept and it means that in both countries they have a name that is easy to understand and say. And as parents we didn't have to compromise on either.

This is a bit annoying. It’s not setting British people up to fail. British people could just try a bit harder and not be so bloody weird about other languages.

I moved here 30 years ago with only a vaguely foreign sounding name, and quickly switched to a nickname because I got so bored and annoyed by correcting people.

This isn’t a British thing - in both France and Germany I’ve had family make fun of and mispronounce an ‘English’ name

there are some sounds that some people can’t say depending on the language they’ve been brought up speaking and no matter how hard you try it’s just not physically possible.

that doesn’t mean you should change your dds name - there’s no reason why you can’t teach your family the closest approximation they can manage. And there’s no reason not to keep it - it may become a better known name and people won’t question how to say it.

or just give her a nickname for other environments

my kids both have names that can be mispronounced as they have a silent letter. from quite a young age they were happy to correct people themselves

I second PP suggesting using her middle name, if she has one, as her name she tells me socially etc. Then you could keep her official name as that's not such an every day issue.

Oldest has an Italian name, and youngest a Cornish one- oldest’s name exists in English so we don’t have pronunciation issues but you have to spell it for people every time “two is and no y” etc.

Youngest even my mother cannot pronounce it properly despite being fairly normal as a name down here (married a Cornish man). So much is down to accent and familiarity.

I wouldn’t change either name, but can’t judge the OP’s example without hearing it sadly.

I think if this is bothering you, you should make the change now before she is aware. Maybe she could have the Spanish name as a middle name? What does DH think?

Change it. None of the people saying “don’t change it” are thinking about the child and what they will experience growing up with a name that nobody knows how to say and will likely say wrong. Keep it as a middle name if you must but give her a name that is nice and easy to pronounce.
I honestly think that people who name their kids ridiculous things (and I’m not including the OP here btw) should instead change their own name to it and see if they like it.

Surely in a few years she’ll be able to say her name herself so it won’t be a problem then?
If people are struggling now it will always be a problem. She will have to correct then instead of the op as she gets older.

Exactly. She will start to dread introducing herself or any situation where she needs to say her name. It’s entirely different if you move to a new country as an adult because you already have your identity as an English person (or whatever) and having a name from your own culture is fine. But this girl will undoubtedly identify as English if she grows up here because kids just want to belong (even if they later embrace their mixed heritage as a teen or young adult) and by giving her a foreign and difficult to pronounce name, you’re consigning her to feeling different.

There are many many Spanish names that are also commonly used in English, why didn’t you pick one of those? I suspect you’re just a bit sensitive to it so you’re noticing more but many people do call children ‘little one’ or ‘poppet’ instead of their name, maybe you’re just sensitive to it because you having second thoughts about the name?

Teach them or ask if they need help to pronounce it.
Maybe the little one etc name is because thats what some people call young babies.
I often will google pronouncation for some names.
Im forever being told i miss pronounce our countries cultural names...people are quick to claim its racist which piss me off...nah im not.

Don’t change her name but find a shortening /nickname that sounds English and you like that can be used instead.

some names just cannot be said properly by other nationalities and it can make it awkward to use the name

Really depends on the name. If you can give it then you’ll get more honest feedback. I had a French friend name her baby katja. Some people said it correctly but said it wrong. She ended up changing it to a phonetically spelt version.