The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

I’ve always said that the first drink is a choice but after that it isn’t, I just don’t have an off switch. I can make the decision not to have the first one though. Life is a lot better.

Hi all, just found this thread. I had to give up drinking last year due to unrelated health issues of which it exacerbated the symptoms. After I felt better I started drinking sometimes but eventually it made my other health problems worse again so I gave up again. It definitely does me no harm to give up as I did use to like it a bit too much. It's been a couple of months now 😊

Thanks all!

Hi @remembranceofthingspast. Well done on two months. How has it been?

It definitely gets easier @VanGoSunflowers. The first six months was the hardest, plus Christmas and a holiday. I still find it challenging at times but more the whisper of oooh I could moderate now. It wasn't that bad! Which is of course a lie because I'm so much happier now.

Congratulations @Lavrander! Happier, healthier, inspirational, and £2700 the richer too!

@Lavrander fantastic achievement. Vet girl now!

Hello @remembranceofthingspast - I am glad you've found us!

@Lavrander - you've nailed the bit that's hardest for me too, the "you can moderate... you deserve it... go onnn..." little wheedling voice. Clare Pooley calls it the "Wine Witch", I call it the "Vodka Voldemort"; either way, they are poisonous lies from toxic liars. They catch us when we least expect it. Little gits.

Sid is very happy to greet new members; he loves meeting new people and making friends. Here he is, taking a break from re-powdering the cannons, happy to say hello to shipmates old and new.

Strength and courage. We can do it. xx

I've been chucking out old Tupperware. Some of it had the DC cooking labels on from school (tears from me going soppy) but gosh its liberating. Who knew? as a messy slattern I didn't.
I'm so excited to be second viewing the cottage tomorrow. I fancy mallard green in my study. I might even have my toile wallpaper up I've been saving for 24 years. I only have enough fabric for cottage length curtains. I hunt in vain but there is no more to be had. After the Brazilian girls I'm getting a taste for decluttering.
I spend my money on clothes or house stuff and I enjoy doing so.
My booze costs were legendary so I feel no guilt. I am sending back the fabulous linen dress from jigsaw as it didn't fit.

Congratulations @Lavrander !

welcome @circe94 and @remembranceofthingspast

Morning all.
The dog and his ear shakes are back. He woke me up. One Yorkshire tea had.
I went to sleep straight off, didn't hear the DH.
I got up at 5 am for 33 years to commute into London. Perhaps it's my natural time if I'm not unwell?
Three weeks of the new drug and I'm doing so much better.

Morning shipmates

Vodka Voldemort indeed! I'm seeing friends this weekend - first time I've visited in a while and I'm sure they don't know I've given up. I've always been driving when I've seen them lately. I'm prepared to feel a little awkward. She'll be supportive or won't think much of it but he'll have questions. He's very opinionated . I distinctly remember being annoyed last time I went because I took a bottle and they'd only bought one! Mr Moderator I would call him in my head.

@Adsy1988your spa sounds absolutely glorious.

Hellooooo, I’m back albeit with a slightly different name. No prizes for guessing who I used to be 😉
Fresh name, fresh start.
Ive been drinking quite a bit recently, but Im really not enjoying it apart from the social aspect. Ridiculously I’ve proved before that I can navigate that beautifully with a Lucky Saint in hand and a smile on my face. I’ve signed up for 10k in 6 weeks time and I really want to make a difference by then. 6 weeks AF is totally achievable as a first goal - I’ve done it before!
Will catch up on the thread shortly x

Good morning shipmates,

So very glad that you're doing much better @WendyWagon - that's brilliant. Sid does the ear shakes - they're like little pistols going off sometimes. And he taps the floor with a leg when he's doing it sometimes too. He's a muscly lad and ofttimes I think the neighbours must wonder who's doing all the banging.

@Lavrander - Mr. Moderator can s~d right off with any pert opinions. It's absolutely none of his business and you don't owe him anything by way of explanation or excuse. Hopefully it won't be too awkward and he'll behave himself. Anything you could use to distract/deflect booze-focus ("How ARE the penile warts these days, Nigel?")...? 😉

Welcome back @WhatMaggieDidNext - good luck with the 10k training. Sid is getting into the 10 metre training after the heatwave, hehe. Had a lovely long walk last evening and am planning a forthcoming Devonshire holiday (where Sid will once again be able to enjoy his favourite "Police Interceptors" on the big holiday telly) and a possible trip to haunted forest of terrifying sometime MN thread. Good to have plans, to distract the mind and keep a reason (amongst all other reasons) to be sober.

Strength and courage shipmates. All shall be well. xx

Congratulations @Lavrander !
I'm not far behind with 14 more days to go for my one year anniversary as well.

Will also be departing for my third holiday without booze having navigated Christmas and Easter holidays. It's odd how I get a bit jumpy and anxious pre holiday thinking of how it will be without alcohol - even though I know exactly what it's like now. But after a day or so I get into the swing of it and banish those thoughts of chilled wine from my mind.

I think holidays do create a bit of having to work at it as on a beach holiday you are constantly surrounded by people drinking throughout the day and evening.

Yes I'm the same @Kipperandarthur! It's everywhere. Hard at restaurants when they come out with the shots with the bill as well - my eager to please self hates turning them down. I do sometimes feel like my desire 'not to be rude' will be the thing that sends me back. However, being ready for the thought helps.

I agree those free shots at the end of a meal are a bit of a killer aren't they?!

I just smile and give mine over to my partner to quaff both.

Can my dog join us to? He doesn’t drink alcohol, but he’s been my best bud since I got him just over a year ago and he is a very good boy.

Interesting to hear about the wine which (I also like the term Vodka Voldemort)
That will be me on Thursday when my friend comes over. “Just have one or two, it’s been a tough week, you don’t even need to smoke with it” and the next thing I know I’m a bottle of wine sank and 20 cigarettes gone and a staunch feeling of self loathing

That's exactly why you make the firm decision to NOT have the first one. Then the rest doesn't follow.

It's so true that if you just stand firm and don't have that very first one, then obviously you don't have the second and the third or light that cigarette and then smoke the packet.

There's also a huge sense of achievement in batting off these occasions and getting more and more experience under your belt of handling them.

He's very lovely @VanGoSunflowers - most welcome. ❤️

So glad the temperatures have gone down where I am. What a crazy few days. Hoping for some normal summer weather before the next heatwave hits.

Congratulations @Lavrander on one year yesterday, amazing achievement and I'm so impressed with how encouraging you've been of all of us here throughout your journey.

Welcome @circe94 I had a similar journey into sobriety last year.Was drinking too much , couldn't moderate and was having occasional blackouts. Can confirm that life while still challenging is way better without those.

@Kipperandarthur thank you, that will be my aim on Thursday and I’m feeling optimistic that I can do it. It’s about habit building for me I think. I’ve slowly been removing the association between alcohol and other things over the past year and managed to cut down to drinking once a week from maybe 3 times a week. My problem always being completely unable to stop at one. I have two friends that I still associate seeing with having a drink, one that comes to see me every week, the other I don’t see as often but I’m going to try and arrange to meet her for lunch instead as there won’t be alcohol involved then.
I think I’m quite lucky really that I’ve always been an emetophobe as that’s what’s always stopped me drinking more than one bottle (or equivalent!)

Does anyone else want to share how their relationship with alcohol started?
For me, I first got drunk at the age of 16 when I was on holiday and I hated it so much that I didn’t drink again until I was about 22. I was always the designated driver! Then I rediscovered social drinking around that age and it kind of went from there. Alcohol and cigarettes was my favourite combination of a treat! That was 20 years ago and I just so desperately want to feel healthy and have energy!

I was drunk from 14 onwards @VanGoSunflowers parents both big drinkers, worked in an industry where drinking is rife. It’s been a complete epiphany to me how incredible life is without the booze.
What a fake facade drinking is, poison is not my friend!

You need a thread pseudonym for your beautiful boy x

Mine is a bit dull but probably very common. It just crept up, and up. Until I realised that a) I was sad, and b) getting fat, and c) would never in a million years have been honest about how much I was drinking in a week if speaking to friends.

It just wasn't compatible with how I imagined myself to be and how others imagined me to be.

Edited for spelling

I was stealing vodka from my parents’ from the age of 13 onwards. I’ve been a heavy drinker since I was about 18/19 up until I stopped just shy of my 37th birthday last year.

I had been trying (and failing) to quit for about 2 years and 4 months before this. I’ve relapsed once but other than that been sober since 20th July 2025.

I started drinking in 6th form. I’d had a rough time through school with bullying and found my tribe in 6th form. We’d go to parties and pub quizzes - never got completely hammered but I felt so much more interesting, engaging and confident after a drink or two (now in my 50’s I strongly suspect ADHD/autism). Uni was very drinky (as to be expected) and then onwards to adulthood. Both my parents died in the last couple of years, my Mum from dementia and my Dad from cancer. I’ve definitely self soothed with wine since, my Dad loved his red wine and it’s all to easy to crack a bottle open and raise a toast to him. However, I’m terrified of Alzheimer’s and am certain that drinking had an impact on my Mums diagnosis. You’d think that would be enough to stop me…
I’ve always enjoyed drinking until now, but now I find it just doesn’t serve me well. I’ve put on nearly 3 stone, get palpitations and poor sleep, have lost my ability to concentrate and generally feel unfit and unmotivated. I need my mojo back!