To un-invite friend from dinner after she sent me message by mistake

[Dinnertext]

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

Saturday afternoon seems like a good time to have a thorough clear out of the cupboards and fridge. And what an unfortunate time for the tv remote batteries to die

Yeah OP that’s a good idea, have you thought about asking at all? If you do, please make sure to update us

😭😭😭

Brilliant 🤩

Both husbands are massively unsupportive

Wow, how disloyal to you and derogatory to women in general.

She shoukd have apologised, not dug her heels in. I don't blame you at all.

I woukd not be happy with your DH about his attitude at all.

OP, I think I would message on Saturday at teatime saying you've cooked your own dinner with your inferior ingredients and given yourself diarrhoea, so they'll need to watch the match elsewhere as you will be staying on the toilet chugging on the pepto bismol. Cheeky fuckers, the lot of them.

Best answer yet 🤣

It is understandable to feel hurt, but you might want to clarify if the message was intended for someone else before making any final decisions.

You could try reading all the OP's messages, there's a see all button.

Yes, I am guessing it wasnt OPs DH who did the food shopping and cooking...
Otherwise he wouldnt be so blase about it.
Wants a simple life, I get that but still - how is he happy to keep these kinds of friends?

Love it, genius!!!

Hide the tv remote then go out for dinner with your friends 🤣

Best advice.

A take away from their favourite Italian restaurant...pasta ? would be a very tactful choice - not !

I was expecting you to say Chinese / Indian, not Italian !

How is that rude. She obviously has ibs or gastro issues etc

Don't be a doormat OP. Tell her you don't invite rude snobs and that she's uninvited.

She soon told somone else rather than you so not so Miss polite as she likes to portray herself.
Dump her shes not not a friend.

It sounds as if she is trying to say OP is a not very good cook, in the most diplomatic way she can come up with. I would imagine that, for example, if OP uses a lot of cream in her mains that would be an ingredient the guest might not use. Heavy starters, creamy mains, and a heavy/fatty desert would cover "ingredients they wouldn't use". Some people are leaner eaters.

@mulberrymilk What's diplomatic about telling other people that she needs pepto after eating at the OP's house?

I'm sure you have to tell OP to go to a spa, this being Mumsnet 'n' all 🤔

Exactly.
It's about as 'diplomatic' as a slap across the face with a wet haddock 😕

I’m a bit confused as to why you’re so offended. You had your friends over for dinner, and it sounds like the food made them feel quite unwell. Your friend’s only crime was telling someone else about what happened and being worried it might happen again.

Frankly if I was you, I’d be more upset that I’d contributed to their illness somehow - whether that’s just because they are not used to eating rich foods or not. I don’t necessarily think the comment about where you shopped was meant to be a put down - sounds like she was trying to blame it on something innocuous rather than the way you’d prepared the food so you wouldn’t feel as responsible.

At the end of the day - you were not the one made extremely unwell, your friend was! You really are not the victim here.

I wouldn't see her or speak to her again until she apologises, nor would I have her in your home.

Why not suggest your husband go to their home, or a pub to see the game? Tell him you won't have her at your house until she apologises, so only he can come around.

From the OP's original post she says -

" We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food."

but her "friend's" text says -

"I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning"

Which suggests that OP's food regularly gave her indigestion/heartburn/diarrhoea.
So why did she not speak up sooner ?
And where's the proof it was OPs cooking that was the problem in the first place ?
Maybe "friend" and H have IBS or gluten allergy or something ?

Anyway OP now knows "friend" + H have a problem and won't be inviting them any more.

Sorted.

Wow. You need to very clearly say to your husband that neither are coming round on Saturday. The "usual female drama" is very rude of her husband as they've not acknowledged how rude she was.

If he wants to watch the match so badly with him then they host and just he goes.

But if my husband behaved like that I would be very hurt and would find it very difficult to come back from. In these situations you need solidarity.

Bad manners are never ok, telling people someone’s food made you feel ill is rude. And joking about it - even worse. The friend displayed disrespect and a lack of gratitude towards the hosts
Good manners would have been - not to tell people that the Ops food made them ill and then they should have politely declined the invitation. Manners are always important.