Should I dump my boyfriend because he won't stop eating crisps?

[Spicyseniorita7]

I'm in a relatively new relationship (7 months) after over 2 years of being single with some dating disasters along the way. Everything seems great on paper, he is kind, has a good job that pays well, not bad looking, treats me well and never allows me to pay for anything. For context, I am 28F and he is 32M- we both live separately at present. I would like to settle down soon.

I'm unsure if I am self-sabotaging, but some of his eating/snacking habits disgust me, to the point that I think I've developed the ick. This came to light properly on our recent 2 week holiday-prior to this, the longest we had spent together was about 3 days. He eats at least 3 packets of crisps per day and not the sophisticated type i.e kettle chips, think more Skips/monster munch/Nik naks/cheesy wotsits/space raiders. He doesn't wash his hands after eating the crisps and requires prompting to do so. This often results in him having disgusting synthetic crisp dust all over his fingers and fingernails.

Even more disgustingly, after he's finished with a packet, he arches back his head and empties the remnants of the crisp crumbs into his mouth. It's almost as though he cannot bear for a single scrap to be wasted. But the most disgusting is sometimes, after finishing a packet, he will blow up the packet like a balloon and pop it. This has resulted in me being sprayed with crumbs. I've also found scrunched up crisp packets wedged behind his bed, almost as though he can't be bothered to walk to the bin.

We recently went on holiday to Spain and it was mortifying-he didn't try any local food and just wanted to eat British food, McDonald's and crisps. We went to the supermarket and he loaded up the trolley with crisps. I haven't said anything yet, he is keen to start looking for a flat to rent together, but I just can't help but thinking I would prefer a man who doesn't eat over 3 packets of crisps a day and doesn't smell like pickled onion Monster Munch or cheesy wotsits. Is eating all of those crisps a dumpable offence?

You can end a relationship for any reason and if you're looking at him with disgust, then it's over already.

Personally I think someone's personality / character / how they treat you etc is far more important than what they do or do not eat. And if someone does something annoying you can always try asking them to stop.

Yes you should dump him and going forward remain single.

Haha this made me think of that ad for Tyrell’s who make tirribly tirribly good crisps. Would it be ok if he ate posh crisps? I have to say if I wasn’t ancient, health conscious and prone to acid reflux I’d be on the nick nax and marmite flavoured walkers. How much does this matter to you OP? Is it worth having a good honest conversation with him? One of my family members lived on crisps and junk
until he met his now wife. My brother in law was the same until he began to feel yuck. A lot of blokes just don’t think about these things and do change their ways as they mature. He does sound great in other respects. Personally I’d give it a try before you decide.

Apologies for imprecision - I should have said 'there may well be other unwelcome surprises'. I was writing loosely, late at night. I hadn't meant literal certainty.

Just on the basis of the crisps anecdote, I was thinking along the lines of:

> being anxious about major life changes - such as buying a house together, redundancy, the disruption of having a child

> finding compromise difficult

> sticking rigidly to rules and routines in ways that push all the need for flexibility onto the other partner, or insisting that the partner follows 'the system', e.g. how to load the dishwasher correctly

> anxiety assuaged via maladaptive coping mechanisms, such as obsessive hobbies or workaholism

> communication challenges, including disproportionate sensitivity to perceived criticism (for example if he were asked not to lick his fingers in front of other people).

I've since read the OP's point that his mother does all his washing and that he's had an awful lot of support at home. It sounds as if he needs quite a bit of structure. She shouldn't slide into a caring role bigger than she'd bargained for.

If she is crazy about him, and can give him what he needs without it feeling like a heavy burden (and he can give her what she needs too), then great.

I don’t think she has the right to bring it up. If someone did that to me (particularly if I sensed they were with me for money and were expecting to be financially supportive) I would dump them.

She is looking for someone to financially support her and presumably do the domestic stuff as well. Not sure what she intends to bring to the party.

Having a restrictive diet does not mean any of those things are likely. It’s a bit insulting to those of us who have eating disorders which manifest as fussiness but are also fully functioning, successful adults.

Not sure what she intends to bring to the party.

Kettle Chips, apparently…

Absolutely agree.

And the attitude on here that if you can’t eat every single type of food out there then it makes you immature or thick really pisses me off.

Nobody has a restricted diet for shits and giggles.

OP, you are only 28. You can throw the dice again, more aware of what you need in a partner. He will find somebody else too.

A partner can be kind, sympathetic, earn well and still make your daily life smaller and more labour-intensive. A partner can be solid financially, but implicitly expect mothering in return. Your instincts are telling you 'no'. Listen to them.

OP wants a meal ticket. Unfortunately she ended up with a snack ticket.

Crisps were always my vice as a kid.
It got to the point when I realised just how many I was having, so I made the conscious decision to limit myself to 3 packets a day.

Allow me to weigh in as a seasoned veteran.
Tipping the remnants of the packet is a MUST. I used to also tear the empty packet open and lick the seasoning from the inside.
Fingers: suck to enjoy more of the seasoning.
Hands must then be WASHED, not left sticky or wiped with a tissue.
Inflating and popping the packet, dumping them under the bed or wherever, strict no. It's akin to littering imo. I don't understand how people can even do these last three.

I think the crisp thing has put you off so much because you only feel lukewarm about him anyway and are just looking to 'settle down'. You are thinking of moving in with him but your list of his positive qualities is really bland and two of the positives are about his financial situation. You should move on to someone who excites you more and then little things like crisp eating won't carry so much weight.

Why not ask someone to demonstrate it for you? Then you’ll know whether or not the OP exaggerated.

The banging the bag at the end is pretty cool. Not the other stuff.

You're not going to be settling down soon then are you, so either accept thats what he does and move in, then when you do the shopping dont buy crisps, alternatively ditch him now and find another boyfriend.

Tipping the crumbs out of the bottom of the packet into your mouth seems normal enough I always have, you are going to have to be a lot more tolerant if you're going to live with a man.

Best start getting yourself a few cats, you must be intolerable to live with

Best start getting some cats, you must be intolerable to live with

I can see why you are single!

I can see why you are single! Apart from a huge intake of salt and whatever else,can't see the problem. And I had no idea crisps had a class system haha! Sophisticated crisps,whatever next...

He should not let you pay for everything,women should pay their way.

OP expects him to pay for everything and won’t tolerate him being stingy if she’s on mat leave as she’s a low earner and he is well off.

My ex DH used to do this, but he also cut up cheese cubes and put them in the bag
then would wipe his greasy fingers on the chair

writing this makes me realise this was much worse than the 23 years of other abuse he subjected me to

Who are you. Im not sure this post is legit. You sound very entitled. Relying on someone to support you. We live in a different era now. You have to be self reliant now. Never trust that anyone will look after you.

agreed! pass me the monster munch!