“Husband accused me of an affair” threads… not ATAAT but a question.

[CunningLinguist2]

Is @devoed okay? Threads disappeared & I am rooting hard for her & her kids against the KH.

I’m spiralling.

DC isn’t coping, it’s affecting his health. Because there’s pretty much nil contact between KH and I, there are conflicting accounts and views.

KH is really ramping up allegations about me, I’m so worried I’ll be arrested again. He’s also been so difficult, I’m just at the end of my tether and I cannot parent like this. I’m so scared about what he’s going to do next, I feel genuinely bullied.

I went to see my GP about what was going on at home, I’d asked if there was anyone that might advise on how to navigate it all as I’m worried it’s affecting DC. Now the GP has mentioned a potential safeguarding referral.

I am so scared I’ve made things twenty times worse.

This isn't helpful in the here and now, but your DC will one day understand which of their parents is the one who has their best interests at heart, and it won't be KH.
Any involvement of the authorities is going to send you in to a tailspin because you have experience of how that can go. However, a safeguarding referral might not be the disaster you are fearing because someone should be listening to the children in the context of how they are feeling about the divorce, not the divorce itself, and the disconnect between how they know you to be, and what they are being told you are. It's incredibly difficult for children when they are getting told all sorts by the other side and you are doing the right thing by trying not to involve them and therefore can't effectively 'fight your corner'. Did you manage to arrange therapy for them?
You are going through a horrendous time, stay strong, as difficult as that is. You will eventually come out the other side.

I think the fact you’ve triggered the referral is good. I know it’s scary with everything that’s happened but your concern for your children is what has led you here and you’ve acted on those concerns. He’s coming across as more unhinged than ever and given the last incident was malicious and written off (if I recall correctly) then I doubt the police will pay much attention. He’s already cried wolf once and they don’t like their time being wasted.

Sorry, I missed out DS is under the GP for an ongoing issue but we cannot give the GP a concise picture as we see different things in GP and communication between us is so poor.

I'm so sorry, @Devoed.

I think you have done the right thing with the referral, though. I reckon the more professionals that see this situation and behaviour, the more likely you are to get some help.

I hope so, we haven’t even got the summer holidays confirmed…it’s just all stress and bully tactics