Is this a logical reason to change a baby’s name?

[MongerNoLonger]

My DH is from Spain, so we decided to give our child a name that is common in Spain. The problem is that I’ve noticed that people intentionally try to avoid saying her name. I believe it is because they’re worried that they’re going to mispronounce it or feeling self-conscious that they’re going to sound strange whilst saying it (because it doesn’t sound as natural when said with an English accent). Even friends and family will call her the baby or little one instead of saying her actual name (whereas my nephews have always been referred to as their actual names).

She’s a few months old, and I think that it would be wise to change it now (before she becomes aware of her name). I really don’t want my child to endure a lifetime of people going to great lengths to avoid saying her name. Our first names are such a core part of our identity. What are your thoughts?

I go by my middle name and also have a nickname, and the way I get around it is just to use full name for everything official. Then at the point I’m developing a relationship (of any kind) with people, I let them know what to call me. It works well x

Exactly. If it's your name, you get used to either your name not being used or to it being not quite right.

Can you imagine being in a situation where people use everybody else's first name but not yours or being called Lakey when your name is Lleucu?

(Lleucu is a lovely name but has at least 2 sounds you don't get in English and probably looks impossible if you've not seen it before).

so my name is Joanne. The majority of people in my life call me Jo, although I occasionally get Jolene, Jojo. My grandad calls me Bee cos when I was little he used to say I was the queen the Bee of the family!! Bossy basically. I grow up my whole life knowing that official and on anything official- school work, exams, passport driving licence that would say Joanne. I introduce myself as Joanne and then say but everyone calls me Jo!
i thought that would just be the norm

Personally I’d change it if it’s causing issues and is already giving you doubts, or I’d definitely give her an easier to pronounce nickname if it works.

My children were born in an Arabic speaking country with a mix of nationalities and we had the strangest combinations of very easy to pronounce English names. One was given a shortened version by the majority outside the English speaking population that he hated, and another ended up with his name sounding really quite unpleasant in that language. They all went to an English speaking school with a lot of westerners who obviously had no issues at all, and the long term plan was always to return to the UK, but I would have definitely reconsidered if the situation had been different for their sakes.

@musicandmen , I don't think that's the norm.

Eh? So you believe that 'better' sources make up their own alternative versions of people's names, whilst the downmarket ones respectfully use their actual names?!

How on earth did you infer that?

I think it's completely different when you live in your country/community/culture where the name is familiar and makes sense, and you're helping 'outsiders'; but for people who have moved before their child is born and live somewhere else where nobody will know or be able to pronounce the name, it's not doing the child a kindness.

Who wants to feel they have to 'educate' or patronise people and give them pronunciation lessons and memory tips every time they meet a new person? Or even when it's somebody they know well, but who still can't fathom their name?

The truth is that, unless it's very close family or friends, most people will humour you, but they won't go to the trouble of learning to pronounce it - either because they just don't care (it's your name, not theirs) or because they don't see it as their problem that you have and use/insist on a name that isn't really designed to serve an instantly recognisable function as a name in your own culture/country. You can either constantly get angry about how people 'should' react to your/your parents' choice of name or just accept they way that they actually do.

Because the reply suggested I was looking at the wrong reading material. I said that convention in Spain seems to be to use the Spanish version of a name. You said oh that’s just Royals. I pointed out that in this country we use the actual name, not the anglicised version. Your response was just that that I was reading the wrong thing and that you weren’t wrong.

@Glowingup , you misinterpreted.

From the PP who said that the Daily Mail (which you clearly and not unreasonably suggested was a downmarket publication) used the correct name; whereas the other countries' use their own versions.

Or were you suggesting that the DM is downmarket, but the Spanish equivalents are far more downmarket? I'm not very familiar with Spanish - so do the better-quality Spanish publications use the people's actual names, then, rather than their own versions?

I presume you aren't suggesting that British people tend to be instinctively better with foreign languages than the other way around?!!

I don't get angry. We have lots of friends and family who live outside of Wales who aren't familiar with the names or language, that's why I posted.

What tabloid gossip pages call foreign royalty isn't worthy of such scrutiny.

I’ve said the same, my name is Joanne, I will say my name is Joanne but most people call me Jo. There isn’t many Christopher’s being called Chris. Or Elizabeth’s not being shortened to Liz or any other variation of the name!!

@musicandmen , Not sure what your point is or the relevance of your post.

The suggestions put to OP are more like 'call Juanita Jo so it's easier for others'

In my experience that is normal too.

My grandchildren with Spanish names live in the UK. It has never been an issue because no one has ever made it an issue. Other children, teachers etc just use their names and accept them for who they are.
They have never had any problems fitting in because of their names.
Also if you look down the register in any classroom now there will be such a huge variety of names from many different cultures a Spanish name isn't an issue.

If you like the name I wouldn’t change it. My DD has a name that you can add an extra letter to and it’s basically a boys name - she gets called it all the time and she/we just correct people. I would help your family learn the name rather than change it!

Depends on what the name is doesn’t it. Luca, Elena, Ana, Sofia etc not an issue and they are commonly used in the UK. Xiomara perhaps less so. I also wouldn’t name a boy Jesus or let a child of mine go through the British education system being called that due to the high chances of bullying.

And it also depends where you live because huge swathes of the country are not multicultural in the slightest and you will not see names from all over the world in the classroom.

I work with a Lucia. Half the office calls her Lu-chia and half Lu-see-ah. I don't know if it bothers her.

I'm in the process of changing my name because I'm sick of having to spell it out and having it mispronounced. Just need to get two witnesses in the same room.

And even if it is multicultural, it's not always obvious which language the name is from, especially if the name is new to you.

It depends on the child too, I went through school as a shy, quiet kid who hated when people got my name wrong (and they do, often, think Lauren not Laura) I felt it was really disrespectful, and it really grates when it’s the same people over and over again, but someone who’s a bit more easy going and confident could probably just brush off the wrong name and not care about it. For my children’s names I made sure to pick names that can’t be spelled in different ways or have similar names they could get muddled up with.

I'd say I'm confident and easy going, but spending a lifetime spelling your name (usually twice because they never get it first time) has got to me. I envy Sue Smith 😀

Why so aggressive and accusatory toward OP? I'm sorry, but it is painfully obvious when someone is trying to avoid saying a certain name. This is true even when the people that are doing it don't realise how evident it is to everyone else. I don't think this is something that exists only in OP's imagination. Parents have the right to change a child's name until the child can speak for themselves (which is why there are so many threads about name regret and changes on MN). If they feel like a name is more complicated than they originally thought it would be, then they can do that.

Also, shouldn't both parents' opinions and both of their heritages matter? The child (presumably) already has the father's surname. You're making it seem as if only he and his background/identity should be represented in the child's entire name. There should really be a compromise.