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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hen Do Nightmares! WHY WHY WHY

175 replies

MaeWestNeverForgets · 05/07/2026 12:28

Sorry, this is more just a vent, but I'm organising a Hen do for a good friend, but, quelle surprise, the whole thing has become a quagmire of merd, and I'm not sure I've got the boots for it.
The Bride to be has decided to theme the whole thing around the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and we all have to go dressed as characters. Straight-away there were issues with three people wanting to be Black Widow. I've tried to steer people towards other characters; otherwise, at best, it'll just look like a bunch of bad Scarlett Johannsen impersonators have shoehorned themselves into faux leather pants and at worst that people will think three of Wagner's Rhinemaidens have turned up for a BDSM party...I tried to gently, but in a lighthearted way to suggest that one of the girls, given her haircut and build ( And I'm not judging) could go as The Hulk, but this didn't go down well. I secretly think she may believe I was making a snide comment about the time she came to a picnic wearing ripped trousers....anyway....I spoke to the B2B and explained I was frustrated and that I had a good mind to go dressed as Bane, ( And do the voice all night) well, she burst into tears and accused me of trying to sabotage the whole thing whilst shouting 'You know that BANE is DC not Marvel. Anyway she calmed down and I've compromised and am going as Thanos. It's just such a headache, she thinks I can just snap my fingers and it'll happen ( Which, ironically if I was Thanos I could do....' Then there's the venue....nothing too small..so the Paris catacombs are out, nothing to big and impersonal, so ditto the deconsecrated power station. One of the girls has a phobia of boats, so HMS Belfast is off the list. Why do these things have to be so complicated? For my Hen Do, we had a simple chicken dinner and an evening watching Sumo Wrestling in Edinburgh. Everyone had a great time and got a lovely gift bag with some Japanese shortbread and a pair of balls. Anyway rant over....But AIBU? Or is it time to really pare back Hen do's?

OP posts:
MaCheCazzo · 05/07/2026 16:04

MaeWestNeverForgets · 05/07/2026 15:45

Ooohhhh you sound like a charmer. 😂I can assure you I'm having a lovely day. Thanks for the thoughts pumpkin.... Hope the rash clears up.

I was not addressing you as you would know if you were even slightly more self-aware. And work on your 'insults' because that wasn't one. 🙄

TheTortiePuffinNeedsHerBreakfast · 05/07/2026 16:06

.I tried to gently, but in a lighthearted way to suggest that one of the girls, given her haircut and build ( And I'm not judging) could go as The Hulk

Anyone else hearing this in the voice of Rob Brydon?!🤣

Delphiniumandlupins · 05/07/2026 16:30

Where did you find sumo wrestling in Edinburgh?

I saw a hen do last week and they were obviously doing a scavenger hunt thingy - bride barrelled out of a pub to get a selfie with a bald guy, followed by her mate who snapped herself with our bus driver (someone in uniform). Would your bride like that?

MadeInGrimsby · 05/07/2026 16:31

TheTortiePuffinNeedsHerBreakfast · 05/07/2026 16:06

.I tried to gently, but in a lighthearted way to suggest that one of the girls, given her haircut and build ( And I'm not judging) could go as The Hulk

Anyone else hearing this in the voice of Rob Brydon?!🤣

I was thinking more Lee Mack!

MurunBuchstansangursCousinRossiter · 05/07/2026 16:39

I mean this is clearly bollocks but you do write well 😁

OonaStubbs · 05/07/2026 16:44

What will happen if one of the "hens" goes as Wonder Woman or Catwoman or Harley Quinn? Will they be sent home as they are a DC character?

Vinvertebrate · 05/07/2026 16:52

I howled at “Japanese shortbread and a pair of balls” 🤣🤣

paradisecircus · 05/07/2026 16:55
  1. This is mad
  2. Let people come as what they want; it doesn't matter if you have three the same
  3. I love the phrase 'quagmire of merd'
Pearlstillsinging · 05/07/2026 16:56

Whatever happened to going out for a last drink as a single woman?

MaeWestNeverForgets · 05/07/2026 16:58

Vinvertebrate · 05/07/2026 16:52

I howled at “Japanese shortbread and a pair of balls” 🤣🤣

Yes, it leaves so much to the imagination.....

OP posts:
BeanQuisine · 05/07/2026 17:02

HEN DON'T is my philosophy.

Zippidydoodah · 05/07/2026 17:09

You need to write a novel!

LasagneGoblin · 05/07/2026 17:12

God what absolute killjoys. I mean there's tonnes of other female characters they can go as: Princess Leia, Seven of Nine; your large friend could be Big Barda.

salcombebabe · 05/07/2026 17:14

A friend and I were out for coffee this afternoon and both agreed that hen do's these days have gone too far. People don't have the money to waste nowadays! As for themes etc....🤦‍♀️ What happened to going out for a meal and drinks with your favourite people?

TankFlyBossW4lk · 05/07/2026 17:15

Hilarious OP. You made me laugh out loud. ....

SilverPink · 05/07/2026 17:17

MaeWestNeverForgets · 05/07/2026 14:01

Oh God, I've just seen my mistake....it should have read Chinese Stress Balls....good lordy.....

I prefer the first version 😂

MadeInGrimsby · 05/07/2026 17:19

salcombebabe · 05/07/2026 17:14

A friend and I were out for coffee this afternoon and both agreed that hen do's these days have gone too far. People don't have the money to waste nowadays! As for themes etc....🤦‍♀️ What happened to going out for a meal and drinks with your favourite people?

They do have money to waste, though. Massive Hen dos, "Be My Bridesmaid" boxes, loads of bridesmaids all getting makeup done by a professional, huge events...
Most of this was unheard of for the average bride even 20 years ago.

PeachySmile2 · 05/07/2026 17:19

This is the most pathetic thing I’ve ever read. I’ve tell the bride she can organise if she’s that bothered

KidsDoBetter · 05/07/2026 17:22

Honestly people need to stop indulging this shit. As either a hen or a maid of honour. Ffs.

FoodieFoodFood · 05/07/2026 17:24

My nightmare is anything Marvel so my God I’m sorry 😂

BringBackCatsEyes · 05/07/2026 17:27

I tried to gently, but in a lighthearted way to suggest that one of the girls, given her haircut and build ( And I'm not judging) could go as The Hulk, but this didn't go down well.

Really? I can't imagine why someone suggesting their build and haircut makes them look like The Hulk would not be met with anything other than feeling of warm love.

Jibbetyflib · 05/07/2026 17:28

You sound insufferable.

ParsonMaybold · 05/07/2026 17:29

I read no further than ‘The Bride to be has decided to theme the whole thing around the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and we all have to go dressed as characters.’

Then I threw up and I’m currently looking into suicide options.

Intrigued20 · 05/07/2026 17:30

MaeWestNeverForgets · 05/07/2026 12:28

Sorry, this is more just a vent, but I'm organising a Hen do for a good friend, but, quelle surprise, the whole thing has become a quagmire of merd, and I'm not sure I've got the boots for it.
The Bride to be has decided to theme the whole thing around the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and we all have to go dressed as characters. Straight-away there were issues with three people wanting to be Black Widow. I've tried to steer people towards other characters; otherwise, at best, it'll just look like a bunch of bad Scarlett Johannsen impersonators have shoehorned themselves into faux leather pants and at worst that people will think three of Wagner's Rhinemaidens have turned up for a BDSM party...I tried to gently, but in a lighthearted way to suggest that one of the girls, given her haircut and build ( And I'm not judging) could go as The Hulk, but this didn't go down well. I secretly think she may believe I was making a snide comment about the time she came to a picnic wearing ripped trousers....anyway....I spoke to the B2B and explained I was frustrated and that I had a good mind to go dressed as Bane, ( And do the voice all night) well, she burst into tears and accused me of trying to sabotage the whole thing whilst shouting 'You know that BANE is DC not Marvel. Anyway she calmed down and I've compromised and am going as Thanos. It's just such a headache, she thinks I can just snap my fingers and it'll happen ( Which, ironically if I was Thanos I could do....' Then there's the venue....nothing too small..so the Paris catacombs are out, nothing to big and impersonal, so ditto the deconsecrated power station. One of the girls has a phobia of boats, so HMS Belfast is off the list. Why do these things have to be so complicated? For my Hen Do, we had a simple chicken dinner and an evening watching Sumo Wrestling in Edinburgh. Everyone had a great time and got a lovely gift bag with some Japanese shortbread and a pair of balls. Anyway rant over....But AIBU? Or is it time to really pare back Hen do's?

You should be a writer, fiction that is. You have a way with words. Really funny.

OriginalUsername2 · 05/07/2026 17:32

CountryMouse22 · 05/07/2026 15:27

And Carrie Comma and Simon Semi-Colon!

And Rachel Readability