AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

What I find sad is that the neighbour, who is supposed to love her cat, and is responsible for its wellbeing, puts her holiday and saving a few bob, above the cat's welfare, having abandoned it to utterly unsuitable last minute arrangements.

I find it sad that people having made a request, don't respect a perfectly reasonable 'no' in response, and seek to abdicate their responsibilities to other people.

Of course he hasn't! He's come onto a thread which was posted a week ago with many updates from the OP but after only reading OP's original post thinks that his sanctimonious drivel is original and hasn't been posted numerous times by the 'be kind' posters.

OP's CF neighbour's treatment of her extremely elderly neighbours and their carers is a much more worthy candidate for receiving a scathing rebuke about showing basic kindness than OP and her son.

My god, the reading comprehension on this thread....

Honestly, I'd just call the rspca and report him abandoned.

I don't find it bizarre at all to rue a lack of kindness in this thread.
Because there is a lack of kindness in this thread.

Kindness is overrated and mostly used to coerce people, usually women into doing things that are against their best interest.

'Be kind' is weaponised language, designed to forced others to do what you want, usually something you should be doing or paying for yourself or worse, something that gains them something they should not have.

There was definitely a lack of kindness shown by the cat owner towards her cat, and also towards her neighbours, particularly the elderly couple with carers that she eventually shuffed her responsibility for her cat on to. Including medicating the cat.

I'd agree with you there.

I find the people that shout the loudest about kindness are the ones who usually benefit from it, as opposed to those they're seeking to guilt trip into whatever it is they want done for them and theirs this time.

It's just all too easy isn't it? 'Be Kind'. Regardless of what is going on in your life, 'be kind'. Just put this one one little thing onto your life load ' - 'Be kind'. . . Especially if you're a woman of course, then it is your sacred feminine duty to 'be kind'. . .

Notice you've not answered the question about whether you'd read the updates or not...

So if you'd taken a week of leave from your work (or your 2 jobs in the case of the OPs son) and planned to go camping sometime in that week, you'd cancel your plans and stay at home for the week so your neighbour could go on a holiday instead?

Oh, another group of fans of 'be kind'. . . those that volunteer - not themselves, of course, others. Say, their partner (often their wife), or their child, or indeed some other younger person, such as their neighbour's child. After all, their time and labour isn't so important, is it? So, they get the nice rosy glow of 'being kind', without being at all hampered by the actual donkey work. It's a win-win!

It's always so disconcerting when the domestic appliances go on the blink, and start coming up with error messages, like 'no'. Whatever happened to being kind?

Yea I too find the be kind trope to be a right pain in the ass.

At a school night out a few years ago a mum mentioned that she had been asked to do a regular child favour which she said no to as it didn't suit.
Another mum laid it on thick about "being kind" and it wasn't a big ask at all.

She was a bit lecturing in her tone which I noted and inwardly raised my eyes to, but the conversation moved on.

Two days later it turns out that the woman who was asked forwarded on the number of the lecturer as she could possibly help as apparently it wasn't a big deal.

The "be kind" mum was very pissed off and came straight up to her at the gate to ask why she had done it.
Sadly I wasn't there to see this but she was told very sweetly that she had said the ask was no big deal so she had passed her number on.

She later told me later that it will make the pompous cow think twice about lecturing another mother to "be fxxking kind".

She so went up in my estimation and that of a few other mothers.

I love women who don't take hostages😁

Sounds like this previous cat sitter never existed and it’s all part of her plan to manipulate you and your son into doing it for next to nothing.

Especially as you and he have suggested multiple decent solutions to her.

She’ll just have to cancel her holiday then!

That you, Ellen DeGeneres? Read the OP's posts. I think you'll find the lack of kindness was from the neighbour towards her cat, and towards the elderly couple and their carers who she flung the responsibility for caring for the cat for two weeks onto - all because she was too cheap to pay for proper cat care.

I think the problem here, op, is that many people seem to be reading can’t and assuming you mean won’t. Says much more about them than you!

That’s absolutely brilliant

100%

It really is! Love it @Wagyue

Hi all. Not much to update, but when I got home last night the cat was in our garden and came in the house as soon as I opened the doors at the back of our house. I gave him some chicken as I wasn’t sure how much he’d actually been getting fed and then popped over to see the elderly neighbours when I saw the carers were there. The carers said they had tried to feed the cat morning and evening but he hadn’t come every time they had called so he has missed a couple of meals and therefore medication. The cat had followed me over so they gave him his medication and he ate some food with them then. The carers said that the cat hasn’t been in the house at all and the elderly neighbours had hardly mentioned him, so it’s all fallen on the carers to remember. I asked if cheeky neighbour had been in touch and she hasn’t.

God your update fills me with rage -One of my cats has severe arthritis and requires daily medicine, i worry so much about my animals when away but especially my cat. And i pay a fortune to get them minded - i would so report her and give her a peace of my mind when she back
She doesnt deserve the cat

Thanks for the update. Do let us know what the carers say to CFN upon her return!

You are a saint. Not only is your neighbor a moron a lot of posters on this site are unbelievable. It only takes a second but if you are home who will feed that poor cat. I would turn her in to someone

I would text her and say appalled I was at her treatment of this animal.

Thank you for being kind to the cat, your CFN should be utterly ashamed of herself.

I know. I felt really angry last night when I found out she hadn’t even been in touch to check on her cat, meaning she has completely ignored the text from the carers saying it was too much for the elderly couple. For all she knows, the cat isn’t being looked after at all. My dogs are with a close friend who loves having them and I’ve still been checking in a couple of times a day.

I will let the cat sleep in our utility room for the next few days and nights if he wants and lead him over the road at mealtimes if he finds his way over here. He often sleeps in our garden.

I will give some thought to reporting her.

So pleased you fed the cat, but really the poor thing is not getting its meds regularly. Does CF leave a key with anyone? I would suggest saying you are reporting to rspca, or she provides a key AND money upfront, for sons friend/ cat sitter to feed the cat. I cannot imagine leaving a cat like this. She is a dreadful person.

Wow how awful! She obviously doesn’t give a fig about her cat. Definitely reported as abandoned x