To be upset no pictures of my son?

[Susuzw]

Please help me get over this. I’m feeling really upset I do tend to feel deeply as I suffer from RSD which makes normal emotions feel worse.

So my son had his primary school prom yesterday and parents were not allowed to stay obviously so drop off and pick up. We were told plenty of parents helping so they will take pictures. My son was the first to arrive and within an hour lots of pictures posted on the group chat but not one single picture of him! I feel socially he gets left out as he’s not friends with the boys of the PTA mums. I find it really nasty, if I had been volunteering (I did offer but was told no they have enough) I would definitely have made sure all kids were included.

I Sent a message to one of the PTA mums to please take a picture and she took 3 but half assed ones where he’s not even looking at the camera!

I feel sad the other kids have Lovely pictures to look back on with beautiful backdrops and really stunning prom balloon display in the back but he doesn’t have one decent pic to look at.

how can I let this not upset me?

Awful people! Petty mums or other parents who had given up their time to organise this lovely fun event. You don’t know why the other mum got picked over you, maybe she volunteered regularly or was dbs checked, or a trained first aider or her child had a breath condition you don’t know about.

And this post was about 11 year olds at the primary school prom. Maybe you should have said yours was at 6th form

He’s an 11-year-old boy who is going to become a teenage boy and then a man. When do you envisage him wanting to look back on his primary school prom photos and when do you envisage him caring about the background?

Honestly, I don’t know any teen boys or men who would want to look back on pictures of their primary school prom and certainly none who would care that they didn’t have the balloon backdrop in any existing photos! If he did it want to look back in the future it would be more likely he would want to see photos of long-forgotten peers and reminisce about them than photos of himself anyway!

You are over-thinking this and putting too much value on the photographs. Any photos from the prom will have just been taken for the mums to put on their social media this weekend and then I can almost guarantee they won’t ever be looked at again by the vast majority of the parents and some of the kids probably won’t ever care!

We have this at our primary school. Always the same parents being chosen to help for school trips, supervise parties etc even if you’re the first to volunteer. Then pics only of their children sent on the group whatsapp. I get it, you just wanted one picture of them enjoying themselves. Not necessarily posing.
Maybe just take a pic of him outside of school on his last day and be glad he’s moving on.

I don't get people's view point over primary school proms. Surely it's just a chance for kids to get a bit dressed up and have a party with their friends. Leaving primary school is a big milestone and many will be going onto different high schools. I think it's nice that they get a chance to have a celebration with the children they've spent so many formative years with.

Op - I do get your disappointment. I'd probably feel the same. People are right that the photos probably mean much more to you than they do to him though. Also for future agents I'd just try and make sure you get a nice picture before. My nieces just had their secondary school prom and my sister got some lovely photos before showing their full dresses and hair. The only photos at the actual prom were taken in a photo booth and they are with their friends. The photos are fun, but not the sort of thing you'd stick on your wall unlike the ones my sister took.

I would be more upset that parent volunteers are taking photos and sharing them on a WhatsApp group at a school event. This cannot possibly be in line with school safeguarding policy.

This

Of course it’s a writer passage it’s an important transition but but getting dressed up? that’s the last thing that should be on 10-year-olds mind getting dressed up is for the old people. It’s telling boys and girls what boys and girls should be like and it’s atrocious. they’ll find out soon enough how girl for forced to be sexy whereas boys can wear a clean white T-shirt. Just give them a break for a couple more years.

Honestly, I don’t think he will know or care unless you make a deal out of it

It’s primary school.
Neither you nor him will give a shit in a few years

@Onmytod24 Since when has getting dressed up been just for adults. Would you have a problem with a child being a bridesmaid then? As long as they are dressed in an age appropriate way, I don't see the problem. My eldest Dd (10 years - year 5) enjoys a chance to put on nice clothes and feel a bit special. You only need to see the number of little girls who like putting on princess dresses to see that many kids like this sort of thing from a very young age. If a child doesn't want to get dressed up, that's fine too. Most primary school proms are much more relaxed than secondary.

Surely an 18 year old would be taking her own photos. My son just had his 6th form graduation in a night club, the students took their own pictures. The op is about 11 year olds in primary school being cared for and photos taken by voluntary parents , not adults capable of taking their own photos where there wasn't a parent in sight .

Dressing up as a pirate or a princess or a footballer is totally different than calling it a prom and getting dressed as a mini adult.

@Onmytod24 Why are you assuming they're all dressing like mini adults though. There are lots of age appropriate dresses that would be suitable for a primary school prom. Obviously you will always get some that will dress more grown up. But those kids are likely to dress even more inappropriately if you call it a party or disco. Think tiny mini skirts and crop tops.

This. Please don’t complain if you weren’t there helping.

Because calling it a prom and putting that expectation on it means the kids are expected to be dressed like mini-adults and hiring limos and all that nonsense. That's what's so ridiculous about the whole idea of a primary school prom.

Agreed. Don’t get in touch with the school/PTA about this 🤦‍♀️

I’m sorry your son wasn’t photographed and I can see why it would hurt. But onwards and upwards!

Primary school prom! How ridiculous. Our school has a jolly picnic on the common.

You are being daft to even give this a moment’s thought.

Yes of course they were, but there was an official photographer too that the school had organised. They were not exactly even or fair in their coverage.

My post had been in response to/sympathy with another PP whose son (also much older than primary) was similarly overlooked.

I don’t care if the self appointed thread police deem it worthy 🙄

Like I said, your daughter is an adult who can take her own photos. My adult son didn't get his photo taken by an official photographer at his prom. Absolutely no fucks where given by us.

Brutally, I'd say you're being a bit OTT. We had this with a parent emailing constantly when we did a 3 day residential last year. It was very full on, little time to update Twitter. The parent emailed the Head of year (heavily pregnant and not on the residential) about 4 times in one day. I was trip leader, running round 120 kids and the camp leaders, organising all the other staff. My priority was not taking photos. Turns out her kid didn't have photo permission, either.