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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hen Do Nightmares! WHY WHY WHY

175 replies

MaeWestNeverForgets · 05/07/2026 12:28

Sorry, this is more just a vent, but I'm organising a Hen do for a good friend, but, quelle surprise, the whole thing has become a quagmire of merd, and I'm not sure I've got the boots for it.
The Bride to be has decided to theme the whole thing around the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and we all have to go dressed as characters. Straight-away there were issues with three people wanting to be Black Widow. I've tried to steer people towards other characters; otherwise, at best, it'll just look like a bunch of bad Scarlett Johannsen impersonators have shoehorned themselves into faux leather pants and at worst that people will think three of Wagner's Rhinemaidens have turned up for a BDSM party...I tried to gently, but in a lighthearted way to suggest that one of the girls, given her haircut and build ( And I'm not judging) could go as The Hulk, but this didn't go down well. I secretly think she may believe I was making a snide comment about the time she came to a picnic wearing ripped trousers....anyway....I spoke to the B2B and explained I was frustrated and that I had a good mind to go dressed as Bane, ( And do the voice all night) well, she burst into tears and accused me of trying to sabotage the whole thing whilst shouting 'You know that BANE is DC not Marvel. Anyway she calmed down and I've compromised and am going as Thanos. It's just such a headache, she thinks I can just snap my fingers and it'll happen ( Which, ironically if I was Thanos I could do....' Then there's the venue....nothing too small..so the Paris catacombs are out, nothing to big and impersonal, so ditto the deconsecrated power station. One of the girls has a phobia of boats, so HMS Belfast is off the list. Why do these things have to be so complicated? For my Hen Do, we had a simple chicken dinner and an evening watching Sumo Wrestling in Edinburgh. Everyone had a great time and got a lovely gift bag with some Japanese shortbread and a pair of balls. Anyway rant over....But AIBU? Or is it time to really pare back Hen do's?

OP posts:
6ate9 · 05/07/2026 12:31

Sounds an absolute nightmare!! I would refuse to organise it (and probably wouldn’t go either!!!)

mondaytosunday · 05/07/2026 12:33

This doesn’t sound real. Hen dos should be banned though.

BravasPatatas · 05/07/2026 12:34

Actually laughing out loud that people are taking this seriously 😁

PurpleEmerald · 05/07/2026 12:35

You suggested one of the hens should go as The Hulk? 🤔 Sure….

Mistymaglets · 05/07/2026 12:36

I don't think there are enough Sumo themed Hen Nights to be honest.

lanzinis · 05/07/2026 12:36

Are you me? I could've posted the exact same thing. In the end I couldn't abandon my principles and came as Bane anyway, complete with well. Bride never spoke to me again but I'm proud of being true to myself.

ExtraOnions · 05/07/2026 12:37

Let people wear what they want, organising the party doesn’t mean organising everyone’s choices.

You are making more work for yourself

squirrelchops2 · 05/07/2026 12:42

Brilliant! You've unwittingly given me a plethora of ideas for my own hen do

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 05/07/2026 12:43

She’s not a young child so why the marvel costumes?! I’d refuse to pander to such nonsense.

Worst hen I had a few years ago in Brighton (yes I know) was pink and sparkles. Luckily any shade of pink was ok. We had t shirts with our names on. One of the girl’s names was spelled wrong Susannah rather than Susanna. She made a real stink about it but it was too late to get them reprinted. Luckily she laughed it off on the day after a few cocktails and shots. The girl organising it had extra pink sequinned scarves and pink glitter and pink feather boas for anyone who forgot (on purpose?).

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 05/07/2026 12:50

Years ago back in the early 00s one girl (this was unusual back then) had her hen in Ibiza. We were all clubbers. Luckily there was no theme as such just L plates and Ann summers fun things. The boys went to Amsterdam.

Monty36 · 05/07/2026 12:52

Insane. When the party becomes more of a thing than the actual impending marriage.

SockPlant · 05/07/2026 12:54

you sound mean, and what is the issue with people going as the Black Widow? there are so bloody few women in the MCU there is bound to be overlap

Suggesting someone should go as the hulk? what are you going as?

TheIdlerReturns · 05/07/2026 12:57

Ha, ha, ha, ha! Brilliant post due to its batshitiness. You asked someone to go as THE HULK? Please be careful she doesn't turn green.

tartyflette · 05/07/2026 13:00

You lost me at The Hulk.

DameOfThrones · 05/07/2026 13:02

Sounds like some people are pretty bored.

SNESRainbowRoad · 05/07/2026 13:02

If Hulk girl finds it’s not easy being green she could always go to the imaginary party as Gamora…
🤭

MrSchubertWhiskers · 05/07/2026 13:10

...I tried to gently, but in a lighthearted way to suggest that one of the girls, given her haircut and build ( And I'm not judging) could go as The Hulk

Wow.

fetchacloth · 05/07/2026 13:12

Sounds like a Sherlock show OP. No way would I want to be responsible for organising this or participating.

UpDownAllAround1 · 05/07/2026 13:18

For something that was made up, that was funny

BravasPatatas · 05/07/2026 13:20

MrSchubertWhiskers · 05/07/2026 13:10

...I tried to gently, but in a lighthearted way to suggest that one of the girls, given her haircut and build ( And I'm not judging) could go as The Hulk

Wow.

Oh come on… you’re not genuinely reading this and thinking it’s a serious post are you? It’s a joke.

AgnesMcDoo · 05/07/2026 13:20

Gawd sounds hideous

Flamingcoming · 05/07/2026 13:21

This just sounds deranged.

Loulou4022 · 05/07/2026 13:23

This sounds like an awful nightmare! These hen do expectations are getting ridiculous! I had afternoon tea with my bridesmaids and a meal out with my work colleagues!

rainbowstardrops · 05/07/2026 13:29

Hahaha! I know this is made up but it gave me a little chuckle.
I’m a bit bored too @MaeWestNeverForgets

canuckup · 05/07/2026 13:34

This has echoes of Snapped and Farted

Very funny: Hulk 😂

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