AIBU to consider moving to Wales for family and lower costs

[southerngirl10]

We have been racking our brains about what to do about the following situation for the last year and it doesn't seem to get resolved. Sorry, it's long:

We live in the South East of England. Our ds is 16, our dd is 11. My dh and I are both in our 50s.

We are trying to choose between going to a small village in Wales or staying here.

My dh has a part time driving job which is proving to be stressful. I have started care work part time over the last 6 months, which I'm finding a little bit boring.

We have a gardening business and work in that when we aren't working in the part time jobs. I also have a day where I teach a yoga class and offer holistic treatments. After working so hard, we don't have a lot of savings.

We rent. Our landlord agreed to let us stay in the accommodation until my son finished his exams and then a month or two after that.

My dh has been offered a job near his hometown - driving, but it looks like it might be less stressful. I would then have to find care work until I can build up gardening work and my practice again.

My ds has offered a college place in Wales, near the village ds is from and my dd has been offered a place in a school in our local area here (which has a good ofsted rating) and one in the Welsh village (which is underachieving but is classed as friendly and welcoming).

The kids want to go to Wales. They will have family there and a chance of being in a community.

Rents here in the South East are eyewatering, plus council tax, etc. If we move they would be a fraction of the price. My dd would be able to come home and sit with nanny on days when we are both in work.

We are struggling with the fact that we would have to give up our gardening clients, but we may have to move about ten miles away from our city here in the south east, to afford a new rental, so our dd would have to come home from school and be alone for one or two days a week. She's also have a bus journey.

We just feel that we have been isolated here in the south east of England. The village in Wales is rough and ready, but friendly.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Another vote for Wales.

Any change is scary but it sounds like your family are keen and to be honest, it just sounds like a nicer prospect than your current situation. I do love Wales though.

Labour (devolution) has ruined schools and the nhs in Wales. So if your daughter is intelligent it would be worth keeping a close eye on this- that she is reaching her full potential.

As has been said, levels of deprivation are high, education and the NHS are dire.

The Valleys especially get a LOT of rain and it's bleak and cold being as high up as Brynmawr in the winter.

There are wealthier areas in Monmouthshire, Abergavenny and parts of Newport - if you're prepared to travel for work there'd be potential to pick up gardening clients.

I'd spend a bit more time there before you decide, especially in the winter. It's easy to romanticise Wales, the reality of some areas might not be the best thing if you're used to SE England. People are friendly, but there are also still some very traditional attitudes.

Labour are not in power in Wales anymore.

@Squirrelintree why would you avoid Caerphilly out of interest?

I would move OP, it makes a lot of sense. Good luck with it.

The reason education and health are below par in Wales is down to the unfairness of the way Wales is funded. It’s to be hoped the Plaid government can change this. Also Westminster has refused to devolve control of crown estates in wales to the Welsh government unlike in Scotland. This means Wales is missing out on £200-300 million of funding a year.

Id look into the likely weather given that you work outdoors. I know everyone says if always rains in Wales, but there is some truth in this. My parents’ area of Wales experiences far, far higher rainfall even than when I was growing up. Trades are very frequently rained off and the conditions make it hard to work even when not rained offs

Pretty sure it is the poorest - was certainly one of the poorest areas in the EU when we were members and that EU money was never replaced post-Brexit.

Firstly, there are only 2 NHS trusts in wales, the rest are health boards. Secondly, only 1 or 2 have ever been in special measures to my knowledge. (Ex NHS Wales staff)

And as for education, it depends what you are measuring. We measure what is easy, and which provides means to compare, not what matters. The Welsh approach to education is far more holistic and skills based than other UK counterparts and our early years have mirrored Scandinavian approaches for a long time now.

I think you should bite the bullet and move to Wales. It's friendly, community minded and although there are pockets of poverty and deprivation, there are all over the UK. For me, the scenery, the beaches, the mountains and the people all make it worth living in Wales.

We moved to south Wales from Berkshire. I was a bit worried about the allegedly unending rain, but actually when I compared the weather data I found it wasn't accurate to say it "always rained".

Where we are now we have the same number of hours of sunshine, the same number of days with and without rain, and the temperatures are very similar (fractionally milder). The only significant difference is in the amount of rain that falls. I'd say it rains about as often in Wales as in SE England; it just rains harder.

How are those of you in Wales coping with such a poor health service. I’m so sorry to hear it. My family were in wales for generations, it never used to be that way. As we age, we need access to healthcare as part of our peace of mind.

Gold plated PMI.

Tbh I’m totally missing the point but why are you only teaching one yoga class a week, it costs a lot to train as a yoga instructor! You should/could teach way more no? Otherwise I don’t see the point in that training.

I live in Wales (around 20 mins from Newport). I love living here! Abergavenny is lovely, as others have said Blaenau Gwent is a deprived area although will be cheaper housing costs.

What does your post mean?

Pardon me, I’m not exactly clear headed as I’m recovering from being hospitalised for sepsis after my local cancer centre gave me chemo while I had clear signs of infection.

I should say every health board is under some form of government escalation. Mine infamously turns down help from England on principle, while endangering the lives of vulnerable people like me.

It’s a dangerous mess, and quibbling over wording doesn’t change that.

Not great. If I’d had a crystal ball I’d have gone back to England, which has its problems too, but the death rates are higher here. Every appointment is a battle, a new set of mistakes for me to add to my list of ‘things I have to monitor myself’. And most of it isn’t about nurses being too busy (I was one myself once upon a time), but about them treating patients like things on a conveyor belt.

Sorry to be a misery, OP, but the NHS here is downright dangerous.

Is it worse than where we are at the moment in south east england, though? Our doctor's surgery uses an app, which I struggle understand. I phoned the receptionist and she told me I have to use it, they don't take calls anymore. My dh told his mother in Wales and she was horrified. You can still phone to make an appointment.

A high (and expensive) private medical insurance policy.

Huge shortages of GPs, dentists, specialists. Health boards aren’t replacing people that leave to save costs leaving hundreds of graduate nurses and midwives without jobs. Health visitors in one health board have been on strike for 19 weeks.

I’m from the wider area. Brynmawr is on the edge almost of the Brecon Beacons and can be very bleak in Winter. As others have said education and health are far below the standards of England.
The countryside though is beautiful as is the nearby coast.
It sounds like a good opportunity for you and DH.

Completely agree with the NHS here. You wait on average 13+ hours in A&E, with people in extreme pain and some passing out.

I recently had to go private for an operation because a scan showed if I didn’t have something removed it was literally going to kill me in a matter of days. The NHS told me regardless of this, the waiting list for the operation was 3 years…

“The Welsh”, just like everyone else, are mix of different characters and have good days and bad. We don’t like being reduced to simplistic stereotypes, even positive ones.