AIBU to ask in-laws to remove shoes?

[tirednhn]

Context: 10 month old has been hospitalised twice in the last two weeks for bronch then catching a bug that went straight to his chest. First hospital visit high flow oxygen for four days and NG feeding tube. Second oxygen for 4 hours.

I grew up in a shoes off house. Do it automatically as does DH, DC and my family and guests. In-laws however just walk straight in even though I’ve repeatedly asked if they can remove their shoes.

10 month old and 2 year old basically live on the floor downstairs playing, it’s LVT so isn’t carpeted. Little one was discharged on Monday after having to call 999 and get him taken to hospital via an ambulance simply for catching the common cold as he’s so run down.

FIL dropped off my toddler (at their request to take her) and stormed straight through standing next to the playmat where he was playing. We reminded everyone a few days ago to remove shoes. The annoying thing is he didn’t even utter one word to me, just stood looking at baby so no need for him to come in the house. MIL took her shoes off and came through and we spoke, done handover etc. We’re trying to mitigate as much germs as possible just now and feel like I’m going mad! I know I’m unable to remove all germs but with such a poorly baby I don’t want all sorts trailed through the house if I can help it.

Its so cringey to ask folk to remove their shoes.

Thanks for your comment, someone who gets it! Im currently on high alert after everything he’s been through the past few weeks.

If the children were older, fair enough, but I literally have two children who sit and play on the floor all day. Toddler moves beyond the playmat etc and now baby is too now he’s more active. I wouldn’t let them play on the pavement and put their hands in their mouths straight after.

We used to keep a few pairs of cheap slippers for visitors who found our no shoes policy difficult (eg elderly people who found our hard floors too cold).

You don’t catch a cold from floors!

Buy a pair of slippers or sliders as a “gift” for each of your inlaws, wrap them up, and explain when they open them, that you will keep them here at your house for them to use.

(a friend did this for me decades ago, I was well chuffed).

I currently keep a pair of indoor Crocs in the car and always take them wherever I go as a guest, I don’t wait to be asked, it just seems right and polite.

Buy some plastic shoe covers and keep them by the door?

In my world you don’t need the backstory. I find it disgusting that people wear shoes inside. You could get some cheap indoor slippers for guests that feel uncomfortable.

Don't be so ridiculous. I can't think of anyone I know who takes their shoes off when they go inside their houses, it's not the norm here. Somehow we all seem to be healthy (or if not it's not because of inside shoes) and our houses are clean. Even the most clean freak of my friends wears shoes inside.

I like my guests to feel at home if they come to my house. I wouldn't want to visit you.

It very much is the norm. I genuinely can’t remember the last time I went into someone’s house that was shoes on, apart from when they’ve hosted a BBQ or a garden party of some sort, and even then that’s them making an exception.

I don't live in the UK and it is not the norm here. In my almost 67 years I could count on my fingers the number of times I have been requested to remove my shoes - and probably most of those times were for "open home" house viewings.

Provide slippers.

It depends on the age of the householder. It may be the norm for millennials and younger, it certainly isn’t for older generations.

My ex MIL had some shoe covers by the door and she would point them out to people when they arrived and ask for shoe covers or shoes off. See if you can get some from amazon or something.

I have always been shoes off anyway - especially now as recently moved to a new house with all white carpets!! Previously couple that lived here were child free.

We have a strict no shoes in the house policy and we don’t have children let alone a poorly baby. If people don’t like it, they don’t need to come into the home!

I do warn people and I’ve never had any issues, tradesmen bring plastic shoe covers and my friends bring slippers.

Ah nothing says ‘screw the environment’ better than a load of plastic shoe covers…

Then keep both the 2 year old and poorly baby at home for the next couple of weeks whilst baby recuperates.

Do your in-laws have a weekly arrangement that they look after the 2 year old? Why do they need to come inside to do ‘handover’ if they know your baby is poorly?

Yep. I never ask people to. Many do take them off, or offer to, but I don't ask and would never insist. Some people have smelly feet or verrucas, and I'm not about to put them in a position that embarrasses them..

I have this issue with my in laws. Turns out they struggle to bend down to take shoes on and off, we don’t have a seat by the front door. It’s still disgusting though.

If I was asked, it’s not a problem as I just wouldn’t be able to come in. I am diabetic and walking barefoot is something I have been told not to do.

I am certainly not going to risk picking up something nasty from your carpets (dead skin cells, sweaty feet, small children’s dirty hands and dribble… 🤢) as it could have serious consequences for me if my feet get infected.

Why do so many germphobes have carpet anyway?

So you would rather bring in dirt you’ve been stepping on outside than take off your shoes in the house? I have a dog, I pick up after him, but there will still be traces I’m sure, he sometimes pees on the road…mainly bushes but still. 😩😢😢😩😢🤢

I find it grim when people don’t take off their shoes. I loved my time in Asia and Africa as it’s common, seen as a sign of respecting someone’s home and clean to not traipse around indoors with whatever you’ve stepped on outside.

We don't wear shoes as we have carpets. Most guests take off their shoes but I would never tell them to. I think if you are very sensitive about germs, don't have carpets and then visitors don't need to worry taking off shoes.

Well as I explained in my last post, I’m not going to risk picking up some nasty infection from someone’s carpet which could result in serious health complications.

Having a foot amputated is a lot more grim than shoes on inside a house

Shoes on in the house is nothing to do with your child's immune system, does your child go to nursery?

I have a shoe rack just inside my door, with extra house shoes and some hand sanitizer on top. If you have room to add a chair or a stool, even better. I would even consider putting a sign up on the door. This one is on Temu but I am sure you can get them anywhere.

@LivelyGreyShark - shoes bring in up to 85% of household dust. If this baby has had repeated bronchitis, then dust is very likely a trigger. Shoes also increase likelihood of germs on the floor where this kid will be crawling and putting things in their mouth.