AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

She's a cheapskate. If she was really desperate that OPs son should say yes, she'd have offered him more than the going rate for cat sitting (which people are saying is £100-200 on this thread) as incentive to agree, not a paltry £30 for going in twice daily for 2wks! The shite about how poor her she can't go on holidays now, will just be emotional blackmail. She'll magically come up with a solution and be off on holiday. No need for anyone to fret over her.

£30 for 2 weeks? work is definitely a bit of money as in a tiny bit

I pay my friend’s teenager £10 a day to pop in morning and evening and feed my cats, wash their bowls and change the water. She tends to put some music on and stay for a bit to give them a fuss as well, which is her choice. She lives 2 minutes away, likes doing it, we’ll be away for 16 days in August so I’ll round it up to £200 for her which is a decent amount I feel and she seems to agree. there’s no litter tray though, and I would expect to pay more for that because it’s a horrible job!

however, I always check months in advance that she’s still ok to do it, so I have time to book a Cattery if she’s not available. No way would I be getting shitty with my neighbours (or even asking them, if I wasn’t particularly friends with them).

The neighbour can phone round. I get that they must be stressed but we have had to cancel a holiday before as the dog was ill and therefore could not go to the dog sitter. Sometimes these things happen with pets but it is not for the OP and her son to have to cancel their plans just to make sure the neighbour doesn’t have to cancel theirs.

She’s been able to book a two week holiday for herself and isn’t afraid of being a CF. I don’t think at bit of googling is going to be an issue for her to manage without the op having to do it.

Should the op go round and cook her tea and clean her house while she’s away too?

Jeez some of these responses…🙄

No, it isn’t “your problem”, but I would and have done this. You could have sorted it between you and your son quite easily. You don’t want to. That’s your choice.

Good chance for the teenager to practice negotiation skills then, always useful as an adult. If the neighbour is desperate she will probably pay out more.

Agreed. I would do the first week. However you might want to send her details of a cattery.

Of course OP isn't being mean or selfish. She is away for work and her neighbour expects more than just putting some food down, including emptying the litter trays and getting the cat in for the night.

Her neighbour was actually really rude in the way she responded to OP telling her that her pet sitter could look after the cat for the second week of her holiday. Instead of thanking her for contacting her own pet sitter, she just rudely told her that it wouldn't work. No 'thanks for checking with your pet sitter'. Her offer of just £30 for two weeks' work for OP's son is derisory.

But the teenager in question doesn't want to do it

Why are teenagers not allowed a choice?

See my previous post re negotiating a better rate. Useful skill for an adult when it comes to pay discussions.

Why can’t the neighbour ‘sort it’ herself? Why is the neighbour’s holiday logistics suddenly the OP’s to ‘sort’? I am just baffled.

How could it have easily been sorted between OP and her son? OP is away for 3 days next week. Her son would like to be, as he wants to camp when the weather has cooled, and has already refused the request. Please be specific about how OP could've easily sorted it.

Teenager wants to go away.

I have only been asked once by someone over the road. I don’t like cats and said no. If I had fed the cat then it would start hanging around me after this.

If the neighbour is offering that price, my bet is that they were offering similar to someone else who has decided it's too much hassle. If they'd actually paid a professional it would be at least £150-200 for two visits a day, and if they'd budgeted that they'd have no problems offering it to someone else in an emergency.

I think they're forgetting that whilst minimum wage for teenagers is less than adults, teenagers even if they were available to work would want actual money, not a quid a time - it's not the nineties!

She sounds bloody rude! I love cats and would have offered, but that doesn't mean you or your son have to be guilty tripped into doing it.

But no one in the house wants to do it why is that hard for people to understand is the op speaking a foreign language?

Your teenagers would have jumped at the chance to work 9hr20min to earn a total of £30 would they? Whilst turning down plans with friends/partners including a camping trip and when they already have a job?

It's not just feeding though is it.

It's ensuring her house is locked up and secure after each visit.

It's taking on responsbility for her cat - if it's ill, or hurt.

£30 for 2 weeks tells you exactly what you need to know about this person - and the fact she is being very very pushy.

If anything happened to her cat, or her house you can absolutely bet that she would be complaining to high heaven.

As to the 'it's nice to help people' - well, it used to be, when people were decent and grateful and reciprocal. But these days I find more and more people expectant, complaining and entirely absent when you need that favour returned - the 'no good deed goes unpunished' has been my experience too many times.

She’d struggle to get the cat into a cattery as it’s high season - they’ll be full.

I’d help her out, it’s not a huge time commitment

Bit of a drip feed op. It’s one thing to not be able to do it because you’re physically not there, but in your op you made it sound like the pair of you just didn’t want to.

Obviously you shouldn’t cancel your own plans to help a neighbour but if you’d been home it really wouldn’t have been a big deal to help out.

The neighbour offered him £30 for doing this for a fortnight. Obviously, her regular cat sitter would have charged much more. If she paid him the minimum wage for an 18 year old, it would cost her £101. She's a cheapskate.

I get your point but he's already said he can't do it regardless of money.

I am sure the poster's teenager would love to darn the neighbours socks, deep clean their toilet and scrub the floors while also training for a marathon to raise millions for charity and composing a symphony in the neighbours honour

My son has a job, 2 actually. He works in a cafe and does GCSE tuition.

Why did you presume he doesn’t earn already? Are adults incapable of thinking before they speak rubbish and think the worst of every young person nowadays?