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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this racism?

379 replies

cooooola · 07/07/2026 13:13

Basically I was at the pub in the pub and nobody was behind the bar.

I was first in line.

An elderly couple come and and then another man who slams his glass down.

When the bar lady asks "who is first"? I replied me.

The elderly couple say "we have been waiting ages".

And the man next says "I didn't see her".

I felt this was due to me being mixed race.
I felt quite intimidated.

I only popped in for a drink whilst OH has the kids.

I feel any shaken up as the only ethnic person in the place.
AIBU

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
GreenAlgae · 07/07/2026 14:53

Eyes glaze or slide over the person of colour or just don't register them as Equally Present Human

Same goes for plump middle aged women. Totally invisible.

Backedoffhackedoff · 07/07/2026 14:55

My best friend is mixed race, we grew up together. What I will say is that she experiences quite a lot of racism in pubs (and airports) that I wouldn’t have recognised as a white person.
so it’s very possible

amber763 · 07/07/2026 14:56

People are racist if they didnt notice you? Oh give over.

UniquePinkSwan · 07/07/2026 14:57

not racism. Normal in a bar

talliani · 07/07/2026 14:58

Weird to refer to yourself as an 'ethnic' person. I am mixed race. Everyone has an ethnicity. You sound paranoid which is justified in today's climate, I suppose but this doesn't sound like obvious racism, if at all.

Coconutter24 · 07/07/2026 15:00

Not everything is racism

cooooola · 07/07/2026 15:03

The bar was empty as they were evidently short staffed.

I was first, the couple came followed by another man.

When the bar staff eventually came to the bar to serve us she asked "who was first then?".

I replied me.

Before hand the older couple were talking to me about the rubbish service and complaining to me about it.

OP posts:
Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Naunet · 07/07/2026 15:06

cooooola · 07/07/2026 15:03

The bar was empty as they were evidently short staffed.

I was first, the couple came followed by another man.

When the bar staff eventually came to the bar to serve us she asked "who was first then?".

I replied me.

Before hand the older couple were talking to me about the rubbish service and complaining to me about it.

And you sum that little interaction up as racism because....?

Racism is awful, but so is labeling everyone a racist for no good reason.

Jellylasagnafortwo · 07/07/2026 15:09

Impossible to give an opinion as we weren’t there. If you feel it was due to the colour of your skin then sadly maybe it was.

Dilemma999 · 07/07/2026 15:16

I think it’s just a pub thing. I’m quite small and always get overlooked at the bar but , now that I’m older, have no qualms about loudly saying ‘I’m next’.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 07/07/2026 15:17

No, HTH.

MaCheCazzo · 07/07/2026 15:20

Are you shaking and fumming OP? Have a drink.

🙄

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 15:22

Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 13:28

Don't think it was mate.

This has ceased to be edgy or clever - if it ever was.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 15:23

Tryanalogue · 07/07/2026 13:30

What really needs to be addressed here is your drink addiction.

Drink addiction?

Endorewitch · 07/07/2026 15:25

How can we judge?We werent there.
Certainly it could be. There are racists everywhere. Or it could have been rudeness and lack of manners.
Either way,just stand your ground .

NoisyHiker · 07/07/2026 15:27

I'm sorry madam, it is 2026 and your race card has been declined.

Frankly ridiculous accusations of racism like this are tiresome, even to us other 'ethnic' people.

I have had people push in front of me in bars and restaurants, in a number of different countries. I never assumed it was racism, I assumed those people were twats.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 15:27

Endorewitch · 07/07/2026 15:25

How can we judge?We werent there.
Certainly it could be. There are racists everywhere. Or it could have been rudeness and lack of manners.
Either way,just stand your ground .

Seems fair enough to me.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

put the card away

Are you just trying to be offensive?

There may or may not have been racism. It's impossible to know.

Epidote · 07/07/2026 15:36

I think they were entitled piss takers.They saw a person on her own and took advantage. Regardless of race you will find many of those assholes everywhere and in every situation.

Grammarninja · 07/07/2026 15:42

If someone was racist, they'd definitely notice you there. I think in this case, everyone was just looking out for themselves.

Paganpentacle · 07/07/2026 15:42

ilovesooty · 07/07/2026 15:29

put the card away

Are you just trying to be offensive?

There may or may not have been racism. It's impossible to know.

No.
But I reckon OP is.

Boreded · 07/07/2026 15:47

cooooola · 07/07/2026 13:45

Drink addiction?

Was a Pepsi lol I don't even drink.

I was intimidated by the man next to me who had slammed his glass down next to me and butted in.

The place was awful and hardly any staff.

Elderly is a wrong word, they were more early 60s.

The man was swearing before hand to me about the lack of staff and could see I was first.

If he were racist why would he be trying to find common ground with you?

Atkinsondesperation · 07/07/2026 15:48

Verv · 07/07/2026 14:32

Weatherspoons "says it all" ?

In the UK there's a lot of classism going on and there was no need for this.
Very childish and unnecessary.

Classism is part of being human. Don’t dump it on the UK. That’s UKism.

Averynicelady · 07/07/2026 15:50

Where you went wrong was ordering at the bar in a Weatherspoons

Use the app and the staff will bring your drinks over to you

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