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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Moving primary schools

36 replies

Summersummer21 · Yesterday 15:54

Mums I really need a bit of sound advice please.
my daughter attends a primary school that all of my family and I used to attend. She has family in the year above and in juniors. She will be going into year 1 in September and has been at the school nursery since 3. (Before that was in private nursery).
the problem is the school is in a different town that we live in. It is 4.2 miles in the car and can take from around 15 mins - 25 minutes I’d say.
the reason we put her here was in case I needed childcare from my family members since they already collect from the school.

however since my job has changed and I do all of the drop offs and pick ups. My son will be starting a school nursery next year and it makes sense for us to change our daughter school for September. There’s a school 12 mins from home walking distance. In 2023 their ofsted was rated good, I know prior to this they had to make some improvements. Me and DH have walked round the school with our DD and were happy with it. I’ve found a local group and asked for feedback from mums and again there’s no concerns.

the dilemma is I feel awful for moving her. She’s settled, has her own friendship group and gets to see her cousins. However I am thinking longer term for her being able to make friends more closer to home and to avoid the unnecessary travel.

im also thinking for trips to the library or swimming with school, I’d rather her be around our local area.

any advice or tips would be hugely appreciated!

OP posts:
Summersummer21 · Today 13:47

@Wildrose83 honestly everything in me knows we should move her but then there’s something in me that’s struggling with the idea. I think because there’s always been somebody in my family at the school but also because of her friends! I know it sounds silly because she’s 5 next month but it breaks my heart, but I know it would be right. Especially when my DS starts the school nursery next year

OP posts:
Julimia · Today 13:55

I would move her and explain it to her. Dont worry about Ofsted ratings too much go with your observations and gut feelings(as you seem to be doing .

Pinkflamingo10 · Today 13:58

15-25min trip to school sounds totally doable ?

sweatybettytoday · Today 14:05

I moved my daughter when she was 8 to an amazing place to live. She’s in a small school but absolutely thriving and zero regrets. I wouldn’t move a child when in secondary school but primary age is a different matter.

Summersummer21 · Today 14:07

@Pinkflamingo10 its definitely doable but it’s more about the fact that it’s not in our local area and her brother will be starting next year. It’s in an area I grew up in and no longer want to be apart of. But the school has been amazing but we have one so close to us so I think it does make sense to move her. Especially during winter it’ll be more of a hassle!

OP posts:
Goodmorningeveryone26 · Today 14:16

from everything you’ve said, definitely move her. I moved one of my children in year 3 and he was well settled by the end of the first term. It feels hard to move a child when they’re happy because you’ll have lovely memories of her early years there, but it will be so much easier to have them
blth at a local school with friends nearby. Do it

ACynicalDad · Today 14:21

Make the request and try to get her in before the end of term so she isn't worried about it over the summer and doesn't go in as the completely new child. Mine moved at the end of year 1 and has flourished. Loads more friends, loads happier, has excelled.

SparkyBlue · Today 14:24

Absolutely move her. Honestly it will be fine

Thechaseison71 · Today 14:26

SummerInSun · Yesterday 16:12

If you want to move her I’m sure she’ll be fine as PP have said. But a 15-25 min trip to school sounds like nothing to me! Depends on what geography you are used to I guess

Yeah I kept my DD at a school that was a 15 / 20 mins drive away despite a place opening up in the school near me ( 3 mins walk. ) that her sister was in year 6 at

But adding to that the reason they were in 2 different schools was that we moved when they were year 1 and 3 and no space in local school for dd2 then. If id sent DD1 to same school as DD2 I'd have lost transport I was given for dd2 ( although obviously I did lose it when DD2 was offered a place at DD1s school

Both of them soon settled from the previous school near where I used to live though

Summersummer21 · Today 14:32

@ACynicalDad good idea I have emailed the school so I’ll try and get something sorted - hopefully this would save us both from worrying 😂

OP posts:
Summersummer21 · Today 14:34

@Goodmorningeveryone26 thank you for the reassurance - I feel so guilty but I guess that’s part of being a parent and making grown up decisions! She’s such a lovely kind girl so I do know she’d settle quickly. I’m definitely overthinking it for sure

OP posts:
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