My partner, my kids and I are going away on a bit of an exotic holiday and will be staying, amongst other things, for one week in a small private retreat which is on a jungle island and built quite literally in the middle of the jungle.

It's en eco resort where they don't believe in harsh chemicals (which I agree with) and try to coexist with nature. I came across it because I'm a writer and someone invited me to a writing retreat there, I couldn't go but checked out the place and fell in love with it based on the stunning photos and videos available on the net. It's got amazing Tripadvisor reviews and so I booked the whole thing, not giving much thought to where it's located (I just thought of it as, 'lush vegetation', not 'middle of the tropical rainforest').

Now, it's almost coming up to the trip, I'm starting to seriously panic. It's for the first time sinking in that we are going to be IN the jungle, and while there are some very cool things - monkeys, hornbills, geckos - there are also snakes, spiders, mosquitoes galore, and our accommodation - being based on authentic Malaysian architecture - is kind of like a giant tree house. It's really pretty and artistic, set in 7 acres of jungle with two stunning saltwater swimming pools, but on the website itself - which I have only for the first time read properly this week! - it clearly says if you're scared of the jungle, don't like insects etc, then this is not the place for you.

I've travelled a lot when younger and have hiked through what's called the outer jungle in Peru, but only for one day (didn't spend the night) and wasn't really scared at all, but I worry I'm going to feel completely trapped somewhere where I might just lose my mind if I see a massive spider in my shower or whatever. The retreat is meant to have a 5* service and incredible food made by, essentially, a private chef who cooks for each family individually (there are only 8 rooms) so there's much to look forward to, but I just keep thinking, Jesus we will really be right IN it. Not next to it, not close to it, but INSIDE it. Most of the accommodation is kind of open to the jungle (in the bedrooms, you can close the wooden shutters and turn on the air con, but otherwise the living quarters are very immersed in the rainforest)

I haven't shared my concerns with my kids as I have to model adventure spirit....I wonder if my 15 year old daughter will join me in the nervous breakdown. My partner says we'll be fine, famous last words. The resort has been there since 1996 so they absolutely know what they're doing and in fact it's owned by two Brits who were born in Malaysia and who have been wonderful to deal with (the woman is an artist and this is their former home). And yet, and yet, who's going to save me when I trip over a gigantic tarantula lol.

Any thoughts - anyone on MN, who's a real city person in normal life, gone somewhere like this on holiday and survived the trauma of various exotic fauna :-) ?

My boyfriend is confusing me. Been together about 1.5 years, both 47, divorced. I have three kids, shared custody, he has two who are 15 and 12 and he sees every other weekend. He's lovely with my kids and easy to be around, bit over chatty but fine. He's generally kind and patient and has gotten over pushing us to live together which was driven by the fact that he hates paying rent but has now put an offer in on buying his own house. There's a money issue though and I've tried to be fair and patient...on our first date he didn't take his card out to pay, so I did and he later said he liked that I didn't expect him to pay (I didn't tbh but told myself why should the man pay). He paid for our second date in a simple Vietnamese place but I could feel his tension shuffling his cards choosing which one. But he was sweet so we carried on. Our first road trip he drove so I offered petrol money, he accepted and from then on it was clear I'd pay half for petrol. Meals were always split. I spoiled him as I like to on his bday in a lovely restaurant and gifts etc. On my bday he got me a pair of earrings on sale on Etsy which were pretty and took me to a restaurant but tensely said 'is this the kind of place you get starters' so I obviously said no need and only got a cheap main. He told me the other part of my gift was he'd take me for a hike and I wouldn't have to pay half for petrol. He cried a bit the next morning after I was honest after he asked me were the gifts not good and I gently said that petrol thing wasn't really normal. A few weeks later when he said he wanted to see me so would go to his fave Chinese on the way and bring it to mine without offering to get me some I calmly told him I'm struggling with this constant splitting of things, he should trust that I'm not after his money and I took him out to celebrate his new job etc. I am a generous person. To make up for the bday he bought me flowers but mentioned how they're good value in Morrissons, where they were from. Fast forward to this bday coming up in two weeks...I was honestly so nervous about him spoiling it so I booked myself a cottage in Wales for a couple of days and it hurt him but I told him to please not take it personally. My ex husband upset me on my bdays and I could do with a couple of days to myself but really, I know boyfriend isn't good at romance and I couldn't face another awkward meal. Anyway, twice over the last few weeks he has mentioned how he budgeted for my present (a hot water bottle) last month so this month he's budgeting for the meal. He earns £50k and only gives his ex wife the amount the child support calculator asks of him which is around £200 ish per month, he says because she gets children's allowance: not my business but I do think kids cost more and his daughter is autistic so needs therapy. Anyway, he then asked whether I want to go to the restaurants i took him to on my bday, I said, please - you choose. He said 'I'll just take you to the one you took me to'. I said to him, my love, please can we just not do bdays, anniversaries, Xmas (he got me a five pack of socks)...let's free ourselves, there's something awkward/tense with money and its making me uncomfortable, feeling like work/burden. He got very upset and said he couldn't feel more hurt or empty and is now not really talking to me! Its been 2 days. I told him he'd never expressed any kind of excitement about my bday and I just don't want this heaviness. There are just so many money orientated odd things...like he bought me pink salt and I said it was lovely and he said '£1'. I know his ex wife said he was controlling about money but he said she expected him to be the bread winner and was financially abusive: obviously I don't know the full story. It all just feels so awkward and I don't like how he's gone cold. Otherwise he's very affectionate and sweet....not selfish in bed but a bit predictable. Anyway....thoughts?

I wish someone had told me this sooner, so I am sharing with MN in the hopes it helps someone else too.

If your bedroom is too hot at night, open the window and place a fan on your windowsill facing outwards. It pulls the air in from behind it, pulling the hot air from the room.

Do this as soon as it’s cooler outside than in to cool the room down before you go to bed.

I was skeptical but it works really well.

Thank me later!! 😉

Bonnie has sadly passed away in hospital in Portugal.

Her recognisable gravelly voice shot her to fame and Total Eclipse of the Heart is such a classic 80s power ballad.

I got this on a bit of a whim from the Disturbia sale and although it's really cool and comfortable I'm not sure it doesn't add bulk to my hips. The belt could be removed if that would look better! Do I keep it?

I don't know if I'm overthinking this or if I have a right to be upset.
Tonight DH and I were talking about DS and how hopefully he'll get a space in a special school soon. DH said to me if that happens I'll need to do something during the day like go for a couple of miles walk. I asked why and he said well you need to exercise. I said if he was at school full time I was hoping to get a job. DH said well yeah as long as it's school hours term time only. I pointed out that as he's been at his job for years he could ask them to adjust his hours. Oh no apparently his work aren't doing that.
DH then said I should just stay home and most women would love the life I have. He was totally serious. So most women would love to have a chronic illness while caring for serverly autistic child. A six year old who has the development of a 12 month old, a child who's bedroom I have to scrub every day because he smears his poo at night. I do absolutely everything. Cooking, cleaning, appointments, therapy exercises with DS, fighting with the LA for the school place he needs and this makes me lucky? Most women would be jealous of that? I mean anyone who is can come round and clean my son's room tomorrow.
DHs comments have made me feel really shit. Like I'm a terrible mum because I don't enjoy being at home. Or like I don't appreciate DH goes to work and I don't have to (I do understand that most of the financial pressure.is on him). I would happily swap places with DH but he won't
I don't know I just feel like I can't even complain to DH if I've had a bad day now because he thinks I should be grateful I don't have to work. He's obviously got no intention of doing anything to help me get back to work if DS ever gets a school place and I suspect (well I know) everything will still fall to me because I have chosen to go back to work.
Don't get me wrong, I love DS to pieces and would do anything for him but he's still hard work. It probably sounds horrible to say but I did quite enjoy being a SAHM when my DDs were young but they had more understanding and enjoyed school holidays (DS doesn't because it changes his routine. We also can't go anywhere because DS doesn't like busy places) and they didn't smear.
I don't know if maybe I'm just really ungrateful and I should enjoy being a SAHM or if I'm right to be pissed off with what DH said and the fact he has no intention of doing anything to help me return to work

ONLY for those who hate this heat, heatwaves , not sleeping because it’s unbearable and can’t understand why anyone would like it
Come here for a moan .. hot weather lovers can start your own thread !
.. ( the other one is full )

I don’t have hyperhtdrosis but feel like I’m constantly sweating and looking a mess. I don’t have high standards just want to look clean and tidy. It’s a losing battle

I take two lukewarm showers a day, one right before bed. I apply antiperspirant both times

No makeup in this heat other than brow pencil and la Roche posay uvmune face spf. Set it with translucent powder to mattify, my face still gets shiny

I can’t wear white or light coloured tops as you’ll see sweat marks. Also body sunscreen (tried loads) always tends to stain my white clothing yellow

I like wearing black tops as don’t get any sweat marks but then I tend to get some visible lint on my black tops (even new tops, and I wash clothes inside out with similar colours).

My upper lip sweats a lot so I’m regularly blotting it. I also have a history of eczema on mouth area which can flare it a bit so goes quite red

When applying sufficient amount of body spf on my arms and legs it can separate and become a bit patchy/streaky after I’ve been out and about, random bits can stick to the spf too making me look so unkempt

I ensure to rub the body spf in well (I actually think creams are better than sprays for getting initial even application), but as the day goes on it just looks bad. I am currently using high protection spf by the brand Altruist (one of the highest ppd ratings) yet I still seem to get more sunspots (and likely skin damage)

I have tried lots of diff body SPF, all still do this to me.

& finally I’m naturally a hairy person, I try hard to stay on top of body hair removal but in harsh sunlight it’s so unforgiving and I always tend to miss random spots ffs. I epilate daily but because hairs are dark I feel you can still see tiny dots of roots growing in (too short to remove)

Meanwhile so many other people still manage to look so presentable, no sweaty shininess, very flawless and hairless smooth skin - how??

Not sure if this is new or a recent look at her life

4 parts - assume on weekly - I can’t seem to find any info

The story continues...

I’m a long time lurker but have pulled on my big girl pants for my first ever post in AIBU!

We are hosting my friend and her husband on Saturday for dinner. We’ve hosted them before and they’ve always been good company and said they’d enjoyed the food.

We were texting earlier about something unrelated - she clearly had another conversation on the go as she sent a reply which was of no relevance to our conversation.

Her message said:
I can’t do Saturday I am afraid. At (my name)’s for dinner again. That reminds me to stock up on the Pepto for the next morning 😂

Would it be wrong of me to rescind the invite? We go to a lot of effort to host them and feel this is frankly insulting.

DH has been talking about retiring for a few years. He has just told me when he would like to finish work and it coincides with our youngest starting secondary.
I feel a bit irritated by this timing. I was a sahm to our DC until youngest started school. I got a job that allowed flexibility and I did all school admin. Concerts. Assemblies. Sports Days etc.
It just feels a bit… convenient. Like he has waited until the DC need (significantly) less support to then be available. AIBU?

I've wanted an Eames Lounge Chair for years, but there's absolutely no way I can justify spending several thousand pounds on the original.
I've started looking at replicas instead and the prices seem to vary massively. Some are under £500, while others are over £1,000, so I'm assuming there must be a difference in quality?
Has anyone in the UK bought a replica recently? I'm interested in knowing:

• Was it actually comfortable?
• Has it held up well after a year or two?
• Did you go for genuine leather or faux?
• Any retailers you'd recommend (or avoid!)?
• Does it genuinely feel like a quality piece of furniture or does it look better in photos than in real life?

It'll mainly be going in our reading corner, so it'll actually get used rather than just sit there looking pretty.
Would love to hear some honest experiences before I part with the money!

This has been playing on my mind since my husband said that jumpsuits don't suit anyone. A friend of mine told me the opposite that jumpsuits suit everyone so thought I would have it a go and I now have two. I don't wear them often and he didn't comment when I did wear them on holiday but I have been reluctant to wear them even more since he said this even though it wasn't really directed at me personally. What do you all think?

Having an extension built on our house. Will likely be ongoing until September.
Have a skip outside our house which , when neighbours have asked , we have allowed them to put stuff in our skip. No problem.

A man from elsewhere in the village is working on his own house.

Five times now he was wandered up our garden (long garden) to find our builder and to try and poach him onto his site. He has not asked permission to come into our garden. We are paying our builder on a day rate so each interruption costs us money.

Last night he put a load of waste from his own house (loads of bathroom tiles , a sink and a bath panel) into our skip. Without asking.

Live in a very small village , word of any neighbour dispute quickly makes it round the village.

Do I put up with it for the sake of keeping the peace.

Or do I ask him to leave next time I see him in our garden and ask him to contribute to the cost of the skip?

ETA Builder also lives in the village , is a brilliant builder

YABU Keep the peace

YANBU Kick him out and send a bill

I was sure about leaving my job for another and handed in my notice. As soon as I did it, I felt regret and wanted the old job back because I realised how good it was. I have asked by email if I can withdraw my resignation. I was told my my manager there is nothing I can do apart from reapplying. I've sent emails to other parts of the company including HR who have opened an appeal.

Is there anything I can do?

My mom has a husband she's been with for about 12 years, they're in their 60s.

He has a sister and their father recently died after a very difficult few years of Alzheimer's disease (he was physically combative on the daily).

This sister (in front of everyone) told her mom that if a person gets a diagnosis such as Alzheimer's it is the person's responsibility that they don't become a burden on their loved ones and they should end their life. I cannot imagine saying that to anyone but especially my parents.

I'm looking for some good quality vest tops, the sleeveless kind as opposed to strappy. I have a bra with side support which comes quite high under my armpits so I need the vest to be the same.

Looking for some suggestions for summer reading for my book-obsessed 16 yo dd. She hardly read anything in y8 and y9 but in y10 suddenly became a voracious reader. It’s her biggest hobby now - she reads 3 or 4 books per week and no longer watches Netflix at all. I barely recognise her!

She does read fiction, and has tapped out the big hit classics like Pride And Prejudice as well as more recent novels like Madeline Miller’s Song of Achilles.

She really enjoys books about psychology, sociology, astronomy - for example she enjoyed reading an old 1999 book called The Calendar which is very dense but explains how religion and politics have changed how we measure and understand time. She has also read some of the self help books about improving your personal power and influence over others.

Anyway…she’s just finishing up “Man’s Search For Meaning” by Viktor Frankl which she chose for herself.

She’s pondering reading “The Man who mistook his wife for a Cat” next as she really quite enjoys medical/psychological weirdness (she was a big Stephen King fan in year 9!).

For her next read I recommended “Sapiens: A brief history of humankind” followed by “Thinking Fast And Slow” which I told her may be a bit of a stretch.

But for the summer I’d like something a bit lighter…

What else may she like?! When I was her age I read a biographIes and enjoyed them, but it would need to be something really engaging.

She proudly tells me she’s read everything worth reading and is “running out of books” which I found extremely cute. Help me build a reading list!

I love ice cream… I maybe hate the ice cream man though?

He’s come by our house twice in the last week around 9pm jingle blasting. All the windows are open because it’s been so hot and both times it’s woken my 2 year old and my baby.

Surly 9pm is too late to be amplifying music on a residential street?! Either that or the sleep deprivation has finally got to me AIBU 🤣🫣

I’m on a train back from London after a few days break and the whole place seemed to smell of BO, I know it’s very hot and sticky but it’s vile.

sitting on this train there’s been several people sitting/standing beside us who have been so smelly they’ve made me feel literally sick. I don’t know how hard it is to wash once a day and stick deodorant on?
There was one man, well dressed stand beside me whilst I was sitting and I could smell what I thought was poo off him like a not wiping/festering in the heat situation. Then there’s the BO/stale fags/stale beer delight we had on the way down.

I know I’m tired and perimenopausal but subjecting other people to your smelly body is horrible IMO

I’m 51. Look ok for my age - not amazing, not awful.

I have at least 75% grey hair which I colour faithfully to maintain my original brunette.

However, I just feel like I’m done. With the hairdresser trips, the grey showing after about five days, the covering up, the expense.

I’ve been thinking of taking the plunge to go grey but everyone around me is dead set against it.

None of my friends have done and think it’s ageing (though none of them are as grey as me and don’t have the upkeep).

DP - who is a women and who does keep up her hair to be fair - says I’ll look old and it’s not fair on the kids (we are old parents).

DD also says I’ll look old and not fair on her.

Any thoughts? Experiences?

My Mum has lipodema and wanted a vibration plate so I bought one for her and then one for myself.
I've used it a couple of times so far.
If you have one and you've been using it a while what benefits have you noticed?

Is this just going to be one of those things in the corner gathering dust or are there tangible benefits to it?

Was at a seemingly lovely wedding at the weekend. Beautiful setting and lovely ceremony.

One of my friends was chief bridesmaid and she had put so much effort into making the day perfect for the happy couple. But she started to drink a lot after the ceremony and by the end of dinner she was very tipsy and all over the singer from the wedding band. They had been playing some acoustic songs throughout the day and she kept making requests. It was obvious she fancied him.

Later on, one of the other guys from the band was lovely and asked if I had seen their singer because they were setting up for their evening set. I mentioned that my friend was also missing so went to look for them together. We joked that maybe they had eloped or something.

But nothing prepared me for what I was about to witness. Behind the outdoor toilets, my friend was down on her knees giving the singer from the band oral. I was mortified and the other guy from the band told me his friend had done this a few times. We are not even sure if they seen us and I’ve been too embarrassed to bring it up with my friend.

On the up side, the other guy from the band was really sweet and we danced a bit later that night and swapped numbers.

What is the craziest thing you’ve ever witnessed at a wedding?

New thread for everyone. Welcome back and hello to newbies and lurkers.

Advent season has now officially kicked off despite the heatwaves. There's a dedicated thread for advent calendar discussion with spoilers here
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5549187-beauty-fragrance-advent-calendars-infochat-2026-spoilers?page=1