Conceiving without orgasm

[Lavendar01]

Been ttc for 4 years now no luck, ivf failed too. There are some concerns around egg and sperm quality but we have no choice but to trust that it can still happen naturally.

However we only do it around the week we "think" i am ovulating, my cycles are quite regular (confirmed through lh strips and bbt rise historically), perhaps a few in the year that are not. And even the few times we try, we struggle, especially me I can't orgasm and have read this happens to push the sperm into the cervix.

When you conceived, did you orgasm, if so, was it before or after partner ejaculated?

I conceived successfully 3 times without orgasm. Some women never orgasm and some only rarely, and I've never heard of a link with ability to conceive.

Would it be better to stop any testing and tracking, to take the pressure off? I can’t remember when we conceived. If I did orgasm it would have been after and doing it myself!

There’s not a link between orgasm and conception.

I struggled to conceive despite tracking my cycles and I eventually fell pregnant when we had sex at a point when I thought I wasn't fertile. It happened at the same point in my cycle second time round when we only had sex once in a blue moon because DC1 was a terrible sleeper so I am absolutely certain of the date of conception. I must have been ovulating very early in my cycle just as my period finished, so by the time I thought I was fertile we'd missed the window. If I were you I'd relax a bit with the tracking, try to enjoy sex regularly and see what happens.

It used to be believed there was a link, but it's been thoroughly debunked. Plenty of babies are made without the woman orgasming.

I do find it interesting that it was considered fact until a couple of hundred years ago, there were certainly a lot of babies around back then so presumably a lot of women reaching orgasm through penetration too. Not sure why they found it so much easier than women do today.

There is no link between conceiving and orgasms. Think about it - how could women get pregnant from r*pe?

Not sure about the medical side, but I conceived 5 children naturally and was 45 before I had ever had an orgasm.

Could you bring yourself to climax after dtd if you think this will help?

I definitely didn’t, but I did use a moon up to hold the goo in place to give it my best chance.

I always felt orgasming after my husband was what made me conceive v quickly each time. (And it’s usually ‘me first’) I saw video footage that showed the cervix rhythmically moving upwards, sort of scooping (which you can feel), l don’t know if this has been proven to help, but we feel it did.

Not what you’re asking really, but we were ttc 4.5 years with multiple failed ivf rounds, and it was on our last ditch attempt at ivf before moving on to donor conception (as it’s apparently egg and sperm issue) and it worked, my baby is sleeping by me now. So there is still reason to hope. I can orgasm from dtd, but my poor partner suffered badly from the pressure which didn’t help us. Best of luck to you, just gotta keep trying.

I never ever orgasm through sex and concieved 4 times on the first or second cycle of trying. If women had to orgasm to reproduce, the population would be tiny!

There is no science to back it and as others stated loads of women don't and have many children. If anything the point of O is to have enjoyment and feel relaxed that can help the no pressure no atress and enjoyment.
Both times I conceived we had fun and were not focused on "baby". So relaxed, had fun and got pregnant.

I do BBT tracking and OPKs but it doea not stress me out and deapite tracking I am naturallly more attracted to my DH at that time which is a fertile sign and vice versa. 3 days post O I am not a fan of DH anymore 😂 and DTD decreases significantly.

I didn’t track and conceived both times after drinking and being fairly “merry” with my husband.

have you tried not tracking and just going with the flow?

Yes I read about this and feel that it worked for me.

Based on what you have written I would suggest you just need to have more sex, I got pregnant on the last day of my period - bodies are weird and don’t conform to textbooks. Don’t rely on strips to determine when to ttc

I never once orgasmed in 10 years with my exH, still conceived DD. I didnt even know where was a link between orgasm and conception - I think there'd be far less pregnancies if that was a prerequisite!

I agree this is nonsense, there is no link

Do you know that back in the olden days (the awful days, for women), a woman getting pregnant was used to 'prove' she hadn't been raped as they believed it could only happen if she orgasmed.

I would put money on the fact you’re just not having sex regularly enough.

Can you imagine how low the birth rate would be if women needed to orgasm, we'd go extinct! 😂

Sex every other day is best and open your timeframe. Only having sex at the precise moment you're ovulating is like being a sniper, try using a shotgun instead. Try over the two week period you think you're ovulating. Especially late, I'm prone to a "phantom" ovulation and then actually ovulating a week later quite late in my cycle it seems.

Quite. In Medieval and Tudor times they believed this was a necessary thing to happen.
But that was centuries ago.
It was a difficulty for anyone who became pregnant after being raped as they assumed the poor lady had enjoyed herself.

As PP have said there is no science behind this. I doubt women in the past had orgasm that often (but have no evidence to back this up) and they still got pregnant. I myself got pregnant 3 times and I more often than not orgasm before my husband sometimes at the same time but rarely after.

I was told I wasn’t ovulating. Turns out I was, but very late in the month.

DP didn't have her first orgasm until her 40s, DD was born a good 15 years before that.

So no, no orgasm didn't make a difference in this case.

I never used to orgasm in my 30s and somehow I have a daughter.

If the problem is egg or sperm quality no amount of orgasming will help though. I TTC for years. We tried EVERYTHING. Normal sex. Me orgasming first. Me orgasming after. Me orgasming both before and after. Me not orgasming at all. Trying artificial methods to try and get the sperm higher up. Then the before and after and both and not at all tricks again. Sex daily. Sex twice a day. Sex every other day. Sex every third day. Using OPKs. Temping. Not doing any of that. Alternating these things every month. None worked for us because it was likely an egg quality issue. (Well actually the only one time we conceived I’d actually had flu the week before and we had sex once the day before ovulation with no orgasm for me because I was knackered and wanted to sleep. It ended in MMC though)