AIBU to think I might have a nervous breakdown in the jungle

[Writer034]

My partner, my kids and I are going away on a bit of an exotic holiday and will be staying, amongst other things, for one week in a small private retreat which is on a jungle island and built quite literally in the middle of the jungle.

It's en eco resort where they don't believe in harsh chemicals (which I agree with) and try to coexist with nature. I came across it because I'm a writer and someone invited me to a writing retreat there, I couldn't go but checked out the place and fell in love with it based on the stunning photos and videos available on the net. It's got amazing Tripadvisor reviews and so I booked the whole thing, not giving much thought to where it's located (I just thought of it as, 'lush vegetation', not 'middle of the tropical rainforest').

Now, it's almost coming up to the trip, I'm starting to seriously panic. It's for the first time sinking in that we are going to be IN the jungle, and while there are some very cool things - monkeys, hornbills, geckos - there are also snakes, spiders, mosquitoes galore, and our accommodation - being based on authentic Malaysian architecture - is kind of like a giant tree house. It's really pretty and artistic, set in 7 acres of jungle with two stunning saltwater swimming pools, but on the website itself - which I have only for the first time read properly this week! - it clearly says if you're scared of the jungle, don't like insects etc, then this is not the place for you.

I've travelled a lot when younger and have hiked through what's called the outer jungle in Peru, but only for one day (didn't spend the night) and wasn't really scared at all, but I worry I'm going to feel completely trapped somewhere where I might just lose my mind if I see a massive spider in my shower or whatever. The retreat is meant to have a 5* service and incredible food made by, essentially, a private chef who cooks for each family individually (there are only 8 rooms) so there's much to look forward to, but I just keep thinking, Jesus we will really be right IN it. Not next to it, not close to it, but INSIDE it. Most of the accommodation is kind of open to the jungle (in the bedrooms, you can close the wooden shutters and turn on the air con, but otherwise the living quarters are very immersed in the rainforest)

I haven't shared my concerns with my kids as I have to model adventure spirit....I wonder if my 15 year old daughter will join me in the nervous breakdown. My partner says we'll be fine, famous last words. The resort has been there since 1996 so they absolutely know what they're doing and in fact it's owned by two Brits who were born in Malaysia and who have been wonderful to deal with (the woman is an artist and this is their former home). And yet, and yet, who's going to save me when I trip over a gigantic tarantula lol.

Any thoughts - anyone on MN, who's a real city person in normal life, gone somewhere like this on holiday and survived the trauma of various exotic fauna :-) ?

That's an amazing recommendation, thank you!

It sounds like the trip of a lifetime. Many people would love to be there. Whatever you need, there will be a servant on hand to deal with it for you so don’t worry.

I wish I could say this is the only example of me doing inexplicable and illogical things, but it's not!

I stayed in a basic lodge in the Amazonian jungle years ago - totally open to the elements bar a mozzie net around each bed. It was magical (and I say this as someone who truely hates spiders) - it did take a day or so to adjust but if I had the chance to do it again I would. You will have stories to tell for years from your trip, and you will feel so proud of yourself for doing it despite your fears! It sounds like a fabulous holiday

i havent even got bloody aircon in my house think i'll come with you

Thank you. It's not really a servant type of situation, it's more like staying as someone's guest and they're very generously looking after you almost as though you're family.

You will probably be absolutely fine. Take incense and mosquito coils and plug ins to deter insects. Your husband or local staff can be in charge of spider removal if there are any.

You will probably be way too caught up in staring at the gorgeous jungle beasts you came to see, to even notice the smaller beasts.

You’re a very, very lucky lady and all the envy of many reading your post, but I accept you feel the way you feel what to do take a small pack of cozy things by that I mean a book or a game or the product that you can use and switch off from where you are. Many years ago when I went travelling, I’d meet USA people who couldn’t cope and they used to go into a hotel and check in for 24 hours just to get their home comfort anyway.

I spend a week with my husband in a wooden hut style jungle lodge in Peru on our travels ten yrs ago, far from luxury, and yeah there were bugs. But my husband managed to chill in the hammock without getting massively bitten, I did get bitten by mosquitos even with a sleeping net but it's not horrendous. Worst thing was feeling a pinch in the pool and a bug had clung onto my back, my husband didn't help when I asked if something was there by going aaah! Aaaah! And flailing away. Wasn't even a big bug!

But in general the worst thing about the bugs is the noise, there was one loud one, I spent ages searching for the source of the noise and finally found this tiny brown thing on a leaf emitting the most dealing click and whistle.

Don't recall seeing many spiders or geckos etc, and felt nice and safe in the net at night.

I genuinely don't think you have anything to worry about. I stayed in the jungle on Langkawi a few years back and we had no issues with insects at all - I don't remember even getting bitten by mosquitos (to be fair they don't really like me!). The only issue we had were the cheeky monkeys trying to open our balcony door. That was funny rather than scary. Overall it was a fabulous experience.

I’m just back from Borneo where most of our stays were separate nice lodges “in the jungle”. I’m struggling to know what to say. I don’t think we actually had any insects or wildlife in any of our rooms other than the odd gecko. We took a plug-in insect repellant for the bedrooms which helped with the mosquitos. But yes the jungle is full of life - that’s the point really. If you want somewhere with fabulous service and wonderful food I wouldn’t be going there.

No, I'm a novelist who writes literary political-themed thrillers. I assure you nothing to do with travel or this resort.

I have camped I the Malaysian jungle. It's fine. I mean, ants nibbled at my cotton knickers when I hung them up to dry after washing them, but it's still fine.

• Don't leave any uncovered food about - that can attract insects and rats, and then snakes will come after the rats. (We were camping for weeks, though.)
• Check inside footwear before putting them on. Use Deet (though I had some roll-on repellent which brought me up in huge welts, so be careful with it. Strong formulas can affect plastic, too. Sleep under mossie nets, cover up in the evenings. If you go trekking, watch out gor leeches.
• Take a thin raincoat. When it rains, (which was about the same time every afternoon when I was there,) it really rains, which explained the depths of the gutters in BSB when we arrived. (Obviously no gutters in rural areas.)

I am assuming you're not going to be collecting and purifying your own water. Nor digging your own long-drop, so you've got it easy. ;-)

Agree with taking antihistamines and a basic first aid kit with antiseptic wipes. Get your travel jabs, too. If you're going up Mt Kinabalu, it's cold up top.

There are poisonous things out there, but they don't want close encounters with you any more than you do, so you'll probably be lucky to see them.

The most annoying thing is the sound of the jungle at dawn. Those "calming jungle sounds" relaxation soundtracks sre rubbish, what with the insects and birds that sound like alarms, chainsaws and a whole variety of buzzing, grating things.

But it's still brilliant.

Wow, sounds lovely. Personally I’d be concerned about mosquitoes as they’re probably my the biggest pest but it all sounds as if it’s tried and tested, so I’m sure you’ll be safe.

Thank you, I'm glad to hear your experience was good. This place already has fantastic service and food. It's the creepy crawlies that worry me. The resort use natural methods (coils etc) and the rooms are sprayed every day with natural repellants, but we'll probably bring a suitcase worth of our own too :-)

Will I be 'guest zero' haha

Ive a massive fear of insects and spiders and i lived in the Australian outback for 4 months and you kind of just cope. In all that time i only seen two snakes and two massive spiders. The rest was just smaller non deadly bugs which got squashed on sight 😅

Thank you!

Looks terrifying OP. I wouldn’t risk it, you’ll definitely all die. Just send the tickets to me and I’ll dispose of them safely for you.

This is a bit of a 'tight diamond shoes' problem isn't it?

The amazing once in a life time adventure that you were able to pay for without much thought (because presumably had it been a huge, shattering amount for you, you would have thought it through first) is stressing you out because it's going to be... Exactly what it says on the tin.

You'll be fine. Practice gratitude, it will help you put things into perspective

I stayed in several places like this in Malaysia years ago in my 20s, I travelled around on my own. There’ll be moths and mosquitoes, just tuck the mosquito net in around the mattress, you’ll be fine. There were always little lizards pottering around, I loved to watch them. Don’t recall any massive spiders in the month I was in the jungle. The only thing I didn’t really like was the leeches. Make sure you cover up whilst walking in the jungle, especially your feet and legs but I got one on my shoulder too somehow.

Goodness, that's quite a feat! When I went to Oz and one time in Morocco, in the Atlas mountains, the biggest pest were flies - like hundreds of them, I remember taking a nap covering my face with a sarong!

Absolutely do not rely on this.

It smells nice and it's fine to use it as well as a DEET insect repellent, but don't assume you can use it instead of a proper mosquito repellent. I've been very badly bitten while wearing Skin So Soft.

Love this response. I know my post may look silly, but I'm really scared of bugs, and have literally started to wake up in the night thinking, omg what have I done 😂

Thank you. I didn't think of it that way and you're right I should approach it with more gratitude. It's not an inconsequential expense for us at all, I just really wanted to do something memorable with my children who are growing up too fast. But I totally take your point.