AIBU to think DH overreacted to a bedtime joke?

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DH was out this evening at a meeting. I let the children stay up late - 15 mins past their bedtime watching a film. Let’s face it, we’re so close to the end of term, they are early secondary school and are very good kids tbh so it didn’t feel like a biggie (to me).

When DH arrived home, I thought it would be funny for them to comically scamper upstairs (in full view), then come down again pretending he had woken them up (with OTT yawning). It was very clearly lighthearted. It was entirely my idea.

DH did not find it funny AT ALL and berated the children. I held my hands up (literally, immediately) and said I was sorry, it was all my idea: I had encouraged them and thought it would make him laugh …but he was still exceptionally pissed off and continued to tell them off. Both children went to bed pretty upset.

Wtaf? Hand on heart, I kept saying it was my fault and he mustn’t blame the kids. He is enraged with all of us. I am so confused.

OP correct me if Im wrong but I bet your kids are not particularly sensitive but your H needs an ordered house, kids in bed and stuff by a set time and not bothering him.

When DH arrived home, I thought it would be funny for them to comically scamper upstairs (in full view), then come down again pretending he had woken them up (with OTT yawning). It was very clearly lighthearted. It was entirely my idea.
I honestly don’t get it. By the “in full view” re the scampering upstairs do you mean, he came home, they ran upstairs while he saw, then came down to make it look like his coming home had woken them?
why is that funny?

I think your husband has behaved appallingly, especially after you explained it was your idea. There's NO excuse to keep going on at the kids after that.

I'm surprised by all the posts on here making excuses for his terrible behaviour. While he may have had a crap day at work, all we know is that he was at a meeting. It could have been a hobby meeting for all we know, and he'd been off out having fun. Or it might have been a stressful as heck work meeting, but that STILL doesn't excuse going on and on at your kids and ruining their day too, when what they did wasn't even their idea.

Disagree, I’ve enforced this bedtime for my secondary aged DC till 16. They need their rest, they wake at 6 to get ready for school so it’s 9 hours sleep which is about right.

Anyway OP the joke isn’t really that funny. I bet he was feeling tired and cranky so didn’t really feel like joking.

What a fun sponge!!

To the poster that asked if I’m a SAHM. No I’m not. But equally absolutely no shade on anyone on here who is a SAHM. Not sure why you used the term SAHM as an insult tbh.

Totally accept posters who just don’t think it was funny. Fair enough. We regularly as a family do lighthearted stuff like this, so it’s not unusual for us. Only that morning DH and the kids ‘hid’ when I came downstairs. One with a tea towel on their head, the other hiding behind a plate. That sort of thing.

Meeting wasn’t a work meeting. DH never works late. The kids are good kids. DH was just in a foul mood.

Fun sponge indeed!

To be honest, unless this is a regular pattern you need to sit down with your DH and try to understand what is bothering him. Just because the meeting was not work doesn’t mean it can’t have been stressful.

And let your poor kids stay up a bit later!

He sounds miserable

I think some folks just want to have a go. It’s really concerning there are so many pissed off angry people around they’d pick any opportunity.

op, funny or not is irrelevant, your husband was well out of line berating the kids and upsetting them. He needs to apologise.

Is he not allowed to have a bad day OP?
Unless this is the norm, and he's dragged it on for days, don't see how it needed posting about.

We all have bad days, if he's usually a good husband/dad, then let it go.

Sorry you feel you’ve had to justify your fun! You were goofing around which is lovely. Creating a fun and whimsical family atmosphere. Brilliant.

He was totally out of order and should apologise to the children if he wants to set a good example.

If he does this kind of thing regularly then that needs seriously looking at. That is damaging to children.

Bad day is fine.
grumpiness is ok.
Nit finding something funny is ok.

Berating children to the point that they are upset is not ok.

My line in the sand was always that, if you're in a mood, you just don't take it out on the children. If DH was clearly in a mood I would generally work on the basis of trying to leave him alone till he got out of it, but once or twice when he did start shouting at the children when they'd done nothing I stood up to him and made it very clear that I simply wasn't having it. Since in general I'm not confrontational, I think it shocked him into realising I absolutely meant it and he withdrew very quickly.

If your husband doesn't apologise off his own bat, I would suggest having a serious conversation with him about this.

Where did I say yell? Or berate as a PP said I said be grouchy or grumpy. Like let me get in the door ant breathe for 5 mins before a load of silliness in my face

He sounds like a bit of a twat. Any good points? Any apology yet? Bad day for him (still no excuse to berate the kids - what a dickhead)

That's why I asked OP if he's
usually a good dad.
OP: "We regularly as a family do lighthearted stuff like this, so it’s not unusual for us."
So, he partakes too and is usually fun. This reaction would then mean there's more going on with him which OP should try and understand.
OP: "DH was just in a foul mood."
Again, seems like a one off.
Kids maybe upset,biut they're not babies, they'll still know he loves them and just wasn't himself on this rare occasion.

Are kids never meant to be upset?

Are people really living in homes where both parents are always happy and jovial, where no one makes a mistake and it's all kumbaya?

Speak to him and ask him about it this morning and report back, please

Is he usually quite strict about their bedtime and are you usually more lax?

Had you had a previous specific discussion about their bedtime or one recently?

Why start a thread in AIBU if you're going to question the votes?

Miserable bugger
What was his mood about before he decides to take it out on his family over a minor thing you chose to let them stay up late.

Its like the old days of when Dad came home shitty and tea had to be on the table.

He didn’t expect or want to see them at the end of a tiring day and was completely thrown by the prank. He found it annoying.
That’s not a justification for his moody, reactive behaviour!
YANBU.

Yeah, YANBU. He took his foul mood out on his DCs even after being specifically told that it wasn’t their fault, or idea. That makes him a dick. I’m on my own with my kids, no husband, no family, and I often work 14-16hr days in a really confronting and sometimes traumatising role - when I walk in the door, the kids sometimes run at me with music on dancing like loons for a laugh, or leap out from behind something - I am regularly not in the mood for it, but I need to use my words like a grown up and tell them that I’ve had a really long hard day, and can I just have 15 minutes of quiet. I can’t imagine yelling at them because they’re trying to raise a giggle from me.

You need to talk to your “D”H, and tell him that it was really unacceptable of him to berate the kids, and he needs to apologise to them.

We're a silly household but if DP was coming home from work after 9pm I wouldn't choose that moment for a prank. I would assume he would be tired, possibly stressed and needing to unwind. Like others I also don't entirely get what's funny about the children pretending to go upstairs to bed then pretending to be awoken and coming back downstairs, both in full sight of DH, but maybe I'm missing something.

I can't imagine being very receptive to this "joke" after a long day at work, however, "exceptionally pissed off" and "enraged" are extreme responses and suggest there's more to this than just not seeing the funny side.

Because your "joke" was weird, pointless and not funny.

How would that justify her husband's behaviour?