Feeling disheartened trying for a second baby (9 months TTC, early loss).

[MochaLove]

Posting this just to share my thoughts really, to hear from others going through similar situations or who have been in this position.

TTC baby number two, which we have been now going onto cycle 9. Our daughter is 2.5 and it took 3 months to fall pregnant. Unfortunately we had a very early loss (5 weeks) a few months ago. Since then, I feel more negative about TTC and almost defeated now, I’m starting to feel like I won’t be giving my daughter a sibling, which the thought of breaks my heart. Of course I am so grateful to have our daughter. I am trying to stay rational and tell myself that anything up to 12 months is normal, but finding it increasingly hard to have that mindset. I had a c section and I worry that could have caused some problems, as have seen some posts about secondary infertility linked to having a previous section.

I have religiously tracked my ovulation using the sticks, but don’t do anything like BBT. At this point, I feel like throwing all of the ovulation tests in the bin to be honest. I am sick of the cycle of TTC every month and disappointment. Most of our friends have either had a second baby by now or are pregnant, and I’m secretly starting to find this really hard.

How do people stay sane and positive during this journey? 😩 I would love to hear some encouraging stories, words of wisdom or just have a chat with some people who may be feeling the same.

Hey.
I really feel for you. We’ve been trying for a second for 2 1/2 years now and many of my friends have had baby number 3 whilst I’m still trying for number 2. I’m so fortunate that we have our DD. It’s just hard. I’ve had 4 losses but it takes a good few months to fall pg in between.

Have you had any tests done?

Oh gosh I’m so sorry you’ve been going through that for all that time - that sounds really tough. I’ve not had any tests but I am thinking of going to my GP soon. They did run some general bloods for me a few months ago but I haven’t had anything fertility specific. I’m not sure how helpful they’ll be as I’m trying for my second, it seems to be a post code lottery when it comes to how much they’ll help. Have you had any tests? I have been considering getting some testing done privately if needed.

I’ve had various tests over the last 2 years but only recently had tests which have an explanation after a 3rd MC. I’m 36 and when I went to my GP about 18 months ago she immediately referred me to a fertility clinic. We ended up deciding not to go because we thought with our ages they’d suggest IVF immediately and I just don’t think I can put everyone and myself through that. Your GP will do basic blood tests though to see if anything comes up there.

I’d make an appointment to see your GP and see what they can suggest.

So sorry you're going through this, I have been there and it is tough. Very similar story to you, although it took me 13 months to get pregnant with my first, C-section delivery. Tried for a second, got pregnant 2nd month, but early miscarriage. Month after monh went by and it was really hard to keep going. I eventually fell pregnant with my daughter after 18 months and we'd just started fertility tests with the docs. She's now almost 4 but I clearly remember the feeling that my son might be an only child as it felt so hopeless at times. Keep going , I know it's hard and speak to your GP about what might be on offer testing wise. Good luck!

Get a scan on your uterus and c section scar. I was having a terrible time with mid cycle bleeding and painful periods and had a scan , turns out I have a niche in my scar. Theyre common apparently and dont cause most women problems so they say, but they can cause problems conceiving. We tried for two years and have given up now buy im angry because I would have gotten it fixed if i'd known about it when I was trying.