AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

😂

She sounds a bit cheeky , but if she’s usually a decent neighbour and you get on ok I would help her out, It’s not like she didn’t arrange a pet sitter . She should offer to pay you though.

She has – £30 to cover the entire two weeks, 2 x visits a day.

She’s taking the absolute piss with £30. If she’s that desperate she can offer market rate on the local FB page.

Yes, I think this is going to turn into a succession of posts from people who've not read the updates.

Because ultimately, this isn't really about the action of feeding the cat, it's about the need to commit to being around. If a neighbour is going to be there already, enough people think of it as a small thing that it's arguably reasonable to ask. But it becomes a lot more to ask when a person hadn't necessarily planned to be at home.

She's told the OP she has arranged a cat sitter, but since she's only offering OP's son £30 for 2 weeks work, I suspect it's not actually a professional.

It's probably a friend or family member, who is sick and tired of the neighbour being a cheapskate and can't be bothered to work for pocket change, just so she can go on holiday. 🤷‍♀️

Tbh it's all a bit drip feedy. It's gone from "it's not my problem, and he doesn't want to" to "we're both away". Obviously if you're both away at the same time you can't do it, whether you wanted to or not, so I don't really see what the point of the post is.

I'm a cat owner myself and if I could I would (and have!) helped out a neighbour and fed their cat. My immediate neighbour, not a chance would I feed her cat, she's extremely fussy and it would be an utter nightmare. If the neighbour has a cat flap, then it's unlikely the OP or a cat sitter would be required to clean out a litter tray, as the cat probably goes outside.

However, it sounds as if perhaps cats aren't really an animal you're particularly interested in. There's nothing wrong in that, not everyone likes cats. I wouldn't look after a dog, not because I dislike them but because I've never had a dog, and have no experience of one.

You aren't obliged to look after your neighbours cat. Perhaps suggest she contacts her vets, and local rescues because often they know cat sitters. Ask on the local area Facebook, if anyone knows of a local cat sitter. The alternative is a cattery, but at short notice, she may struggle to find availability. Often kennels and catteries are booked up months in advance, as are dog/cat sitters.

Neither you or your son are available to care for her cat. It’s a shame she’s been let down but that’s isn’t your problem. You have work and your son has made plans for his own holiday. Why should the neighbors holiday trump your plans? I don’t think it’s unreasonable of her to ask, but you’ve said no and that’s the end of it. Personally, I wouldn’t want the responsibility of caring for a neighbors pet.

Of course it’s not your problem OP especially if you cant help her being away even if you wanted to (and I won’t blame you for not wanting to, I wouldn’t, she wanted a lot and approached it wrongly)
Your son is planning to go away too. Did you explain it to her by the way? Not that you need a reason to say no but giving a reason sounds better and more neighbourly.

I would probably respond: Hope you’ll find someone for the first week.

I said we both told her we couldn’t do it. When I say I can’t do something, I mean I can’t do it.

My son also doesn’t want to give up his plans with his friends and gf to look after the neighbours cat.

OP has offered her own pet sitter details and they can do the second week but that wasn't good enough and OP didn't even get a thank you.

She has put herself into this situation by booking a 2 week holiday when she has a cat and trying to cheap out and not simply booking the cattery months ago.

Slight aside, but when did cats start getting so pampered? We've always had cats and funnily enough always had neighbours happy to feed them, and that's probably because we've just said 'give them a big lot of food once per day and if the bowls start to stink stick them in a sink of water, get another bowl, and we'll sort it when we get back'. Never any of this pissing around washing bowls or changing water, and if you're not going to put a cat flap in so they need to be called in every evening too...well I can see why the OP can't be arsed with that. If it was just going in and opening a few sachets of food then I would say the OP was being a bit unreasonable, but if we're dealing with the feline equivalent of Dame Barbara Cartland then sod that.

It probably would have helped if you'd said in the OP that neither of you can do it because you'll be away (however loose your son's plans are, he shouldn't be expected to plan around your neighbour). Otherwise it just sounds like neither of you can be arsed, which would be unreasonable. (My mum hated our neighbour growing up, but they still fed each other's cats when the other was away). I do think if you could make it work without changing your own plans then you should, but if you can't then there are plenty of other options she can try that don't involve cancelling her holiday.

@ChickenStuffing
@Screamingabdabz

Ever heard of sarcasm ?

Ah yes how dare a young man not prioritise his entitled cheapskate neighbour over his own work (where he is presumably paid at least the legal minimum wage) and social life! The horrible youth of today, etc etc…

Yep typical drip feed when there's push back

had OP said "neighbour asked us to look after cat but we're both away "absolutely everyone would have said YANBU

odd how they didn't just say that

She said she couldn’t do it. We need to take this as fact.

Otherwise it just sounds like neither of you can be arsed, which would be unreasonable.

Why would that be unreasonable? Even if OP or her son didn't have plans / work, they don't need to be the ones who look after the neighbours cat. They're allowed to say no.

But if you’d said in your op ‘we can’t do it because we’re away’ the responses would have been a lot different. Not wanting to and not being able to are two different things.

Our cat sitter has also just finished her A-levels, starting uni in September. We pay her £15 for 30 minutes a day with our cat- we ask for once a day though ... A family friend but she advertises on rover for a bit of extra cash before uni in September.... If she was willing to pay you guys for your time I would deffo do it....
Has she offered cash- or just asked him... Would he be willing if she paid him- so he has money over the summer?

ffs, I said we both told her we can’t in my first post. Can’t means can’t. Unless you think it’s reasonable for me to change work plans and my son to change his summer plans for her. No, my son doesn’t want to change plan either.

I told my neighbour that my son has lots of plans over summer, told her about his camping trip and festival plans, concerts etc, so he won’t be around much but will be in and out. She knows I am away with work a lot, most weeks I am away at least one night and up to 3 nights.

I don’t owe anyone my life story. I said can’t and I meant can’t. If you read that as meaning we can, then that is on you!

Same here!

She offered him £30. He has plans. He already works so has money for the summer.

Totally not your problem and I’m fairly anti cat but I think doing your neighbour a good turn isn’t out for he question.