How can I divide my estate fairly between daughters and grandchildren?

[Ilikesundays]

Would really appreciate your views! I’m in my 80s and have three dds and 7 gcs. All are over 20. Two dds are married: one has 3 DCs and one has 4. Youngest dd is unmarried and has no children. I want to make my will and be fair to all of them. I was thinking of leaving all my property (f/h house, no mortgage in London + fairly substantial savings) to the gcs + the unmarried dd and nothing to the two married DDs. But on reflection this seems very harsh and unfair to them . How would you manage it? They are all working, bar two gcs who are still studying p/g.

Just split equally between your daughters. The grandkids can inherit from their own parents.

Surely you split equally between your children and they decide what to do with their own children?

why would you split equally between your children and grandchildren? That doesn’t seem fair at all

If you are determined to include your grandchildren, then leave them each a token amount. It’s up to their parents to leave them an inheritance (or not)

In my opinion, the only fair decision is split equally between all 3 children.

I think this is the right decision by far. Chances are your childless DD will also eventually leave her estate to her nephews/nieces as well as their parents doing the same for their children… so all the GC will eventually benefit but this saves ill feeling

The fair ways to do this, is either split equally between your daughters, or split between them all, or what my grandmother did was split her assets between her children and left savings split into equsl
amounts between her grandchildren.

I wouldn't overcomplicate it . You have 3 kids and I would split it equally among them.
They can then do as they please with regards to the money ie. the two that have children can gift to their kids now, later or not at all. I would give sentimental items to those you want to in your lifetime. This is what I intend to do someday.

Why would you leave the daughters with kids nothing?

Life/things can change v quirky and they could become destitute after illness or divorce and there is no faster way than that to unravel sibling relationships

Presumably the thinking is that the GC receive their mother's 3rd of the inheritance. This might make sense in some circumstances. Although OP hasn't said that there is a reason to do this, I can think of a few reasons why you might.

Ask.
Start from the assumption that each daughter gets a 1/3. Then ask the daughters if they’d prefer their 1/3 to go straight to their children to save on one lot of inheritance tax.

If it helps, my granny gave the grandchildren each a sum of money and then the rest of the estate was left to her 3 sons regardless of their circumstances. Similar situation to yours as there are 3 children and 7 grandchildren. Everyone was happy with her decision as far as I am aware.

The usual thing to do is to divide it equally between your daughters. Obviously you can do what you want, but anything else will cause questions and possibly offence. It is then up to your daughters what they want to do with it. You might consider a fixed lump sum of a few thousand pounds to each grandchild, depending on how much the total is, as a nice gift. Then divide the rest equally.

You can do deed of variations of wills (up to I think 2 years post death), so any daughter would vary so some part of her share goes to her own children instead.

You need to leave your 3 daughters the same amount. If you also want to leave money directly to your grandchidren, then that needs to be separate to the equal amounts that you give to each daughter.

You could do something like 75% split equally between your children and then 25% equally between the grandchildren to be held in savings until they are 16/18. That way, if there are any future costs for care for you or for a funeral, Capital gains tax, inheritance tax etc the split is the remainder after all expenses have been paid. By using a percentage it allows for changes in circumstances

My grandparents on both sides split everything between their children plus a token cash amount to each grandchild.

I thought it felt fair as our parent have been able to support us through major life stages as they see fit from their inheritance but it was also nice to have a small amount directly to put into my rainy day fund.

Because we only got a token amount I don’t think there would have been any issues if there had been any whoops babies later as it wasn’t a significant sum.

But they are all individuals. My children and GC are all my descendants so why can't I acknowledge that?

As my dad said to my brother who has 4 kids (myself 1) tried to get split equally across us and GC. Dad said no i look after my kids and you look after yours. Their choice on number of kids they decided to have.

I would leave the money to my daughters in equal shares unless one of them was married to a scumbag in which case I might miss them and leave it to the grandchildren of that daughter in trust so he couldn't get his hands on it (very easily).

My DH's grandmother took what I thought was an odd approach. He had one aunt but she'd died and had two children. Instead of leaving half to his mum and 1/4 each to the two cousins, she left half to his mum and split the other half between all the grandchildren so the two cousins didn't get much.

I'd divide it 3 ways so each of your Daughters gets the same amount & let the ones with kids give them a share of theirs if they want to.

I think the idea of 1/4 each to each of your DDs, and then splitting the final 1/4 equally into 7 between the GCs makes sense - everyone is treated fairly and you ensure the GCs all get something directly as well.

It's the OPs wish that the GC should inherit something. Maybe she doesn't want to leave that to chance.

Excellent.

please don’t get into who earns what in working out what you hope to leave anyone. Your off spring are (or should be) all equal in your eyes as their Mum.

my MIL in the final months of her life changed her solicitor from the longstanding family one, to my SIL’s GF’s one and added in SIL’s children because MIL said she knew SIL would spend all of her inheritance and MIL wanted something left for the GC on that side.

So that ultimately left less to the remaining direct adult children. Added to that was SIL emptied the house out of all newer items and tools before the Will was read.

just leave it equally to your children and let them sort out what’s required.

So, your own mother left part of her estate to her great grandchildren, leaving out your children, and you were thinking of also leaving out two of your three children.
I'm glad you have had a change of heart. It would be so hurtful to your two daughters to be left out twice.
Also as another poster has said, your married daughters may be OK now (but who ever really knows what's going on in other people's lives?), but they could split from their husbands or suffer bereavement, anything can happen.

However you leave your assets, the beneficiaries could make a deed of variation after the event, but that could also cause problems.

You can, if you want to. You can do whatever you want.

In response to OP, who invited comments, I can see the needle for the childless child if their inheritance is massively reduced because their siblings chose to have children which they can't then afford (to give the life the OP wants them to have) and so the Will is drafted to divide between them all.

Also, if the children and grandchildren all receive a share of the inheritance, the grandchildren could one day end up with more than the childless child because they will have their own share of their grandparent's inheritance plus their parent's share when their parent dies.

I'd say a small lump sum to each grandchild wouldn't be so bad, and then divide equally between the children.

Ultimately, the OP asked for suggestions. That's my take on it. Everyone is free to do whatever they want. I'm not the childless child but I wouldn't want my childless sibling inheriting less simply because they couldn't or chose not to have children. Also, what's to say they won't have children in the future?