Dieting is horrendous

[SassyLemonFish]

Just looking for sympathy really.

I’ve a bmi of 28. I need to lose a lot of weight. For the last two weeks I’ve been good but MY GOD the hunger and sheer depressing nature of it all. My BMR is only 1600. Sticking to 1000 or less is so hard.

My husband, on the other hand, seems to have no hunger and amazing self control. Last night he ate a single sweet potato and declared that as his dinner. His BMR is 2700. I can see him visibly changing before my eyes.

I guess I’m just jealous.

Of course you feel shit on that. You're cutting too hard. Go a couple of hundred under, up steps and accept that it will take a while. Under 1000 is too little.

1000 calories is very low. My bmr is now about 1650 and that’s with exercise most days. I eat 1400 calories a day and this seems to be loosing me a 1lb a month now.
Ive got so used to eating so little but yes it is horrendous and menopause has all but killed my metabolism. That’s being said I have lost 3.5 stone so it doable just not very fun

You need to be knocking calories off your TDEE, not your BMR. A calculator like this should give you the right amount

https://www.zavamed.com/uk/tdee-calculator.html?srsltid=AfmBOoqg__YGdH_1QTzpILgVgOs4ajAmvCNnPuno5uj8NgqV8npaIuHP

Have you considered Mounjaro? My BMI was less than yours. It makes dieting effortless, ime.

Maybe her DH is on it
I was coming on to say upping my exercise was the answer for me. Cutting the calories too hard resulted in 3 or 4 excellent days and then a mega binge because of that feeling of deprivation.

You shouldn't be climbing the walls with hunger.

If you're not already, make sure you're eating plenty of foods with low calorie densities.

Yoghurt and berries for breakfast, protein like fish or eggs with a LOT of salad for main meals, or a stir fry with lots of vegetables (go easy on the oil here). You want bulk foods that will fill you up and be nutritionally healthy but which don't come with tonnes of calories.

Your meals should still be normal size and you shouldn't be starving or feeling depressed.

I refuse to shell out hundreds to decimate my muscle and bmr further. I can’t afford it with adult children to support. Also, at some point I’d need to stop it. The more permanent solution is for me to learn to live with hunger.

I also seem to be the only fat person at work now. I reckon a fair few colleagues are on it.

You should never be eating below your BMR - that is what your body needs just to keep yourself alive, no wonder you're feeling terrible.

Do your adult children have their own jobs to pay their own way?
You'd only decimate muscle if you did nothing to counteract it, any weight loss can come with muscle loss anyway.
What do you think a calorie count of 1000 is doing to your muscles now?

A BMI of 28 is not “a lot” of weight to lose. Lose your negative attitude first and things will be easier.

What’s your TDEE? Not your BMR. Of course your BMR is that low.

You really shouldn't be restricting yourself to the point of constant hunger and having to live with it, nor to the point of muscle wastage That's how diets fail. Whatever you're currently doing is not sustainable.

This is different to feeling hungry when it's approaching time to eat - that's normal.

I think you need to look at what you're eating and ask what you can change to have larger, more filling meals without compromising on calorie content.

This. It’s the under eating and no exercise that does the damage.

fill up on veggies and protein. Low calorie but will keep you fuller for longer.

What are you eating in a typical day?

BMI of 28 is barely overweight tbf and I can’t see Mounjaro being approved for that.

I sympathise OP. All the ‘well you shouldn’t be hungry!’ posts just miss the point. Either I’m consumed with guilt for breaking my diet or I’m feeling deprived. It’s a lose lose.

You have my sympathy but your diet is unsustainable. BMR stands for basal metabolic rate, it’s what your body needs to maintain basic functions. It’s the calories you would burn in a coma.

Cutting so low you are setting yourself up for failure, you will lose weight but it’s impossible to maintain such a huge deficit.

There are plenty of people on MN who “tried every diet under the sun” and claim that nothing has worked for them. Or people who recommend going low carb “because it’s always worked for me” meaning they have been putting on and losing the same weight on and off again their whole life. Don’t be one of them, it’s easier to lose weight and maintain if you get it right from the start.

Why aren't you using your TDEE and cutting from there?
1000 is absolute starvation rations, I'd be starving and miserable too.
It's not sustainable long term. No-one can fight themselves permanently like this. And you WILL lose muscle mass crash dieting.

You're not very overweight. Take it slowly, up your activity levels, eat enough protein.

I think that’s setting yourself up to fail. I lost a stone and a half, slowly over about a year, by eating more fibre and veg, good tasty food, stir fry, soups and salads. Having protein and fibre at every meal, lots of beans, lentils and the like. Stopped random drinking, late night tv snacks, eating junk at work.

Why would you decimate your muscle? 🤔

I ate protein and upped my strength training as anyone should when on any diet. I actually increased my muscle. My BMR reduced by 200 because I lost over 50 pounds and I need fewer calories.

No, this mentality is what's lose-lose.

You shouldn't be feeling deprived. Dieting by massively smashing your intake and restricting food beyond what's healthy isn't sustainable.

And telling yourself that this is the right way and then feeling guilty when you break something that is not healthy or sustainable is entirely self-inflicted.

Diet by making swaps and asking what you can add - that is healthy and sustainable.

Do not start exercising if it’s not already part of your daily routine!
Concentrate on weight loss first through diet, exercise later.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t be walking more, but actual fitness training? No.
As you lose weight, start to add in more exercise, but first you have to get used to the different diet and succeed there.

You don’t understand how GLPs work. Or how BMR works. Your approach is destined for failure and there is a whiff of self punishment about it as well.

None of this is necessary or healthy. Lots of sensible advice on the thread, if you can’t afford GLPs which would make the whole thing easier (and that is fair enough, obvs).

As others have said you are eating way too little. You won’t be getting anywhere near enough protein or fibre I’m sure

honestly id take a much more simple approach

prioritise protein ar every meal to ensure you get at least 30-40g each meal

ensure you get at least 25g fibre

get carbs from nature / pulses/cruciferous veg not refined starches and junk food

up your movement a bit

optimise sleep and minimise stress.

that’s it

Well, I am afraid I do, and no amount of informing me I don’t means that I don’t!