AIBU to ask in-laws to remove shoes?

[tirednhn]

Context: 10 month old has been hospitalised twice in the last two weeks for bronch then catching a bug that went straight to his chest. First hospital visit high flow oxygen for four days and NG feeding tube. Second oxygen for 4 hours.

I grew up in a shoes off house. Do it automatically as does DH, DC and my family and guests. In-laws however just walk straight in even though I’ve repeatedly asked if they can remove their shoes.

10 month old and 2 year old basically live on the floor downstairs playing, it’s LVT so isn’t carpeted. Little one was discharged on Monday after having to call 999 and get him taken to hospital via an ambulance simply for catching the common cold as he’s so run down.

FIL dropped off my toddler (at their request to take her) and stormed straight through standing next to the playmat where he was playing. We reminded everyone a few days ago to remove shoes. The annoying thing is he didn’t even utter one word to me, just stood looking at baby so no need for him to come in the house. MIL took her shoes off and came through and we spoke, done handover etc. We’re trying to mitigate as much germs as possible just now and feel like I’m going mad! I know I’m unable to remove all germs but with such a poorly baby I don’t want all sorts trailed through the house if I can help it.

Wait til you read how much fecal matter is on all the surfaces in your bathroom!

All outdoor shoes were banned at our childrens nursery, staff and students had to leave indoor shoes that stayed at nursery. Come to think of it, when choosing nurseries they all banned outdoor shoes.

Op I'm a shoes on house , we are all alive and fine !

I also find people who are extremely anal about shoes off often are massivley unhygienic in other ways.

However on this occasion you have my support which is rare in shoes off and on threads.

You have a very valid reason to try and reduce germs right now !
And they should both respect that.

Actual nurseries with babies and young children spending time on the floor all remove their shoes. Workers have indoor crocs they change into and children have their shoes taken off and put in a basket, before 2 they are able to go to the basket and retrieve their own shoes when they are instructed to for outside play.

School children aren’t typically playing on the floor.

This is the easiest answer. For older people walking without shoes can be tricky and painful (I can't walk without shoes). Taking shoes on and off can also be a problem so shoe covers are a simple answer.

If you’re an ‘shoes off’ person, that’s your prerogative (we would never ask people to remove their shoes as we think it’s really inhospitable).

Asking visitors to remove shoes is not going to stop your child getting coughs and colds. Shoes are not a breeding ground for these viruses.

If you’re that worried, make sure people with colds don’t visit.

I think it's unlikely that that kind of bug would live on shoes, the more normal way of passing those on is by breathing in something in the air. However you are fine to insist shoes off in your house if you want.

Actually I have changed my opinion about the tacky Temu sign - but put it on the front door so that it’s clear and people can decide whether to bother.

Nothing says ‘welcome’ like telling people they are unhygienic and have to put on some manky used slippers to walk on a germy carpet.

Very weird that you would choose not to visit someone unless you could get their floors dirty.

Why on earth?

When he was admitted with bronchilitios his oxygen level was at 70% and they sent an ambulance, we headed straight up. They said they will cancel the ambulance only if someone was beside him on the seat. Severely dehydrated and immediately put on an NG tube as cannulas wouldn’t work. High flow oxygen for four days. The trip driven by us made his oxygen drop worse.

The second time. As soon as he was connected to the machine inside the ambulance his oxygen was at 80%. Immediately connected to oxygen.

I’m all for don’t put pressure on ambulances but we were told to dial 999 should be see him gasping for air.

Clearly you’ve never experienced a child who is struggling to breathe because they have a common cold.

Children who suffer from bronchiolitis / wheeze can get seriously ill from the common cold. The common child has kept my child in hospital for a week, where he was close to being put on a ventilator as he just couldn’t breathe.

OP has already explained what happened to her child. What makes you think you know any better on how OP should have handled it?

I’ve been there many times with both my children and it truly is a horrible experience. Don’t be so patronising, as a small child struggling to breathe and with low oxygen levels is very much a medical emergency.

You’d be better off getting visitors to wear medical grade face masks and wash their hands.

😂😂😂
I know what you are getting at. Precautions taken here. 🫡

How do people navigate summer when one isn’t wearing socks? 🧦 feel uncomfortable walking around people’s house sim bare feet

Speak for yourself 🤮 I clean my bathroom top to bottom daily with bleach.

Nobody will be walking their germy shoes through my clean home.

Do you have carpets?

If you clean your bathroom daily then it’s still going to be germy af in between.

Keep the door locked so that you have to let all visitors in and remind them that before they go any further their shoes need to be removed

Some people have too much time on their hands.

MIDHILL 100x PREMIUM BLUE DISPOSABLE SHOE COVERS OVER SHOE COVERS FOR CLEANING OVER SHOE PROTECT CARPETS 3.5g 50 PAIRS ONE SIZE FITS ALL: Amazon.co.uk: Fashion

get something like these - then he can keep his shoes on (as clearly he is the most important person here)

Why? What are you doing in your bathroom that requires a DAILY full clean with bleach

Single use and disposable… very eco friendly

Cleaning the bathroom is a daily task. I clean most things with bleach.

Maybe try to work out a compromise with them. Could they leave a pair of their own indoor shoes or slippers at your house?

This. I would remind them at the door every time. And get a steam cleaner mop. They are supposed to be good for killing floor germs I believe. Hope your dc is ok xxx

Regardless of what you do RE the shoes please don’t bring your child up in a sterile, sanitised, detolled bubble. You will do him no favours.