To not want to exercise

[beewaspfly]

help me out here. Wrong side of 40, in the thick of perimenopause. All of my friends, and I mean all, have started exercising like crazy in the past few years- even the ones I’d least expect. My GP keeps telling me I HAVE to start strength training or I’ll have an unbearable later life.

but…I don’t want to. It’s just so tedious. I hate the gym, hate PT even more, hate classes (have tried several), hate home work outs, even the short ones. I don’t get any endorphin rush from it or whatever. The prospect of doing it ruins my day - it’s better if I do it first thing but even then I hate every minute.

id rather just be walking somewhere nice, meeting friends, working, napping, catching up on tv and eating amazing food with my family, reading and enjoying my life without the sense of impending dread.

im size 10, love to walk for HOURS every day, slim but not really toned (ok, a bit flabby in some areas), feel pretty healthy on the whole. Can’t I just keep doing what I’m doing? Please??

my mum is in her 70s and fine doing what I do, although she has had some falls lately. Dad says he wish he’d worked out as he’s such a weedy skinny old man now (his words). But they’re fine. My grandmother is in her 90s and going strong.

why do I have to do this? Why is everyone else doing this? Someone tell me one good reason and I’ll stop moaning

Bloody hell - that's absolutely appalling ....but how amazing that you/she didn't take their word for it and took matters in to your own hands!

I hope you complained about their bullshit prognosis!

I'd given up on complaining, but I did let them know that she was walking.

Basically, they saw 'dementia' in her notes, assumed it was end stage and wrote her off. And - honestly - Mum's walking was nothing to do with me. God bless her, she simply stood up and walked.

She'd been discharged from the ward (with no physio) in spite of the fact that I'd come down with shingles and it was unsafe for Mum to be near me. She was transferred to to a respite home until I was past the contagious stage.

I got a phone call from the nurse in charge of the home to let me know that Mum had walked by herself - she'd heard music she liked in the next sitting room and had got up and walked the next room by herself, using the grab rail in the corridor.

How fabulous. Your mum sounds like a legend! ♥️

The NHS really needs to switch to promoting a healthy lifestyle and diet. Prevention is far better than having to treat preventable illnesses.
The importance of it all should be high on the school curriculum. Have always said this. There is much to be said for China's approach to this. Can't imagine the UK having us all do tai-chi every morning though. However good it would be for us all.

I loved it in China that it's totally normal to do things like tai chi, line dancing or aerobics classes out in public places. Outdoor gyms are popular and well used too.

In Britain, there's been too much divide of sporty/ non sporty particularly with PE experiences being very divisive in previous generations. So many people feel uncomfortable at the thought of public exercise because of baggage from their youth.

And NHS dietary advice is still stuck in the high carb, low fat era and hasn't moved with updated knowledge. When my children bought home Change 4 Life booklets each summer, I'd read them for a laugh before they swiftly went to the recycling bins. No I wasn't going to give them diet drinks when they drank water in the first place.

Ha, yes, I did the same with those leaflets - they are laughable!

They tried to get us to go to a class after the Y6 weighing put my DD as overweight. She had started puberty and had gained a bit of puppy fat just like I did at the same age. Just like me a couple of years later she was a healthy weight again. No way was I going to draw attention to it by taking her to a class to be weighed and told to eat diet food when she already had a healthy diet and would have had to miss her swimming to go!

All these people urging you to exercise @beewaspfly ? They sound very worried about you. Even a doctor is urging you too.

There’s obviously health issue at play here, which you’ve been a little evasive about.

Everyone is definitely NOT saying it has to be 40 minutes 3-4 times a week.

I’m 70 and quite happy exercising, I put on an audiobook and do my weight circuits 2 or 3 times a week and I walk every day. It’s a slice of peace and quiet in the day.

i do it because i like being strong, i can lift heavy shopping, move furniture, do any DIY I want and my balance is excellent. The prospect of being a frail little old lady who falls and snaps at every turn and just spends her last years sitting in a chair watching TV terrifies me. A couple of hours a week lifting weights is worth it.

Absolutely this. I am currently watching a very dear friend of mine progressing to the late stage of being a frail little old lady, and it is heartbreaking. She used to have the constitution of an ox, never ill, always doing stuff. Several falls over the last few years have stopped her in her tracks. Not only can she barely walk more than 10 minutes, slowly, but she is in considerable pain. Coupled with a couple of other age related problems she is now virtually housebound. And yet she could quite possibly live for years.

I know there is no guarantee but I’ll continue to work out and hopefully stay fit. In my early seventies I can still ski like a teenager, ice skate with my granddaughter, cycle and go hiking with my husband, and much else. It is totally worth it.

It's a good job your dd has a sensible mum! 👏🏻💐

My mum did 20 (ish!) years of BodyPump , religiously 3-4 times a week from age 50. Ate healthily, ideal weight her entire life, barely drank. Never smoked.

She has lost her independence and is currently in hospital due to osteoporosis anyway.

All that effort and it didn't make a difference anyway: It's a fucking lottery. Do whatever you want is my advice 🤷🏼‍♀️

Op im in the same boat. I have SO little free time & the last thing I want to do is spend it in a gym! I dont enjoy it at all, and it leaves me knackered & achy and ruins other things. I try to lead an active lifestyle with thd DC but i want that time with them & a bike ride with a 6 year old is neither lengthy nor intense.

I can't be everything:

• "supermum" to busy DC
• high powered well paid job
• actually getting some sleep
• size 8 lean muscled gym bunny

The latter just does not make the cut

And again, my mum smokes 2 packs a day and is perfectly fine, so go ahead, light up!
The question isn't whether exercise makes someone immune to osteoporosis but whether it improves the odds. The research overwhelmingly says that it does.

I can't be everything:

• "supermum" to busy DC
• high powered well paid job
• actually getting some sleep
• size 8 lean muscled gym bunny

The latter just does not make the cut

True, true - I have decided to neglect sleep from that list though 😂

Yep… build/maintain my career as a singleton, look after the kids, manage a household/house/bills on my own (including all the bodywork), look after my mental health, manage perimenopause, eat healthily, get enough sleep, drink enough water, maintain a vape/smoke free life socialise/maintain friendships, manage my weight, look vaguely presentable every day, have downtime/mentally unwind… and find the mental and physical energy to exercise 😂 okay!

You forgot one - Read every day

😂

I didn't start strength training till I was 58. I don't enjoy it but do it anyway, as I had really started to notice that I was losing strength and didn't like it. You sound like you're doing enough for now. And it's not compulsory. Some people never do it

Those of you saying strength training is a fad. It’s really not. It’s so hyped up at the minute because the evidence is finally there to see. There’s finally research and evidence for women doing it. Sure genetics play a part dor some. My 89 year old mil is still going and has probably never done formal exercise class ( my aerobics😂) in her life. But she never sits still even now. aim watching my dad decline physically and it upsets me he can’t do stuff at 75.

Thwres an orthopaedic surgeon on insta ( Dr Vonda wright) in the USA who is also menopausal AND in midlife that is doing tons of work and proper research on this and she is very clear. She actually sees women’s bones and the state they get into. There’s also a lady called Christine Hobson60 on insta who at 72 is doing amazing and she started exercising in later life because she couldn’t do things!

Sure we can’t all do loads and lift very heavy etc etc but some strength work and a bit of jumping to shock our bones into reproducing more bone …..IS very important.

I use kettle bells, i enjoy them and have increased the weight so i wont stop, it’s not barbell heavy and is still better than no weights. I can do a mix of exercises a
for all over body and i enjoy it

I can’t afford a PT or have any inclination for a gym so i do all my workouts ( bands, kettle bells, spin and yoga) at home or i’m walking outside too.

The lady i have watched classes on you tube used to be champion in it with very heavy weights. She is now using moderate weights and shorter workouts and feels better for it. She still Less injured but it’s still working for her. She is midlife too.

Sure heavier the better the research is there but some strength with a kettle bells is still better than none.

Agreed. Sounds like a similar situation with my mum...but she's now crippled with arthritis and also losing balance/not stable and having despite living a v healthy lifestyle:(
It sucks!