AIBU to worry I will never be able to use inheritance money?

[WanderingStar26]

An inheritance one, kind of.

I am a single parent, I have a disability which limits how much I can work, I live in a HA house, my youngest child is 16 and going to college in September.

I’ve been aware of the fact that I have had the buffer of UC for years, as well as working PT, but that will be coming to an end (or at least massively reducing) when my youngest finishes education. I have been really trying to up my earnings (I’m self employed), and I’m doing better than I was but it’s difficult health-wise, and I’m definitely not going to be able to get a mortgage anytime soon.

Today my DF announced that he was selling one of his properties and splitting the money between his 4 DC. My three siblings all own their own properties, so that’s really handy for them as they can pay off a chunk of their mortgages. The stipulation to this money is that it can ONLY be used for property, so if I can’t buy then I won’t get it, basically.

It’s very generous of him but realistically I’m not sure how I will ever be able to make use of the money? I repeat, he will not let me have it unless it’s going towards a property purchase. Which is fair enough I guess as he doesn’t want to see it wasted. But I don’t see a realistic chance of me buying a property, ever, sadly, much as I’d love to.

He said he will put my share in an account and when I need it I can have it. But I’m mid forties now, my health seems to be going downhill and despite me really doing my best, my income isn’t ever going to be at a point where I can get a mortgage.

I’m not sure what to suggest? Maybe ask him to put it in a trust so it might benefit my DCs in future? I’m just worried that if it sits in a random account then eventually I might have problems retrieving it from the wicked stepmother (a whole other thread), and best case scenario will end up losing a chunk of it to inheritance tax. My DF is 73.

I don't see it. If she's in a HA house then she has security. When she can't work at all all the rent will be paid and she won't be on the hook for repairs.

So tell me what the advantage is TO HER of buying a shared ownership place

Ask dad to put it into a private pension in your name with ability to draw at 55

What about a shared ownership property? You should be about to purchase a % of a property with 60-70k outright. You then rent the remaining share which I beleive if you’re in receipt of benefits you’ll get help with the rental portion
might be worth having a good look either for a new build or resale sites (there are a few specialist sites listed that cover the whole of UK)

This must be very upsetting for you, OP. You are being discriminated against by your own father. Would your siblings argue your case with him? Treating all children fairly , or even equally, does not mean treating them all the same. He should understand this.
it’s great to see you have a potential option of buying with your LDR. Just make sure you draw up a proper contract in the event of anything going wrong, one of you dying, etc. Good luck with it.

How will that benefit her?

Thanks for all the replies. So after looking into it a bit more I’m not sure shared ownership is the way forward. I know a few people who have done it and their advice is…don’t 🤣. My DF will put my share of the money in a savings account for now so it can earn interest.

But I did have a good talk with DP over the weekend and we are going to look into buying somewhere together. He had a chat with his mortgage guy and between us we should be able to buy something decent. It’s been a very slow burn but I am as sure as I can be about him, we have a great relationship and he is one of the rare truly decent men out there. We’d need to make sure the legalities are sorted in case one of us dies or we did split up…it would be a lot easier if he’d just marry me but that’s a whole other thread 😂. One step at a time…

Sounds promising, all the best wishes 🤗

That sounds promising, and a good plan going forward
However, if you had a review with the DWP, would they want to know about money relatives are "holding" for you, and count it is your own capital?

If the account isn’t in my name I’d say on a need to know basis, they don’t need to know.

Thanks. I know people in the same situation and they worry it would be counted as their money even though they have never had it in their name.

Good luck with the house hunting

Thank you 😊

I guess it’s a perfectly legitimate scenario that I don’t know the money exists, so I think it will be fine. I’d be an eejit to mention it anyway 😂

It all feels a bit surreal, years ago I wrote my dissertation on the struggle of single mothers moving away from welfare, and the main way those who did manage it was by re-partnering. I can’t quite believe that it’s happening for me, for so many years it’s been having to fend for myself and my kids, and knowing that the future isn’t going to be more of the same is exciting. Not that I am expecting him bankroll me, but knowing that it’s not all on me and I’ll have something to leave the kids is a relief.

Good luck with everything @WanderingStar26 You’ve made the right call with shared ownership - all the drawbacks of buying and renting rolled into one expensive package.

Would it be possible to buy full or part, the HA home you are in?

Will caveat this by saying I don't know anything about your father's circumstances but he needs to go see a private client lawyer and look at putting in place a lifetime discretionary trust in favour of you and your children and settle the cash into it. I wouldn't normally suggest a trust for that amount but there are too many variables at play here that now make it look like an option worth considering. The cash can then be invested for your futures and as you have no automatic rights to benefit, your benefits are preserved. The trust can even be used to buy a shared of a property in the future. It also means that it doesn't get swallowed up in care fees for your dad or you and also doesn't remain part of his estate on death if you haven't bought a property by then and potentially land with some or all of your stepmother and siblings. If you are claiming pip/DLA, it might also benefit from a beneficial tax rate compared to the usual rate applicable to trusts. It also means you father can stay as a trustee so can control what the money is spent on while he is alive. Good luck

Does your HA have a shared ownership or right to buy scheme? I'm not sure how that affects benefit income, I know some of my neighbours are doing similar and still get top ups.
It means that chunk can be invested as your father stipulates.
I don't know the ins and outs of these schemes, so I apologise if not right for you. May be worth looking into though in case it is?

You have some options,

1, he buys a property with you, you repay him in rent for your portion, not sure how this would affect your benefits

2, you buy outright somewhere where you don’t live and rent it out (maybe via council) https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/173554424#/?channel=RES_BUY but rent will count as income

3, DF places it in trust for Dc

4, do nothing, keep pushing on with own business and look to the future

5, look at local buying schemes,

Love the plot twist…,

option 6 buy with your partner, could you this as a retirement option? Once DC2 has left home? Could DC1 live in supported accommodation?

I was in a very similar situation OP. In the end my dad put money into a medium risk SIPP pension, and left that to me in his will. When he passed, I applied to have the pension transferred into my name, and I know I have something to fall back on when I'm older. Could this be an option for you?