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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hen Do Nightmares! WHY WHY WHY

175 replies

MaeWestNeverForgets · 05/07/2026 12:28

Sorry, this is more just a vent, but I'm organising a Hen do for a good friend, but, quelle surprise, the whole thing has become a quagmire of merd, and I'm not sure I've got the boots for it.
The Bride to be has decided to theme the whole thing around the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and we all have to go dressed as characters. Straight-away there were issues with three people wanting to be Black Widow. I've tried to steer people towards other characters; otherwise, at best, it'll just look like a bunch of bad Scarlett Johannsen impersonators have shoehorned themselves into faux leather pants and at worst that people will think three of Wagner's Rhinemaidens have turned up for a BDSM party...I tried to gently, but in a lighthearted way to suggest that one of the girls, given her haircut and build ( And I'm not judging) could go as The Hulk, but this didn't go down well. I secretly think she may believe I was making a snide comment about the time she came to a picnic wearing ripped trousers....anyway....I spoke to the B2B and explained I was frustrated and that I had a good mind to go dressed as Bane, ( And do the voice all night) well, she burst into tears and accused me of trying to sabotage the whole thing whilst shouting 'You know that BANE is DC not Marvel. Anyway she calmed down and I've compromised and am going as Thanos. It's just such a headache, she thinks I can just snap my fingers and it'll happen ( Which, ironically if I was Thanos I could do....' Then there's the venue....nothing too small..so the Paris catacombs are out, nothing to big and impersonal, so ditto the deconsecrated power station. One of the girls has a phobia of boats, so HMS Belfast is off the list. Why do these things have to be so complicated? For my Hen Do, we had a simple chicken dinner and an evening watching Sumo Wrestling in Edinburgh. Everyone had a great time and got a lovely gift bag with some Japanese shortbread and a pair of balls. Anyway rant over....But AIBU? Or is it time to really pare back Hen do's?

OP posts:
SilverPink · 05/07/2026 13:38

“Japanese shortbread and a pair of balls”

😂😂. whose balls OP?! 👀👀

ToadRage · 05/07/2026 13:39

I didn't have a hen do. I did plan to take my adult and teenage bridesmaids out for dinner and present then with bridesmaid boxes including a hair accessorie, bracelet and wine or chocolate. My wedding was cancelled due to covid and when we redid it it was too much to try an orchestrate again, one of my adult bridesmaids was in Japan and was no longer coming my other adult bridesmaid had other plans the night before, my Mum couldn't get the house she had originally rented for the whole family. So I did nothing, stayed home and got my beauty sleep.

MadeInGrimsby · 05/07/2026 13:39

tartyflette · 05/07/2026 13:00

You lost me at The Hulk.

Yes. Very unpleasant.

LlynTegid · 05/07/2026 13:42

I wish there could be a way of actively discouraging hen and stag dos like this (a large tax bill perhaps).

Politely decline to organise this.

Naurrr · 05/07/2026 13:46

we all have to go dressed as characters

No you don't. Problem solved.

Fast800goingforit · 05/07/2026 13:47

I can picture the quagmire of merde. Surely you've missed out the Concorde flights and five day holiday somewhere exotic, like Clacton.

MadeInGrimsby · 05/07/2026 13:48

I think you've missed out someone being pregnant.

MadeInGrimsby · 05/07/2026 13:49

Fast800goingforit · 05/07/2026 13:47

I can picture the quagmire of merde. Surely you've missed out the Concorde flights and five day holiday somewhere exotic, like Clacton.

Yes. Also a spa.

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 05/07/2026 13:49

I'm in! I'm coming as Loki. Date and Time please.

ThejoyofNC · 05/07/2026 13:49

I imagine this is very over exaggerated but it was pretty funny to read.

Tell the bride she needs to channel Dr Strange and look into the future for an outcome that actually works.

JacknDiane · 05/07/2026 13:51

Getting fed up with these threads on mn. This user to be a place to come for a good read, serious threads and jokey threads. Now its all AI rubbish and bots.

HolidayWithHounds · 05/07/2026 13:52

Some marvel characters can be invisible. That would be me.

DaisyDooley · 05/07/2026 13:54

I’m so glad my circle were getting married when hen do’s were simply a night out and a meal.
Tapas and champagne at mine then dancing at the towns only ‘claggy mat’.
No stupid dressing up, no rules, no massive costs (I paid the bill), no gettimg everyone to pay for the bride, no overnight, no tears, nobody left out.
They all sound fucking appaling attention seeking excersizes with a high chance of nastiness and arguments.
I would rather paint my toenails.

Fast800goingforit · 05/07/2026 13:55

MadeInGrimsby · 05/07/2026 13:49

Yes. Also a spa.

And everyone else covering the hen's costs.

Planesmistakenforstars · 05/07/2026 13:58

Cinematic Universe is perhaps the wankiest phrase of modern times. And fancy dress hen dos can also get in the bin. It's a good shit post though, and you've reminded me how much I'd like to see sumo wrestling.

MaeWestNeverForgets · 05/07/2026 13:59

JacknDiane · 05/07/2026 13:51

Getting fed up with these threads on mn. This user to be a place to come for a good read, serious threads and jokey threads. Now its all AI rubbish and bots.

What are you suggesting? This is neither AI nor a bot. But I think you may be a Russian Sock Puppet.

OP posts:
Fitbodyproblem · 05/07/2026 13:59

Brilliant 😂

MadeInGrimsby · 05/07/2026 14:00

Fast800goingforit · 05/07/2026 13:55

And everyone else covering the hen's costs.

Yes! He/she/they forgot that.

MaeWestNeverForgets · 05/07/2026 14:00

SilverPink · 05/07/2026 13:38

“Japanese shortbread and a pair of balls”

😂😂. whose balls OP?! 👀👀

Oh God, I've just seen my mistake....it should have read Chinese Stress Balls....good lordy.....

OP posts:
Larrythecatforpm · 05/07/2026 14:01

Hen dos should just be banned, what a nightmare.

MaeWestNeverForgets · 05/07/2026 14:01

SilverPink · 05/07/2026 13:38

“Japanese shortbread and a pair of balls”

😂😂. whose balls OP?! 👀👀

Oh God, I've just seen my mistake....it should have read Chinese Stress Balls....good lordy.....

OP posts:
MadeInGrimsby · 05/07/2026 14:04

MaeWestNeverForgets · 05/07/2026 14:01

Oh God, I've just seen my mistake....it should have read Chinese Stress Balls....good lordy.....

Of course.

Eleos · 05/07/2026 14:08

I tried to gently, but in a lighthearted way to suggest that one of the girls, given her haircut and build ( And I'm not judging) could go as The Hulk, but this didn't go down well. I secretly think she may believe I was making a snide comment about the time she came to a picnic wearing ripped trousers...

Yeah, sure. Did make me smile though.

Shoola · 05/07/2026 14:10

This is my hen do you are talking about and you are no longer chief hen! You should come as Dreykov as that won't even require a costume.

Newtt · 05/07/2026 14:12

MadeInGrimsby · 05/07/2026 13:48

I think you've missed out someone being pregnant.

With twins 😂

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