AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

Yeah, his own holiday and plans, just like the neighbours. How unreasonable of him!

🤡

She should pay your son to do it of course. Would he not like to earn a bit?

I really don't like cats. Like really really do not like them.

However I have a dog, and I sympathise with the pet care angle generally. So I would probably agree to pop round the first week for a few mins each day to put food down etc. I draw the line at doing litter trays tho

That being said , She was rude, no doubt about it.

What are you talking about?!

I think the point is that to make it worth his while to limit his potential holiday plans, it would need to be quite a bit more than the £30 offered and closer to the amount for a professional cat service which she evidently doesn't want to pay.

Quite. How dare he have a nice summer and go on holiday for a bit. Wait, isn’t that what your neighbour wants to do?!

Don't justify your plans or your sons plans, its irrelevant. The answer is no and the owner of the cat needs to find her own way of caring for the cat whilst shes on holiday.

Can't you manage it between you both just for a week? Really?

You don't have to, and no it isn't your problem, but it's not a big deal if you split it. Community is dead and buried, honestly.

💯

She still gets to choose. It just isn't going to be the cheap option she was hoping for. It still isn't OP's problem.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable per se, but I do think it’s a bit sad that this “no my problem” view has taken over. Even with camping and a night away, your son likely can manage a once a day visit to feed a cat, or try and arrange his camping slightly around when you’re available too. Fair enough your dog sitter can do the second week, but I think it wouldn’t kill you do work it out between you for a week to help out someone in a real bind. I think her attitude isn’t great, but also she’s probably very stressed out!

Same! My DD got £20 for feeding a neighbour’s cat for 2.5 days x twice a day. For two weeks I’d expect her to receive at least £150 - which is no doubt what cat sitter would have been receiving.

But it’s irrelevant because OP’s DS has plans and has said no. There must be other people in the street the neighbour could try.

I've done it before and also had a neighbour feed mine when I was away.

I didn't just go in feed them and leave, I stayed and made a bit of a fuss of the cat I was feeding so he wouldn't feel too lonely. Not everyone wants to do that and two weeks is quite a long time to be responsible for feeding a cat and washing up their dishes each day, I can see why a teenager might not be willing to do that if they have other things on the go.

It's her problem to sort out not yours.

I’d do it for a neighbour, and have done in the past. Next door, twice a day for a week - it’s hardly arduous.

Another vote for a cattery here. When we had our lovely moggy, she went to one where the residents were treated royally. Easier (but usually more expensive) than finding a cat sitter.

Doesn’t matter if it’s as strenuous as climbing a mountain, the son still has plans that means he doesn’t want to commit.

Blimey my teenagers would have jumped at the chance if they were getting paid. It what a maximum of 40 minutes a day.
Don’t teenagers want to earn a bit of money nowadays or do parents just fund everything?

Sounds like she's found herself in a tight spot through no fault if her own and is asking for help. You are of course within your rights to say no you can't help but it's hardly massively cheeky of her to ask a neighbour for a small favour!

I'm glad I have the kind of relationship with my NDN that this would be absolutely fine, and we can and do pitch in to help each other out.

It is when you're not necessarily going to be there.

Personally, I'm certain to be at home for the next week so I'd go and do the food and water no problem. Not up for the cat litter, so maybe that wouldn't suit the owner here, but a food and water swap no problem. But in this instance, OP is definitely away for some of it so DS would have to potentially miss out on plans with his friends. That is actually quite a lot to ask of an 18 year old so their neighbour can save money.

It’s 30 quid for the entire two weeks, not per day! That’s a shockingly low amount for the commitment when the neighbour would’ve been paying cat sitter £££. I wouldn’t let my teen be exploited like that!

This teenager already has a job. But I'm not sure even one who didn't would be up for not going camping when they'd prefer to, to earn the princely sum of £30.

Indeed. we've always put our succession of dogs into good kennels, precisely because it's the most secure option. We even refused our good neighbours' offer to have our current dog (because they love her) whenever we go on holidays without her, precisely because there might be an emergency situation arising which meant they'd have to let us down at the last minute.

Be kind to your neighbour.
Find the address of a local cattery for her as she is unable to do so herself.

I don't think it's cheeky to ask but I do think it is cheeky and rude to not even say thank you when OP has recommended her pet sitter or to only offer OP's son £30 for 2 weeks and then ask OP about her son doing it again when he had already said no.

Those kinds of things wouldn't make me want to help.

The neighbour is offering £30 for 2 weeks.