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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this racism?

379 replies

cooooola · 07/07/2026 13:13

Basically I was at the pub in the pub and nobody was behind the bar.

I was first in line.

An elderly couple come and and then another man who slams his glass down.

When the bar lady asks "who is first"? I replied me.

The elderly couple say "we have been waiting ages".

And the man next says "I didn't see her".

I felt this was due to me being mixed race.
I felt quite intimidated.

I only popped in for a drink whilst OH has the kids.

I feel any shaken up as the only ethnic person in the place.
AIBU

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Naunet · 07/07/2026 17:04

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 16:03

It's not going away because racism is now normalised.

Don't be ridiculous, we live in one of the most inclusive, none racist countries in the world.

milveycrohn · 07/07/2026 17:08

It happens to us all the time.
My DH and I are both white british, but if DH is at the bar, the whole world will get served first. It's so infuriating.
If I am there at the bar with him, I'll say something, for the simple reason is that it gets so infuriating for others to get served first.
In our case, it could be Ageist (we're both retired), except it's happened all the time we've been together. I've concluded it's something about DH; maybe an unassuming attitude etc

greenspaces03 · 07/07/2026 17:10

Even if it was, don’t take it personally

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 17:12

Gorse · 07/07/2026 16:37

The only victim mentality so far in this thread was in the OP.

Opinions may vary.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 17:14

Naunet · 07/07/2026 17:04

Don't be ridiculous, we live in one of the most inclusive, none racist countries in the world.

So you say. I disagree.

BatchCookBabe · 07/07/2026 17:14

He was there first, he wanted serving first.

End of.

BatchCookBabe · 07/07/2026 17:16

cooooola · 07/07/2026 16:57

No the older couple were moaning to be about the terrible service.

When the bartender finally arrived and asked "who was first?" the older couple said "We have been waiting ages".

I didn't back down and got served first and stared them and the man out to show I wasn't being intimidated

You 'stared them out.' Honestly, this is how I hear 14 year olds speaking.

You were the problem here @cooooola not them.

Stop looking for a reason to be offended. They did nothing wrong.

cooooola · 07/07/2026 17:16

No I was there first. End of.
I even asked the bartender to look at the CCTV.

OP posts:
Naunet · 07/07/2026 17:17

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 17:14

So you say. I disagree.

You think we're a very racist country? Which countries are so much better than the UK and other Western European countries then?

Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 17:17

cooooola · 07/07/2026 17:16

No I was there first. End of.
I even asked the bartender to look at the CCTV.

Of course you did.

ToWhitToWhoo · 07/07/2026 17:18

I think YABU to assume that it's racism. It could be. It could also be because you're younger, or on your own and not part of a couple or group, or just one of those things: sometimes people don;t get noticed when they should be.

UniquePinkSwan · 07/07/2026 17:18

cooooola · 07/07/2026 17:16

No I was there first. End of.
I even asked the bartender to look at the CCTV.

I’m starting to think this isn’t real now…

Naunet · 07/07/2026 17:18

cooooola · 07/07/2026 17:16

No I was there first. End of.
I even asked the bartender to look at the CCTV.

🤣 for what?!

ToWhitToWhoo · 07/07/2026 17:19

Naunet · 07/07/2026 17:04

Don't be ridiculous, we live in one of the most inclusive, none racist countries in the world.

Possibly, But that may not be saying much, considering what some other countries are like.

cooooola · 07/07/2026 17:20

Sorry the UK is a racist country.
It has gotten worse in the last 5 years.

The same racists who call non white people all the names under the sun but then probably cheered when Jude Bellingham scored against Mexico on Monday 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

I was there first, simple.

The idiot next to me poked his big nose when it had nothing to do with him.

I was served first and asked them to review the CCTV.

OP posts:
BatchCookBabe · 07/07/2026 17:20

Naunet · 07/07/2026 17:04

Don't be ridiculous, we live in one of the most inclusive, none racist countries in the world.

I agree. I get sick of all the accusations of the UK being a racist country. Utter load of nonsense. Try moving to a few of the Eastern European countries, Bulgaria, Russia, Belarus etc, or America, Germany, Hungary, Austria, Finland Australia............. Live in one of them ^ for a year, and then come back and tell me that the UK is a racist country.

.

BatchCookBabe · 07/07/2026 17:21

cooooola · 07/07/2026 17:20

Sorry the UK is a racist country.
It has gotten worse in the last 5 years.

The same racists who call non white people all the names under the sun but then probably cheered when Jude Bellingham scored against Mexico on Monday 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

I was there first, simple.

The idiot next to me poked his big nose when it had nothing to do with him.

I was served first and asked them to review the CCTV.

Edited

Are you OK?

DameOfThrones · 07/07/2026 17:22

Allisnotlost1 · 07/07/2026 17:03

But then it would be really common in speech but not in writing?

Why? Lots of people write as they speak in a relaxed atmosphere like a chat forum.

Naunet · 07/07/2026 17:22

In the last 5 years there has been a growing unease around a certain culture that doesnt blend well with ours, not race. If this example is what you call 'growing racism' though, I think we'll be ok.

hay5689 · 07/07/2026 17:22

cooooola · 07/07/2026 17:20

Sorry the UK is a racist country.
It has gotten worse in the last 5 years.

The same racists who call non white people all the names under the sun but then probably cheered when Jude Bellingham scored against Mexico on Monday 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.

I was there first, simple.

The idiot next to me poked his big nose when it had nothing to do with him.

I was served first and asked them to review the CCTV.

Edited

So the pub was short staffed and you decided to make it worse by trying to get the staff member to look at the CCTV so he could decide whether to serve you a Pepsi first? You sound like the problem here.

EmailEve · 07/07/2026 17:23

Rude maybe, a bit preoccupied and didn't notice anyone else certainly, but racist? I don't think so

DameOfThrones · 07/07/2026 17:23

cooooola · 07/07/2026 17:16

No I was there first. End of.
I even asked the bartender to look at the CCTV.

Such a shame they're not allowed to then.

rwalker · 07/07/2026 17:24

If it was racism at play surely he wouldn’t of asked in the first place and just ignored you

I’m white and couldn’t even tell you how many times it’s happened to me

and having worked behind a bar I’ve often shouted who’s next myself

BatchCookBabe · 07/07/2026 17:24

Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 17:17

Of course you did.

I dunno, I reckon the OP may have asked the bartender to look at the cctv, but he probably told her to get over herself and grow up.

millymollymoomoo · 07/07/2026 17:25

what a load of nonsense.

not everything is racist . In fact most things aren’t.

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