OP, no been in your situation, but by chance, saw a podcast the other day of Mel Robbins talking with psychiatrist Dr K about motivation, and he talked a lot about alcohol addiction as his main job is treating that issue.
He made some brilliant points which seem to go against AA's philosophy in an interesting way. His main point was: if you aim to be sober for 40 days and are sober for 39 days but drink on day 40 you have not failed. You have succeeded for the vast majority of the time, and can succeed again next day, so don't think of slip ups as signs of inability to succeed. I think that's important, because AA, if you drink, you are back to square one, whereas his philosophy would show, if, say, you lapse twice in a year, that you have been sober for 362 days - which is a massive achievement.
He also says ditch motivation. Motivation is a weakness not a strength. Because if we are motivated to do something, it's easy. So, no big deal. But it tempts us to avoid things we are not motivated to do, because they are hard and require effort. So he says - bypass motivation, just focus on a present moment action whether you want to do it or not. E.g. Decide: today's action is: buying an AF beer when meeting friends. Or, if tapering, adding a pint of sparkling water to a small glass of white wine, to make a weak spritzer that will take a while to drink at dinner time.
If you think it would help to watch this (and it might, because it is not about alochol issues - but about motivation, so might be a break from focusing on 'the problem') it's Mel Robbins podcast episode 208.