AIBU to feel uneasy after seeing nursery staff handle my toddler?

[Pinkstuffs]

Went to collect DS 2YO from nursery this evening as usual. He was playing outside, I stood on the decking for a second watching him playing to see if he would notice me. When I was watching a staff member who had her back to me snatched the toy he was holding in a really rough way and yelled at him to share in a really nasty voice. She took the toy over to another girl who was playing with something else and was shaking her head at my DS and saying something I couldn’t hear.

AIBU that this has made me feel really uneasy? Generally the nursery seems good and DS is happy about going but they have had a lot of staff changes recently. The staff member I think knew she was wrong, when she noticed me there and realised I had witnessed the whole thing she went red and turned her back to me, didn’t say anything else. I know DS is not perfect and he needs to share but it was tone of her voice and roughness when taking the toy off him that surprised me. I’m not sure how and if I should approach it with the nursery staff either?

Can you just move nurseries ?
Not to worry you but when my ds was 3 (a long time ago! ) I saw similar the manager at his nursery was right in his face almost snarling at him saying something I couldn’t hear-they were in the outside area and I was watching as was early, I then saw her pull him by his arm sharply and shout at him he couldn’t have snack again the next day.

I complained and she then reported ME to social services saying she had witnessed me acting abusively and that she thought he was being neglected . We had a full child protection investigation. I wish I’d just never said anything and hadn’t sent him back ever again.

Shouting nastily and snatching roughly, not ‘speaking harshly’. And if OP is too afraid of confrontation to mention it to nursery then moving them is a suitable alternative. But really she should just mention it and stand up for her child

Please make a huge effort to get over your fear of confrontation and dealing with a difficult situation for yours and your children’s sake.

Confronting an issue doesn’t mean getting angry and losing your cool but being firm and clear about your position. Look out for some assertiveness training, even reading books with about how to be assertive will help.

My parents were both hopelessly passive and let people walk all over them and I learnt to stand up for myself in my early teens when our bitchy neighbour had a go at me for no reason. She was used to my parents letting her get away with all sorts of nonsense but I’d had enough! She was stunned into silence and never tried to hassle me again.

In this case, use some of the ideas on this thread and practise saying them out loud in front of a mirror and then do it for real. The more often you do it, the easier it will get.

You owe it to yourself and your children!

Have a word with the manager. If you don't like confrontation, approach it as "I was a bit concerned that one of your staff (who I haven't seen before) seemed at the end of her tether when I picked up yesterday, getting cross with the kids. I know it was a long, hot day, but I thought you'd want to be aware." It might well turn out that she was an agency fill-in, in which case you might be quickly reassured that she's unlikely to be there again.

I don´t get this long hot day thing (seen repeatedly on this thread), we have long hot days from May to October in my part of Spain, so screaming and snatching at kids is ok because the weather is warm for 5 months?
A professional who works with small children has to have certain skills and tools at her disposal in order to manage children and realistic expectations.
You have a kid op so even though sometimes we are shocked into silence by events there is no excuse for following up when something doesn´t sit well. It is literally your job as a mum.

I totally see why you can’t just scoop him up and remove him from his childcare place when you have two dc there and a job of work to do. But I do think other posters are right that you need to report this factually and quickly. What happens next depends on how well they deal with your complaint. You need to know how they investigated and what they’re doing to safeguard your child.