AIBU to consider moving to Wales for family and lower costs

[southerngirl10]

We have been racking our brains about what to do about the following situation for the last year and it doesn't seem to get resolved. Sorry, it's long:

We live in the South East of England. Our ds is 16, our dd is 11. My dh and I are both in our 50s.

We are trying to choose between going to a small village in Wales or staying here.

My dh has a part time driving job which is proving to be stressful. I have started care work part time over the last 6 months, which I'm finding a little bit boring.

We have a gardening business and work in that when we aren't working in the part time jobs. I also have a day where I teach a yoga class and offer holistic treatments. After working so hard, we don't have a lot of savings.

We rent. Our landlord agreed to let us stay in the accommodation until my son finished his exams and then a month or two after that.

My dh has been offered a job near his hometown - driving, but it looks like it might be less stressful. I would then have to find care work until I can build up gardening work and my practice again.

My ds has offered a college place in Wales, near the village ds is from and my dd has been offered a place in a school in our local area here (which has a good ofsted rating) and one in the Welsh village (which is underachieving but is classed as friendly and welcoming).

The kids want to go to Wales. They will have family there and a chance of being in a community.

Rents here in the South East are eyewatering, plus council tax, etc. If we move they would be a fraction of the price. My dd would be able to come home and sit with nanny on days when we are both in work.

We are struggling with the fact that we would have to give up our gardening clients, but we may have to move about ten miles away from our city here in the south east, to afford a new rental, so our dd would have to come home from school and be alone for one or two days a week. She's also have a bus journey.

We just feel that we have been isolated here in the south east of England. The village in Wales is rough and ready, but friendly.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

if you look at the GCSE pass rates for both schools you will see that King Henry is light years ahead. Abertillery has so much distruption its impossible to learn. I know two mums who have simply pulled their kids out and are Home schooling. Hereford sixth form college is miles better than Cross keys and its where the kids in Abergavenny go if they dont want the school sixth form. My advice is that you would be making a huge mistake to send your kids to school in the Valleys, but its your choice.

Being near family is good, but be aware schools and hospitals in Wales often aren’t as good as in England.

It sounds like you both have precarious, part time work. How will you get work in a small welsh village? Will your DH still do loads of driving? Wales is cheaper than the south east but not by miles like it used to be. Far fewer opportunities for your DC when school ends too.

Hereford Sixth Form College is top notch - great atmosphere and great results. Lots of Oxbridge successes plus vocational stuff. It has an excellent reputation. All my DC went there and did well and I now have a GC there who is also thriving.

I live near Brynmawr (Merthyr), and I’m from Bristol originally but I also lived in London for a number of years. First of all no one care about my accent, I’ve had the odd “you don’t sound local” comment but it’s more out of fascination than malice. I love living here. It’s green and quiet and SO much cheaper. We bought a five bed house for a fraction of what the equivalent would’ve cost in England. The A465 (Heads of the Valley) Road between Abergavenny and Neath is now complete and driving around is a dream, everyone has commented on what an improvement it has made to the area. Newport is a dump but I regularly go to Abergavenny, Monmouth and Brecon, all are easy to get to and nice for an afternoon wandering about. Cardiff has lots going on, as does Swansea. There are some stunning beaches in South Wales too.

Id definitely make the move!

What other, more important languages, exactly?
I dont really see how French or Spanish are going to be any more useful to the average pupil.
Maybe Cantonese or Japanese would but most schools dont offer those anyway!

If you just want the general benefits of speaking another language then welsh is as useful as any other, far more so if youre planning to live in Wales. Just because the kids might not come back to their home village doesnt mean there are no job opportunities in the whole of the country!

That old chestnut. Speaking from experience, learning Welsh opened the door for my DC learning other languages in addition to Welsh. They each speak 4 languages fluently and it's helped them in their careers.

I love Wales - and it sounds great for you. We go to North Wales a lot as we’re in Liverpool, have been going since I was a child. I’d go for it.

Yes. I studied languages at uni (not Welsh) and in a practical sense it was my Welsh from school that actually opened the most doors for me when I graduated.

Husband and I upped sticks (south west england) and moved to Snowdonia 10 months ago. We don't have family up here, knew nobody, aren't Welsh, have a cottage needing a lot of work.....best thing we ever did! Now live in a wonderful but very remote community and couldn't be happier. We are late 40's. Be brave!

There's quite a difference between north and south Wales and a particular contrast with Blaenau Gwent.

Those post-industrial valleys can be particularly bleak and the deprivation is stark - it's very sad. It's easy to lump all parts of Wales as one if you're not Welsh.
In reality, there are huge contrasts.
It really might not be in the best interests of teenagers from the south-east. That's a difficult time of life at the best of times.

I live in Abergavenny. We pay our gardener £17 an hour. There is certainly plenty of work to be had. Brynmawr is not a terrible place to live by any stretch, lots of folk send their kids to Crickhowell high from there, which is one of the top performing schools in wales. For sixth form you’ve also got the option of Hereford sixth form college which is excellent, if you don’t fancy coleg Gwent. I would move if the kids are keen, that’s half the battle.

I wouldn’t send your daughter to school in abertillery. If crick is full, then go to king Henry, which definitely has places.

That’s shocking, what happens to people who don’t have access to a smart phone? They may be in a minority but they do exist. My In laws don’t have one. I’d be contacting my MP to ask what can be done. It’s preventing people from accessing health care.

If i had the choice to stay where i am or move to wales. It would be wales nearly every time.

Area dependent of course.

It’s where we spend a lot of our holidays. I always say I’m going home when we leave to go there 😅

Very small thing to point out- some of the valleys feel geographically very claustrophobic. You can find your house is permanently in the shade, because of the orientation and the mountains.

I wanted to move there- I’m from Newport- but we realised we wouldn’t find a house and garden we liked in a community we liked, because of the geography.

Also, remember with the gardening go allow enough time for travel from wherever you land.
And there are still some blokes there my age (mid 50s) who have attitudes out of the ark and think they are God’s gift 🤣😅 One was on our table on my last holiday and man it took me back.

I’m sure there are blokes like that all over England too.

I’m sure there are. But it felt very familiar, and reminiscent of a couple of my relatives and of being young in that area. Maybe more about who we mix with/are exposed to, in adult life.

I first went to the valleys with dh in the 90s. I'm originally from eastern europe. I saw similarities with the Welsh. The world has changed since then and I would like to think, so has Brynmawr, Abertillery, etc. Our ds came to Abertillery last year and join in with footie training. The boys were lovely and so were the coaches. He's always supported Wales in every sporting event and, though he was born in England, has always considered himself Welsh. He loves the sense of humour and the way people can laugh at themselves. Where we are in the south east of England people can think too much of themselves to be like that. Please don't shoot me, just an observation.

Do we need the divisive comments?

Is £17 ph the going rate. We charge £28 - 30 ph here

From what you have described, to me the question is where exactly in Wales you should move to (which village or town).

Be prepared to learn Cymraeg as well.

It wasn't meant to be divisive. It was my personal observation. Most of the people in the south east of England who I've met are lovely. I just find the Welsh a little more light hearted and playful? Please don't be offended, it's just my own observation.

The only thing that would now stop me frlm
moving to Wales is the state of the NHS. It’s bad in England but even worse in Wales. Friend who lives 7 miles into Wales had to wait two years for a hip replacement, in the English hospital 7 up the road the wait is 20 weeks. She had to pay to have it done as there’s no way she could have waited that long. I know that’s only one story but there are many others.

That's a big reason we want to move. The whole family want to learn it. Every country should be proud of their language

Probably on the lower side, but things are generally cheaper here. We pay our cleaner £15/hr. I would think £20-23 probably possible if you market well. A lot of people starting out here seem to go in with a lower starting point then hike prices after 6 months!