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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think saying 'I don't give a fuck' shows strong feelings?

26 replies

CoalTit · Yesterday 02:11

When someone says loudly and vehemently, or even types "I don't give a FUCK!", I always take that to mean that they're actually having some big feelings.
Is that a reasonable assumption on my part?

OP posts:
GarlicEverywhere · Yesterday 02:19

I think I often say it when I'm being expected to have strong feelings about something, and don't. I'd be emphasising the strength of fuck/shit I don't give as a signal to stop trying to provoke a reaction you find acceptable.

ElenOfTheWays · Yesterday 02:20

No
And I don’t give a fuck if you disagree 😂

GarlicEverywhere · Yesterday 02:25

The alternative is to announce, very slowly and clearly, "I. Don't. Care." That kind of delivery really annoys me, though, so I'd definitely be signalling a strong feeling about your whanging on and on about veganism your pet issue!

CoalTit · Yesterday 02:52

Do you mean me as in the OP, GarlicEverywhere? Or a sort of generic "you" who has sometimes got you shouting or typing that you don't give a fuck?

OP posts:
Winefride · Yesterday 02:53

Is this not obvious or am I missing something?

Peakyblinder18 · Yesterday 02:59

@CoalTit I actually say it. For both reasons. Depending on the situation.
Yes I need anger management 🙃

Wauwinet · Yesterday 03:11

Yeah, if they yelled the “fuck” I’d assume they were pretty aggravated over it. Or at least aggravated about talking or being asked about it.

I personally go with a deadpan “I genuinely could not give one singular fuck” which I think conveys my deep apathy appropriately. Sometimes I switch it up with “one iota of fuck.”

mulberrymilk · Yesterday 03:15

No, one could be laughing as one said it.

SpottyPyjama · Yesterday 03:17

No, it depends on the context.

Error404FucksNotFound · Yesterday 03:25

Re typing, I dont think so. Its just for emphasis, it doesnt take any strong emotion to stick your caps lock on for a word.

If someone angrily shouts they don't give a fuck they may not give a fuck about the thing itself but may be mightily pissed off if for example someones wanging on about it.

NotMeAtAll · Yesterday 03:29

I don't give a fuck means I have no feelings on the issue.

GarlicEverywhere · Yesterday 04:07

CoalTit · Yesterday 02:52

Do you mean me as in the OP, GarlicEverywhere? Or a sort of generic "you" who has sometimes got you shouting or typing that you don't give a fuck?

Generic 🙂 You're not haranguing me about anything, are you?

Caffeinepleasenow · Yesterday 04:20

No, I don't think so. Just like when people type LOL. They're very rarely laughing out loud.

CoalTit · Yesterday 05:51

NotMeAtAll · Yesterday 03:29

I don't give a fuck means I have no feelings on the issue.

Yes, in principal. But I often see it on forums and it usually strikes me as odd that anyone would bother to comment at all on something they don't care about, let alone get all sweary about it.

OP posts:
Ibi · Yesterday 05:56

Some people are just more sweary in general. I’d probably say something like, ‘I really don’t care’, or ‘I could not give less of a shit’!!

Lots of people post on things they don’t really care about on the internet. Especially on here when some people get het up over the slightest of things.

Howinthehelldidthishappen · Yesterday 06:00

If I've got to the point where I loudly or vehemently declare that i don't give a fuck, it's generally because i'm completely pissed off that you are still banging on about something i honestly don't care about and I want you to shut up and leave me alone. It's not because I care about the thing.

Magpie50 · Yesterday 06:15

Yup, I think if someone says it angrily then they are generally annoyed and frustrated with the other person rather then just the topic.

If I genuinely don't care I tend to say I couldn't give a flying fuck. (Flying fucks are more blasé IMO).😁

NotMeAtAll · Yesterday 06:46

CoalTit · Yesterday 05:51

Yes, in principal. But I often see it on forums and it usually strikes me as odd that anyone would bother to comment at all on something they don't care about, let alone get all sweary about it.

People can be sick of hearing about something they don't give a fuck about.

shhblackbag · Yesterday 06:53

Context is key. Generally, I could just be annoyed, though.

Sunshinemoonlightboogie · Yesterday 06:54

Say it constantly when I REALLY don’t give a fuck and have bigger things to worry about, it’s more because I’m tired of hearing about it and have no bandwidth. I never say it for BIG feelings?!?

Thepeopleversuswork · Yesterday 07:16

Isnt it obvious? It’s hardly a constructive comment. Why do you ask?

Loulou4022 · Yesterday 09:42

I think it’s often said when people have lost control I’d be more worried if someone calmly said “I don’t care anymore”

Error404FucksNotFound · Yesterday 11:06

Do you think swearing means strong feelings?
Thats not true. Some people swear like it's punctuation and barely even realise they're doing it.

CoalTit · Yesterday 20:20

Thepeopleversuswork · Yesterday 07:16

Isnt it obvious? It’s hardly a constructive comment. Why do you ask?

I had someone say it in real life after he'd brought up a topic, clearly feeling pretty confident about it. I argued, but fairly unemotionally, maybe being a bit dismissive, and then he said very emphatically that he didn't give a fuck. Then he said we'd better stop talking about it because I was getting emotional.

After reading the replies here, I can only conclude that it means "I'm getting very uncomfortable with this conversation".

OP posts:
helpfulperson · Yesterday 21:33

if i use it i mean 'i really don't care so please just do what you want and stop going on about it,