AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

What is it with entitled rude people these days? Is it the heat maybe?

I’d have filled in any gaps if I possibly could have, but I wfh and I love animals. Also, as PPs have said, there’s neighbourly relations to think about, but her rude retort when you helped her out as best you could would have turned me against her!

Definitely not your problem.

Totally unreasonable of the neighbour. The cat should be booked into a cattery. End of problem for everyone. We have always put our cat (we've had 6 at different times) in a cattery every single time. \it's her problem, never yours.

Good grief: OP and her son have both said they can’t look after the cat. End of. It doesn’t matter what the reason is - they have said no. There are normally any number of people on Facebook offering cat-sitting services - the neighbour sounds very useless. Failing that, a cattery. Next door neighbour is being v unreasonable with her repeated requests - no means no.

Not if they are busy and not around! They’ve told her they can’t do it.

my just finished exam kids would have said yes immediately. Because they are nice people.

Suspect I'm not the only one wondering if all the kids being hypothetically volunteered here might have a different answer to the one their parents are giving...

Op can’t help.

You don’t owe her anything but i think i would have helped out for the first week! I don’t even like cats but its not really a big deal to pop in twice a day and make sure it has food and water! Its next door fgs!

Not sure if this has already been suggested, but has she tried the Cat in a Flat app? It can link you up with willing people who live locally who will come and do whatever you need doing for your cat while you’re away. For a fee of course.

Ive used it before and it has been great as the people registered on there are real cat lovers who enjoy the task.

'Am I being unreasonable to say I can't check my neighbour's post for them while they're away for a fortnight?'
''Maybe, it's not that much effort is it, and you might need a favour back one day'
'But I'm an astronaut and I'll be on the International Space Station at the time! And last week they spat in my face after running over my dog! Why is MN disagreeing with me?'

My DS has changed his plans for the next three weeks to work around feeding a neighbours cat after they were let down by cat sitters. However, the reason he was willing to change his plans was because she offered him the full £750 she was paying her sitters and it’s just feeding once a day and emptying the litter trays once a week (they have about 8 trays for 2 cats).

If the OPs neighbour hadn’t offered such a ridiculous (almost rude) amount of money then maybe her DS would have considered changing his plans. He may not have, and he absolutely doesn’t have to, but he certainly wasn’t going to do that for just over £1 per visit!

I would help her out for a week cats are easy it will take 5 mins twice a day ...

There will be catteries, she probably just doesn't want to pay what they cost. And local ones might be full at this stage so she'll have to go further afield, but what choice does she have?

If she were a good enough neighbour and had never given me any issues to make me dislike her then I'd help her out if I could, but only if it didn't put me at any massive inconvenience.

Cats are pretty easy. Pop in once a day, change water, bung food down, rinse bowls, job done. This assumes there are no litter trays involved and the cat has a cat flap, or will be coming in for food in the evening and staying there until you let it back out again (or vice versa) next morning. Or that you can leave the cat outside with access to an open shed or garage or something so you don't have to hang around waiting for it to come in before you leave. But it will be hungry so probably waiting for you anyway.

It's hardly a huge chore and if you are a couple of hours late one day the cat isn't going to die or bark the place down, is it?

Honestly the number of people who aren’t reading the OP’s posts. It isn’t that Op doesn’t want to help, she and her son can’t, without majorly rearranging their lives. I am happy to help my neighbours when I can but only if I can realistically do in around everything else I have on.

Op I suspect the neighbour wasn’t intending to be rude and this is a time when nuance and tone gets lost over text. If that had been an in person conversation the tone would probably have sounded quite different. I hope at least - or possibly she is a massive CF.

I’ve just received another text saying ‘have you asked your son again if he will do it? I will have to cancel my holiday if he doesn’t. Thank you’

At least I got a thank you this time. 🙃 I’m not replying as my reply wouldn’t be very nice. I feel like telling her to fuck off, obviously I won’t.

Thanks for all your responses. I need to do some work now. So many cheeky people around who think their own plans are more important than other people’s. Her cat is lying in my garden with one of our dogs, oblivious to the drama. 😂

It’s not your problem, but cats really are piss easy to look after

Technically yes they are if they're outdoor cats. But that doesn't appear to be the case here

Yes I’m always surprised that people don’t bother to read all the OP posts to get the full picture before laying in. Neighbour is being very unreasonable now trying to guilt your son over her problems.

I would reply, and just say he can't because he wont be here. She's liable to keep asking if you don’t.

Tell her to ring a couple of local vets, they often know local sitters or vet nurses sometimes do it as a second job. Also recommend trusted cat sitters or whatever it is, or to ask for recommendations on your local Facebook group. There are more options to exhaust than just your son!

It’s not your problem, and it would also be nice to help. Is she offering to pay your teen? Most would jump at the chance in that scenario
edited to say, sorry I didn’t rtft

Wow!
In my experience there's always loads of people who advertise cat sitting, we've never had a problem getting one - If we're prepared to actually pay a going rate.
It won't be that she can't find anyone, it's that she can't find anyone who is willing to do it for a quid a visit, which is 10% of the going rate!

I think it’s fine to say no, but I do understand her panic if she’s been let down (but she is being rude though!). We usually have MIL come in for our cat and I was really panicked when we were going away in March for the weekend and she was struck down with flu. Our neighbour actually did step in at the eleventh hour, and I was so grateful. I’ve fed his cats previously, and although it was only two days he got a very decent bottle of wine and a giant Easter egg for his trouble. He ended up popping back at bedtime to give our cat a cuddle which was obviously not part of the deal but very sweet of him!

RTFT

I need to see if I got this straight...

Because the neighbor is too cheap to pay a cattery to watch her cat, the OP and her DS should re-arrange THEIR schedules and what they want to do, so this neighbor doesn't miss her holiday?