To not attend this party as it’s at the child’s home?

[hiddenforest]

Normally I love a kids party but this one is in someone’s home. When this has happened before I find it so stressful trying to make sure my children don’t accidentally break something or go somewhere they aren’t supposed to.

Wow.
The majority of my DCs parties (both ours and their friends) were at home.
No one turned down invitations.
I don't recall anything being broken.

Maybe the difference is that whole class parties weren't such a thing back then.

Why the ‘wow’?

If your child got overwhelmed and distressed at soft play, or was terrified of water, or had recently broken their leg so trampolining was out (which was actually the case with one of DS’s friends for his birthday) would you be dumbfounded and speechless with disbelief that someone might decline on that basis?

No one is criticising their choice. It just probably won’t work well for us at this time.

Does your son know about the party? Will he be upset not to go?

I don’t think he’ll mind particularly.

I am genuinely a bit lost as to why this thread seems to have provoked a number of quite ill tempered and peevish responses. Some seem to have taken it as a personal slight on their choices to hold parties at home, as if I am suggesting that is somehow not good enough, there have been a lot of replies defending the home party, a number of suggestions that ds lacks boundaries and that i am an indulgent and poor parent, ignoring his rampaging.

Then there is much faux sorrow for the poor birthday child and suggestions that I have messed the family around.

It is just really peculiar. I am trying to work out why it has provoked those responses and perhaps it is because an out of control child (albeit through over enthusiasm) combined with an opportunity to scorn expensive party venues is like catnip for a lot of MNetters. Who knows. I am quite sure that had the party been at soft play and I declined because it’s just nasty darling the responses wouldn’t be quite so quarrelsome!

OP, well, since you asked, I think the responses you mention have been due to:

• it is very uncommon for a parent to turn down a party invite because they think their child will be out of control and rampaging at a party, unless the child has serious behavioural or developmental difficulties. I'm sorry you think it's snide when people say this to you.
• home parties are very common, so people are puzzled that an invite to one has created an issue for you.
• it's July, so the party will probably be at least partly outdoors - even if you think it won't.
• most important: you came on Mumsnet to ask people's opinions! `Which they honestly provided. You just don't like the opinions.

Of course you should do what you want, this is a storm in a teacup and it will matter not a jot in the history of your son and the birthday boy's lives. So go ahead and turn down the invitation! But don't be astonished and angry that 97% of Mumsnet thinks YABU.