To be annoyed at disruption in a theatre show?

[shouldwejust]

I appreciate that this is a nuanced topic, and that there possibly isn’t a right answer.

Recently I went to watch a show in the theatre that I had been looking forward to for months. The tickets were my birthday present and something I can’t usually afford, so definitely a one off treat.

Throughout the whole show, a man who had severe disabilities was shouting out and yelling. He didn’t stop at all and continuously made very loud and disruptive noises.

It completely took me out of the show, meant I struggled to concentrate and was just annoyed!

I fully appreciate that everyone in society has a right to enjoy things, and perhaps this man was looking forward to the show just as much as me! But, I don’t think that it’s fair that he disrupted the show for the entire rest of the audience who had also paid a lot to be there.

I don’t know what the solution is to be perfectly honest. That his carer removed him when he was being disruptive? That he attended one of the “autism friendly” screenings that are expected to have more disruption?

When I said this to my partner he was shocked and said that basically we should just accept that our show was ruined for his enjoyment, as that is being inclusive. I don’t feel that inclusivity should come at the cost of everyone else?

I appreciate that I may be told I am being unreasonable here but I’d like to hear other people’s opinions here

Re: voices for disabled people, this is absolutely true. We often have to fight harder and louder and more often, it is exhausting. My child has a voice because I am her voice, and I will (politely) not back down, we are heard because I make it so. But I am an articulate, highly educated person with lots of contacts and knowledge and it's still hard, so I agree some people do not have a voice.

But I still do not think it was right for that person to be disrupting the show. My aim is to make my daughters life better, but this does not give me the right to make others worse

Agree.

Are you? How incredibly mean to the majority. You guard dog over the right to be selfish and disruptive?

If you’re determined to be ableist in your outlook then that’s on you. This isn’t Star Trek.

No, not what I said at all. I’ve worked within the laws protecting disabled people for long enough to know that they’re needed to protect vulnerable people - not least from some of the awful opinions expressed on threads like these, which, if they translate into wider society, are really concerning.

Alligator guy is more concerning than opinions. Experiment gone very wrong there.

Star Trek ? Mr Spock ? The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one ? Which seems to be the general consensus. Ableism is neither ridiculous or new and whether it forms part of your dictionary or not is irrelevant.

Why would you assume it’s an experiment. And why would you use a highly emotive word like that in relation to a disabled person. Someone got it very wrong when assessing his care needs, with a tragic outcome. Hopefully things will be reviewed so that it can’t happen again. Unfortunately a boy has been seriously injured and a disabled man will likely have his freedom curtailed because of failings in the system that should have protected them both. I really don’t think insulting and derogatory terms like ‘experiment’ and ‘Alligator girl are appropriate when referring to such a serious incident. You don’t appear to have much filter.

Just listen to yourself: Alligator guy, shouty person, normal thinking person. These are flesh and blood people whose lives are probably more difficult than you can imagine, and yet you think nothing of ridiculing them. In my experience over decades, it’s people like you who have made it exponentially more difficult for disabled people to establish their rights and freedoms than it ever needed to be.

Oh yes, correct, the needs of the many is right.

And I do not give a hoot about the needs of the alligator guy. More concerned about the toddler.

I think the point that some people are missing is that the audience silence is integral to the enjoyment of the show, it’s not a ‘nice to have’ - all right thinking people want disabled people to live full and good lives and support adjustments to make that happen, but you know full well that if the theatre advertised a show as people were welcome to talk and make noise during the performance they wouldn’t sell many tickets, certainly not at £200 a pop!

And if ‘Alligator Guy’ had been in an appropriate care setting which met his needs, the toddler would never have been hurt. So your concern is misplaced.

Well I suspect we both agree he should not have been in an alligator zoo, I would extend there are quite a few others places he should not be allowed out to either.

When I go and do my business I don't make it a hassle and inconvenience for others. I don't ruin anyone else's social experiences.

There are mentally disabled people who are prone to extreme violence.... I don't think they should go out and hurt other people to be "inclusive"

Thanks for your input, that’s really interesting.

Well where or when he should be allowed out, thankfully is not down to you and your ableist opinion is it ? The likelihood is that his freedoms will be curtailed as a result of systemic failures in his care, so that should satisfy you until they bring back the death penalty for being disabled.

I doubt people realise how much of the legal provision results in nothing more than lip service. Comments regarding disabled people and their advocates being ‘loud mouthed and pushy’ wind me up because the alternative is needs going unaddressed.

but you know full well that if the theatre advertised a show as people were welcome to talk and make noise during the performance they wouldn’t sell many tickets,

@ClaredeBear if you'd read the thread (appreciate probably too long if you're new to it) you'd see many people talking about many theatres doing precisely this, called relaxed performances. But you're also right they don't do many of them because of the finances.

So you think he should be allowed out still?

Regarding the theatre, screened performances are of course ideal if there is the capability (obviously some theatres are old and tiny) but it seems some posters believe that Theatre Man had every right to make any noise he could and if it disrupted the performance, well, tough cheese and to think otherwise is “ableist”.

Mentally disabled people who are prone to extreme violence are not usually put into care settings such as the one this man was in. It was totally inappropriate, unsafe for himself and those around him, and entirely responsible for what happened. As a result of that systemic failure, a child received severe injuries and the freedoms of a disabled man will likely be permanently curtailed.

Might interest you to know that because of the shit state of mental health services in the UK many families are forced to deal with relatives who are mentally unstable or suffer from severe autism and who are violent as a result. Often they are grown children who are much bigger and stronger than the parents looking after them. As an outreach worker, I’ve often supported families who have had to set up safe rooms in their own homes in order to barricade themselves in to protect themselves from relatives who have violent outbursts and damage property, life and limb as a result. I’ve supported family who have been repeatedly injured and still nothing is done.

Services are so thin on the ground, and appropriate placements so few and far between for those with behavioural problems that families are often left to get on with it. Provision is patchy across the country and support ranges from inadequate to non existent. It’s often the reason that those with mental health or ND conditions enter the criminal justice system as a result of not being able to access appropriate help.