AIBU to consider moving to Wales for family and lower costs

[southerngirl10]

We have been racking our brains about what to do about the following situation for the last year and it doesn't seem to get resolved. Sorry, it's long:

We live in the South East of England. Our ds is 16, our dd is 11. My dh and I are both in our 50s.

We are trying to choose between going to a small village in Wales or staying here.

My dh has a part time driving job which is proving to be stressful. I have started care work part time over the last 6 months, which I'm finding a little bit boring.

We have a gardening business and work in that when we aren't working in the part time jobs. I also have a day where I teach a yoga class and offer holistic treatments. After working so hard, we don't have a lot of savings.

We rent. Our landlord agreed to let us stay in the accommodation until my son finished his exams and then a month or two after that.

My dh has been offered a job near his hometown - driving, but it looks like it might be less stressful. I would then have to find care work until I can build up gardening work and my practice again.

My ds has offered a college place in Wales, near the village ds is from and my dd has been offered a place in a school in our local area here (which has a good ofsted rating) and one in the Welsh village (which is underachieving but is classed as friendly and welcoming).

The kids want to go to Wales. They will have family there and a chance of being in a community.

Rents here in the South East are eyewatering, plus council tax, etc. If we move they would be a fraction of the price. My dd would be able to come home and sit with nanny on days when we are both in work.

We are struggling with the fact that we would have to give up our gardening clients, but we may have to move about ten miles away from our city here in the south east, to afford a new rental, so our dd would have to come home from school and be alone for one or two days a week. She's also have a bus journey.

We just feel that we have been isolated here in the south east of England. The village in Wales is rough and ready, but friendly.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

I think it sounds that one the whole, your family would benefit from moving to Wales, especially as your husband has family there. If the children want to go too, I think it would be a beneficial move for you all.

You would be able to build up gardening clients again in Wales, depending on the size of the village. Where in Wales roughly would it be?

Thank you for your reply. Not far from Abergavenny, Newport area is also not too far away. We just worry about making enough money to live on, but it is one of the cheapest rents in the UK.

We are also worried about our dd. She will leave city life for a small valleys village. She has an English accent, but family have told us that wouldn't really matter these days.

Where exactly as I live close by ? You also have to take into consideration gardening fees will have to be reduced as you won’t get highly paid rates here.

Definitely move to Wales. I don't know anyone with genuine reason to move who has regretted doing so.
Good luck.

Brynmawr. We get £25 - £30 per hour in the south east of england. We were told, £20ph in Abergavenny or Newport.

Thank you. The Welsh are so friendly. I'm just frozen with fear about moving into the unknown. Lots of 'what-ifs' at the moment.

I'd go to Wales. We live in North East Wales and would rather be stuck in Wales than the South East any day of the week.

Tell the kids thst you’ll try it for a few years to see if it works. Give it a go. If it doesn’t work, rethink.

How often do you see your gardening clients?

Could one of you pop down and find a b&b for a few days every month? Keep that going while you build things up elsewhere?

I know it's a lot of travel, and you may have already ruled it out, especially given you have children.

It's just that I'm 53 and my dh is 59. If we were ten years younger our ages wouldn't feel so important in the 'getting the next job if we need to' stakes.

We thought of finding other gardeners and giving them the jobs while we take 10% for finding them the jobs. I have noticed that working as a gardener has become quite trendy around here. We are having less work. Hopefully in Wales it's following the same trend without so many people doing it.

I’m currently making a similar decision with my DH for us and our 2 children.

what really helped us was, asking ourselves that in 10 years time when we look back will we be glad if we did go, or if we stayed.

for us going makes sense….

Abergavenny/Monmouth/Hereford ate the more affluent areas around there of you can travel for gardening work.
A friend lives that way and couldn’t find a gardener so sounds like there is demand. Still think she looking for a regular one tha isnt a garden clearing type service but a more trim the flowers and lawn type

Personally I’d move

Yes, we are both RHS qualified and our main service is garden maintenance. We have clients here in England who have been with us for 15 years. Dh is building a website directed at the affluent parts, areas local to the village he's from in Wales.

My family are from Brynmawr, I will agree that Abergavenny/Hereford are indeed more affluent but Brynmawr itself isn’t.

If you were both English and knew nobody there, then I’d advise a bit of caution. But knowing that your DH is from there, and that you have family there, I’d jump.

I’m in Newport (the nice bit!) I’m looking for a gardener to regularly maintain hedges and can’t find anyone, so I’d be interested in your services if you’d cover my area if/when you come and could recommend you to others

There is a lot of deprivation in Blaenau Gwent, it is one of the poorest areas in Wales. If you don't mind the problems that come with that and already have contacts locally through your DH, it could work. That said, Id try to live in Monmouthshire if possible, especially with DC. Avoid Caerphilly and Caldicot. Also, do any of you have any health issues? The NHS is devolved in Wales and really not great in that area as the staff can't cope with the demand. Not the staff's fault, but poor political decisions and there is sadly a huge link between deprivation and poor health. In terms of gardening clients, target Crickhowell, Abergavenny, Chepstow, Monmouthshire generally and the naicer bits of Newport.

Thank you, that's really kind.

Thank you for some great info. I have been to the town where my dd will go to school - Abertillery. I know the area of Blaenau Gwent has issues and is poor, but I've never met such nice people - I have travelled quite a bit. We thought about living elsewhere nearby but the schools are full - Crickhowell, Newbridge (which would been perfect). My daughter is very intelligent, so would have liked a different school, but you have to have an address first.

If you had no connections there I’d advise caution but with your circumstances I’d go, especially as the children are keen. You can build up your gardening business when you get there.

Something about your posts - not sure exactly what - gives me the impression that you want to do it but are hesitant by nature.

What about your parents? If alive, I guess they’re elderly. Will you be expected to be back and forth to Englsnd to visit and help?

Good observation HouseHouseHouse7 I used to be braver, but have become hesitant when big decisions are involved. I'm not from the UK originally, so no ties the south east England. I was attracted by the holistic scene, years ago.

I'm afraid of the stories of the valleys that I've heard from the past, but the world has changed. School have become a little more diverse and welcoming, even in the further out valleys towns.

I’m further down south in Wales than you would be but agree what generally people here are friendly and mine and my older kids English accents haven’t been an issue with anyone.

I love living in Wales, but I don’t have children. A note of caution from me: Welsh education falls short of the world average, and is the lowest standard in the UK. Someone else has mentioned the NHS, last time I looked every NHS trust in Wales was in Special Measures. It really shows too.
Aside from that, you may find yourself paying much more to travel as public transport is terrible.

But if the above aren’t dealbreakers, it’s a lovely place.

We moved to Wales from the South East 25 years ago. I've never regretted it. Wales is beautiful and the people are warm and friendly - we've never encountered any anti-english sentiments.