To think we aren’t going to make ends meet

[Mamaincognito]

I’ve just started Mat leave with our second child (38weeks) and my husband has just been let go from his job because they’ve removed the job role.
I went part time for childcare reasons for the first few years of the dc’s lives but was told I couldn’t extend this and would have to either go back full time when baby is 6 months or stay part time. Chose to stay part time because my husbands salary was making up the difference.

he is now pretty much unable to find work in his field and has resulted to daily paid work. We are looking at less than half our income (approx £1500) which will not cover our bills and rent. Our rent and bills come to £2000 ish, and we live very frugally buying ingredients and making foods from scratch.
At the moment our only options seem to be:

• move house into a cheaper place, but we don’t have a deposit to put down
• take DD out of nursery (2 days a week,) but then when I go back to work she will need to go back in and the waiting lists are insane. We would lose our spot at the best nursery for us
• universal credit? I’m not sure we would qualify without moving house (this is what they said last time we applied, because we are in a 3 bed as a family of three)

we’ve cancelled the swimming lessons and the few subscriptions we have for the security camera memory space and my Christmas present. We could buy less variety of fruit and veg - which would really suck as we value nutrition so highly and this is the bulk of our food shop. We use tinned mackerel and frozen meat to save money and add variety already, and bulk buy pasta, rice and bread flour to make bread for our carbs. We buy literally everything from charity shops to be sustainable.

I can’t see anywhere else to save. I can’t see much of a quick solution, unless I literally quit my job and take my daughter out of childcare and get maximum UC and benefits. Have I missed something I could consider to reduce costs here? AIBU to think we can’t do this?

You should still apply for UC to see if you qualify.
You’ve said he’s getting daily paid work- any earnings will reduce UC by 55p in the £1 after work allowance as you have children.

rent element,child element, personal allowance etc all builds up. Even if it’s only £100 you get it’s still something.
Child benefit- that goes into the pot too

Can’t you go back to work much sooner? I was back at work 3 weeks after no.3 because my husband wasn’t working at the time. I appreciate some births are more difficult though.

Is he only looking for jobs related to the one that he has been let go of?

Pubs are closing at the rate of one per day. Most run on minimum staffing. The other jobs you mention usually want full flexibility on days/hours. When is he meant to sleep??

Actually they probably could get childcare help if op is on mat leave and husband is working as mat leave classed as still being employed so i take back my previous comment !

Could you go full time somewhere else in August or even Easter? Could your DH do something such as Uber driving while he is looking for work?

Well he can relax when they are living on the street. It's going to be for a few months max. He needs to graft, bring in as much as possible and perhaps look to change career if jobs aren't available.

Op the citizens advice route is a great suggestion.

Is there anything you can sell to raise money... there's a car that rocks up at our local food bank every week with a personal number plate... surely if you are on the bones of your arse you sell everything you can do without to make life easier. So any unwanted, unworn jewellery, clothes you no longer wear (in my case it would be no longer fit in), anything to build a reserve of money to help over the next few months.

@Netcurtainnelly @WaneyEdge
£1500 income is not a full time 40 hours a week job, so he needs to step up and work proper full time.
Many people do a 9-5 and then an evening shift.
i appreciate pubs are closing, but having been to two in the last few weeks who both had staff wanted notices up, and said they would consider any hours.
you only find out by calling in, to local pubs and local care homes and seeing what they can offer.
sleep and rest and relaxing will have to be done in the homeless hostel, or on the streets, cos if you can’t pay rent that is the sad reality of where you have to go. Or back to live with parents

i did this, when OH lost his high paying job and ended up in one that paid only 1/4 of his previous pay. We did shifts together in a local pub, him pulling pints and me waitressing, and it kept our mortgage paid and our bellies fed, so I am not just saying to do this.
we got the job by asking if they needed staff.
we both got promoted and cut the pub down, but for a year it is what we did.

You should be getting at least 15 hours of funded childcare OP, so that's two short days. You don't have to pay the top up fees so check that's not what you're paying. Perhaps you're using 20 hours, Are you using the tax free childcare account for the remaining amount?

I am not disagreeing with the PP, nor am I dissing the daycare sector, they work hard, they are under funded but this is the maths of mine (and I appreciate it isn't everywhere)

So the wait list is like practically pre-conception. You pay a holding fee. The funded hours are term time only, but my nursery is year-round, so the funded hours are split across the year, then they add in a deposit, some kind of admin fee, (it's in the T+Cs, I did read them but baby brain) then ours has a minimum hours policy - they don't take only the funded hours- and a full day only clause, (no halfsies) and addon charges for nappies, wipes, cream and lunches, plus a staff uplift (it's to keep their staff, it sort of makes sense). The baby room is £££ because the staff ratio is (I think?) 1: 3 and it drops down sliiiiightly for the next room down and so on, and there is a little percent off for siblings/multiples. Anyway, they work it out, they invoice you, and I pay up because it is near work, they've had the opening booked forever and every nursery in the area laughs if you ring and ask if they have room prior to 2028 all that....and I make...a loss.

I literally thought of retraining in early years just because I'd be breaking even (nursery did staff rates for staff babies) (I work in a similar ish sector anyway)

Please don't think I am criticising the sector, I am not. My point was the maths of the situation for a mum with a new baby. (not all nurseries! )

You might not make it to the homeless hostel
You.might have had a heart attack working day and night and never resting.

Op does substitute teaching till you find a permanent/ temporary role.

DH stays at home as dad.

But I bet my bottom dollar this won't be accepted as a solution.....

So go back to the head. Say you had a change in circumstances and would like to come back full time in August and ask if its possible.

Do supply on your non working days (when back at work) until you have worked the 13 weeks then look for ft? Or do some tutoring ?

Or start looking for another full time teaching role in another school

I'm so sorry you're in this position so close to baby being born. It is stress that you just don't need and at a time that should feel so special too.

It likely feels overwhelming right now.

My suggestion would be to put an application in for universal credit. It is exactly for these circumstances that universal credit is availible.

Hopefully this will at least give reassurance and allow you a bit of space to enjoy the next couple of months whilst you prepare for baby and settle into newborn life.

And then, if a house move, new job or anything else is needed you've at least got a bit of breathing space to think things over and find what's best for your family in the circumstances you have.

Best of luck - and what wonderful news you have with baby's arrival coming very soon.

I don't undrerstand why most PP are saying the mum should go back to work FT hours in August, when she'll have a baby less than 2 months old, barely sleeping and barely recovered from giving birth, but the dad can't possibly do any extra hours? Are you all misogynists?

You could work 2 days a week elsewhere from Sept so you work full time, cut the nursery fees and have your husband stay home. Its not ideal returning to work after six months but sounds necessary.

I think your husband is the one who needs to step up while you are on maternity leave rather than you forcing yourself to go back to work early or full time. You need to recover and have time to look after your baby.

If your husband drives it should be easy to do delivery work or work for a taxi firm.

He needs to widen his job search and not just look for jobs in the same sector as his previous one.

Agreed.

Because this thread began in January of this year, and the baby will be six months old in August. RTFT before calling everyone a misogynist!

He got some redundancy?

He needs to apply for anything and everything at the moment. No idea what his actual job was but it’s times like these you do whatever you can take. Before I knew him DH worked in a food manufacturing plant for a stint. It was not great apparently but it paid the bills. I have great respect for cleaners because I did it to help pay my way through University, my low point was cleaning the men’s urinals in the student Union.

Do not panic as you have children there Is some help, if you are childfree the welfare state gives almost no assistance. The poster could also try and find FT work, if women want equality then them being default home maker just makes us look like that’s just what we do. I found having time with my kids when they were older far more useful than when they were very small.

Thank you so much for your messages!

baby is 5 months now, husband is teaching as cover and we did get UC accepted to top up. I’m going to hand in my resignation and move to cover after Mat leave. Thank you for all the advice it’s been so helpful