Is this a logical reason to change a baby’s name?

[MongerNoLonger]

My DH is from Spain, so we decided to give our child a name that is common in Spain. The problem is that I’ve noticed that people intentionally try to avoid saying her name. I believe it is because they’re worried that they’re going to mispronounce it or feeling self-conscious that they’re going to sound strange whilst saying it (because it doesn’t sound as natural when said with an English accent). Even friends and family will call her the baby or little one instead of saying her actual name (whereas my nephews have always been referred to as their actual names).

She’s a few months old, and I think that it would be wise to change it now (before she becomes aware of her name). I really don’t want my child to endure a lifetime of people going to great lengths to avoid saying her name. Our first names are such a core part of our identity. What are your thoughts?

I'll admit that I've definitely deliberately avoided saying a tough name before to avoid offending. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've always felt like that's more thoughtful and polite than horribly mispronouncing someone's name. This will probably continue into adulthood if you keep her current name.

If you're saying this now, yes do it. You are already feeling regretful, and changing it at this age will be easy and not affect her.

It’s Manuela. When we were considering names before she was born, we thought it would be more simple than our other favourites. The reaction has made us think that it’s not.

I love Manuela. It’s a gorgeous name.

They can't say Manuela?! It's not exactly tricky - Manwell-ah

I used to have a lovely neighbour with the name.

It may well have nothing whatsoever to do with her name, whether it be Spanish or British (assuming you are British) or whatever. My mum calls my youngest ‘our baby’ as in ‘what’s our baby doing today?’or ‘where is our baby whilst you’re taking on the phone?’ and he’s now 14yo.

I had a friend at school with this name! She was Italian though, so not sure if there’s a difference in pronunciation. We used to call her Man U Wella. (Or may be more Man U Ella). She never said anything so I’ve no idea if that was right or wrong. Are you pronouncing it Man Wella?

Ok I change my response now I know the name. That’s not hard at all, lovely name, and even a slightly rubbish English pronunciation attempt couldn’t really spoil it. I assumed it was full of specific Spanish pronunciations or letters that didn’t make the name readable for the majority.

Lovely name 💕 definitely not difficult to say

Im familiar with the name as I live in Spain and think its lovely. I have cousins with very Scottish names and that's hard to pronounce or spell but they are lovely and individual and interestingly have chosen similarly styled names for their children so have held no grudges for spelling repeatedly or having to correct pronunciations. I say enjoy having a unique name

That’s surprised me. I thought it would be something like “Luz”, which even I, speaking fluent Spanish, would struggle to know how to pronounce when speaking English without sounding silly.

How are you finding people pronounce it? I would’ve imagined some people might say “man-you-ella” (and even that isn’t the end of the world), but if corrected, it wouldn’t be hard for an English speaker to pronounce. There are no tricky sounds, and most people know of Manuel the waiter from faulty towers, so it’s just that with an “a” on the end…? That’s changed my mind, I think I would not change her name for that. If anyone does really struggle though, you could tell them to call her Ella instead though…

@MongerNoLonger , DSis and DBIL took weeks to name their DG2 so we'd been calling him 'the baby'. Once they had decided on a name DBIL said 'He's got a name now, so please call him Harry not "the baby"'. so we did.

Do the same, and use the name a lot yourself. Don't say she, her, little one, honey, baby etc

(not the real name - might be outing )

How are people pronouncing it OP? I too am surprised people can't say it.

They are either thick or have a strong regional accent which makes it sound odd? 🤷‍♀️

Definitely don't change Manuela, that's family and friends just being lazy about using her name. It'll come with time and you're just questioning yourself because your hormones go crazy after birth. It's a lovely name that works in both languages.

You’ve said that nicknames cause confusion and I am pointing out that using nicknames/shortened version of a name is the completely normal. You are purposely being obtuse

Exdh is Greek and our eldest dc were born in Greece where we planned to stay. We didn't so dc have had struggles with their names and dm still can pronounce them (though I chose them because I thought they were relatively easy to pronounce).
Anyway dd1 has a dd and she has given her a greek name which is becoming quite popular in the UK. She decided not to use the Greek pronunciation through exdh uses it. It was also decided that as its a very long name they would use a shortened version which is lovely and totally suits her. Dm insists on calling her a tortured version of her full name instead of using the very easy to pronounce and universally used shortened name.

Poor ds struggled through school with everyone mispronouncing his name but he really likes it. I have always called him an anglicised shortened version of it (this was agreed before he was born as exdh insisted ds was named after his father). All his school friends knew him by his proper name but now he works he has put his shortened 'English' name on his name badge. He said they all called him that even when he told them his real name and it just made things less awkward.

Now that you've said it's Manuela (lovely name btw), are you sure it's pronunciation that's the issue, and not the Fawlty Towers connection? That's obviously a much more relevant association for the older generation than for your little one (I expect her generation will have no idea) but I can see they might feel it's harder for it to fit a teeny little baby when it's definitely to my mind (I am a grandparental sort of age) quite a grown up name. And the obvious nickname for a Brit (probably not in Spain!) would be Manny which also is a bit controversial for a little girl (although also cute!). I wouldn't change it OP if you love it but maybe if you have a preferred diminutive (manu? Lolo? Lulu?) you could start using that around her British family to help them feel more confident saying it?

I thought it was going to be something Basque which might have been more of a challenge. I don't think it's going to cause her too many problems in life. Sometimes people take a while to get used to a name.

Looking at the name I wouldn’t know how to pronounce it straight away. But once I heard it once I would be absolutely fine.
probably not the opinion you want but maybe they just don’t like the name?

I did not say that. I said that if you go by two names it can cause problems

Say I was called Catherine Smith but many people know me as Kate Smith, I effectively have two names.
I have documents in both names, which is fine unless they need to match exactly.
If Dad always called me Princess then that doesn't affect anything.

But your official documents, psssport, driving licence, degree certificate bank statements etc would be in your full legal name. So unless you have purposely not used your proper name on documents then you’ve caused your own issues

OP has posted the name I have googled the pronunciation it’s said differently in Spanish than English but it’s not difficult to say in either. it’s pretty much not far from being phonetic and is much easier than Irish names to figure out

@musicandmen , The documents you mentioned are in my full name. Some other documents aren't. They are not ones I drafted.
I was talking to an old friend who's known me for decades and she had no idea my name was short for something else.
The short name is a standalone name and you wouldn't think it was short for something else.

It's something like Emma full name Emmanuelle.

Since the OP said what the name is, this has been my thought too. They are not struggling with pronunciation, more likely they just feel awkward using the name.

Sorry if I wasn't clear - I wasn't suggesting that you were one of those people. It's perfectly reasonable to be Welsh, live in Wales and give your child a name that won't cause any difficulties in the community where they live and grow up. You can never legislate for language difficulties or confusion on the part of other people who don't live in or come from that community.

We gave our DS a Welsh name which was very significant to us - not one that makes non Welsh-speakers look terrified(!), but one that almost everybody pronounces wrongly, or assumes that you mean the much more common English variant and just says that; but we knew we would be living in England, so we gave it to him as a middle name. If we'd stayed living in Wales, he would very likely have had it as his first name.