Why do you hate the PTA?

[Rororo1]

I am part of a group of parents who are in the process of setting up a PTA at our primary school. When I mentioned this to a friend, she went on a long rant about how she dislikes the PTA at her child's school, and I feel like hating on the PTA is a common thing.

If you dislike your schools PTA, please can you tell me why? So we can try to avoid doing whatever it is that seems to make PTA groups so unlikeable 😅

Also please vote:

You are being unreasonable - I have no hard feelings towards the PTA at my child's school

You are not being unreasonable - I have negative feelings towards our PTA

Ours organise great events at a very reasonable price point and they have to deal with the school office who are dire at sending comms, which has really messed up events before and meant lots of parents complained to the PTA over something out of their control. They go above and beyond. This years is definitely one of the best we’ve had at our school. It’s not an easy task. Oh and no I’m not on the PTA committee myself.

Jesus Christ, I'm the chair of our PTFA 😂.

I try to make it really inclusive, there's about 25 "members" of the ptfa in a school of 70 kids so pretty high involvement. Some of them only help out at one event year, that's completely fine, anything is better than nothing.

The school is on the bones of its arse financially. We pay for everything that isn't completely essential. Repairs to the pool, the dance teacher, coach to the panto, cover costs for the kids who wouldn't otherwise be able to go on the y5/6 residential. All sorts of stuff. You can argue we shouldn't exist, but schools are wildly underfunded and I don't see that changing any time soon.

Of course we're always asking for money, it's why we exist. I dunno if people think we're cliquey, I hope not. I really don't get the PTFA hate though, it's mostly just parents trying to make sure their kids school has everything they need.

My PTA days are long over thankfully but I did many years on the PTA with various committees all with varying degrees of success.
I know people get annoyed with,
being asked to help for an hour then either left to cope alone for a whole event,
being asked to help then not being ‘trusted’ to do anything or not being given clear roles,
not knowing what the money being raised is going towards- shout about what your raising for/ what your paying for,
money going towards things people see as a waste of money eg buying pizza for teachers, new cups for visitors or massive treats for just one class,
too many event that involve a lot of parental support.

Events that went down well,
Evening talent show where each class did an act with a bar and a bbq
Mothers Day/Fathers Day/Christmas Shop so kids can buy a gift for loved ones,
Raffle for front row seats at Concerts

Ours runs discos, cake stalls and secondhand uniform shop.

They talk to one another but happily chat to anyone.

I think there is often a bit of a sneery view of ‘well I am not like those women; I am far too busy’ sort of view.

So again, i didn’t even find it fun as a child. I remember having nothing at home to donate or bring to the fair in the first place so had to guilt my mum into buying stuff for it. Which is ridiculous.

Agree. I don’t really understand PTAs or know enough about them.

I just feel schools should be fully and sufficiently funded by the government. I find it hugely disappointing that things like this are needed.

So some children can meet Santa in a grotto (their only opportunity).
So the school choir can feel proud by singing some carols to the public.
So children can have fun playing novelty games like hook a duck or throw a beanbag at a (cardboard) snowman.
So children can make a Christmas decoration that they get to take home.
So children can buy a new book for 20p from the book sale.

I mean obviously not everyone enjoys doing those things so they aren't compulsory to attend.

You made my point.
They raise funds which gives them a say on how it's spent.
So not necessarily what the school deems necessary but what the PTA wants

Ok the only thing out of your list that i’ve seen at xmas fairs is maybe the xmas decorations.

Our donuts were free, paid for by the PTA. Van parked at one entrance so you could leave by the other if you didn't want to walk past with your kid

I didn’t hate the PTA but I couldn’t cope with the constant calls for volunteers, via letters, via email, via WhatsApp and via coming up to me on the once in a blue moon I was able to pick my son up. No, I don’t want to volunteer because I’m at work, full time. No, I can’t come into school and man the stalls, no I won’t spend hours baking buns and no I can’t come to the fair.

All PTAs are filled with busybodies with too much time on their hands, constantly demanding money from parents and organising events no normal person wants anything to do with.

See that sounds better arranged. We have 2 entrances at our school and there were donut stalls at both of them.

I’m another one that feels the dread of all the fairs, I go because I don’t want DC to miss out but I’d honestly rather just give them £50 or whatever they want. Otherwise I don’t have any ill feeling towards the PTA, it’s people volunteering their time to do something that probably needs to be done by someone (who is not me).

My experience across three different primary schools. The PTA were all stay at home mean girls who seemed to have children in the school for 20 year, not even exaggerating on that point. They bullied the teachers, totally ruled the schools.

Your school fairs didn’t have a Santa grotto or games?

Well it's all down to who organises it really.
Not every school fair will be the same.

Should that have been you are being unreasonable?

I joined the PTA when my son began school. I enjoyed it as I had lots of friends on it doing the same and we worked together and did a lot for the school and our kids.

Ended up being secretary for 3 years and honestly it gave me confidence in talking at meetings and asking (begging 😂) local businesses for raffle prizes. It’s so important as otherwise there would be no money for end of term discos, play equipment, sports pitches etc etc etc …..Honestly parents moan but the fab people that give there time make school better for their children (and our own which is why we do it)

I don't hate PTA but yes I can see our childrens' PTA described here. Tbh a school shouldn't depend on PTA but sadly often do.

Sounds like your PTA isn't very good at organising Xmas fairs then.
We do all of that, plus you can drop into your kids classroom to look at the displays which parents who work a 9-5 can never normally do.

Plug the obligatory second hand uniform sale which really helps families who maybe can't afford new

I’d happily contribute a good whack of money if I didn’t have to make anything, remember to bring something in, or attend any events. I understand they need to be at 1530, but most of the parents work, so have to take holiday, juggle work responsibilities, etc. I’d prefer it adults didn’t have to attend and did it on the last days of term when the school always has a half day (during normal school time, but not missing education).

Years of emotional blackmail to join from the very small PTA at my DC school. Working parents asked if it was possible to make some meetings evening time. That didn’t work for the SAHP who liked to meet in the middle of the day. Great opportunity for them to be martyrs. Always lots of working parents for Christmas and summer fairs but we’d get ignored by the PTA members.

This. PTAs shouldn't exist cos that's what taxes are for. In some schools pta dare to even put their nose into the actual business of educators and tell them how to teach. To most other mums they just look like busy bodies with too much time on their hands. Typically judgy cliquey sahm. So there's prejudice against them.

Ok well lots of children do enjoy them. There’s always a line of excited children waiting for ours to open and go in.